Chapter 7
Nairie
Traveling from the valley to downtown was like watching evolution in action.
The wide streets, vast strip malls, and families on afternoon strolls turned into one-way streets, towering steel, and homeless people on every corner.
The idea that two places so different could co-exist thirty minutes from each other (without traffic) was startling.
Once I got to work, I finished organizing two out of the fifty filing boxes. I sighed at the monotony of it all. The echo of William’s words about always doing what was expected of me rang in my head.
The rows of shiny glass displays seemed to go on forever, and it triggered a sense of panic.
My mother’s bracelets jingled louder than a freight train as she packaged a customer’s order, and the smell of stale coffee emanating from their ancient machine burned my nostrils.
Before I knew it, my chest tightened as the cool prickle of a panic attack set in.
Over the last year, I’d had more and more, always at unexpected times.
I quickly got up and locked myself in the bathroom.
I was drowning in my panicked thoughts. It was like a wave repeatedly crashing over me, giving me no respite for air.
It took twenty minutes of drawing in my notebook to convince myself that the dark and imminent doom creeping inside was just a passing feeling.
When I reemerged, I was surprised to see my aunt, Lilit, speaking with Baba. My heart leaped at the sight, excited to hear about all of her amazing stories.
Despite walking with a cane, Lilit was always dressed to the nines with a cravat around her neck, her long silver hair never out of place, and her nails perfectly manicured.
Her makeup was elegant and simple with a bold red lip and precise cat eye on her big almond-shaped eyes.
At some point, Lilit had gotten incredibly rich.
There were rumors that a sheik took an interest in her and bought her properties and jewels, which she smartly invested.
I knew she was probably here just to pick a fight with Baba. They were siblings after all, and I always thought Lilit was making up for lost time since she traveled so much.
Today, it was about who made their mother’s hummus the best. I quickly hugged my aunt as they continued their argument.
Lilit’s voice was deep and melodic. “Nairie, do me a favor. Draw your father in a wig and dress.”
Baba pointed his finger at me. “Don’t you dare.”
Lilit let out a deep guttural laugh. “I want to prove a point that you look exactly like our mother when you make that face.”
I smiled and quickly drafted a rough sketch on the notepad by the register.
Pride shone in Lilit’s eyes. “This might be your best work yet.”
Baba looked at the crude drawing and rolled his eyes. “Okay, let Nairie get back to work.”
Lilit lifted the drawing. “Why? She can probably sell this for millions!”
Baba eyed his sister with an unspoken warning. “No, she can’t. Nairie, take care of the customer in front, please.”
I stared between the two of them. Clearly, they weren’t play fighting anymore, but I wasn’t sure what it was really about.
I went back into the showroom and greeted a male guest perusing some gold chains.
“Do you need any help?”
The unibrow-ed machismo looked me up and down and smirked. “Yes, actually. I just bought that Ferrari out front and needed something to match.”
I wanted to smash my head against the counter but instead spent the next ten minutes showing him our most expensive selection.
Aunt Lilit sidled up to me and rested her hands on the cane in front of her, eyeing up the customer in a not-so-subtle way. “You can’t afford any of these. Can you?”
The customer balked at her brazenness. “I most certainly can. That’s my Ferrari out front if you haven’t noticed.”
Lilit raised her lustrous gray eyebrows. “That’s my Ferrari, you twit.”
The customer’s eyes widened as he shifted his weight. “No, it’s not.”
Lilit dug through the pocket of her long bohemian skirt and clicked the key fob, sparking the Ferrari to life.
I looked at my aunt in surprise and laughed as the customer sulked out the front door.
“You have a Ferrari?”
Lilit looked proudly at it. “Damn, right. Listen, now that I’m going to be in town for a while, why don’t you come to my house for tea? We can catch up on all your adventures.”
I laughed. “My adventures? You’re the one with all the stories. All I do is help Mom and Baba at the shop.”
Lilit eyed me like she knew something I didn’t and nodded. “I heard they want you to move back in.”
“Yeah,” I sighed in defeat.
“Don’t do it, kid.”
“Really?”
“Stay strong. Stall it as long as you can and come see me.”
I nodded and watched her swiftly exit the store. The Ferrari’s door opened upward, and Lilit threw her cane in the front seat before gathering her skirts and fumbling into the car.
I laughed, and so did Lilit as she opened the passenger side window to call out, “It’s a bitch to get in, but guys love it!”
When I turned around, both of my parents were right behind me. “Sheesh, you guys scared me.”
Mom herded me to sit on a nearby stool. “Listen closely, Nairie. We love your aunt, Lilit.”
Baba nodded aggressively, “Yes, I love my sister, Nairie.”
“Okay?”
“But she has no business in sharing the details of her sordid life,” Mom said with disdain.
“I don’t know, seems kind of awesome to me.”
Baba huffed. “No, it’s not awesome. She’s all alone and might not be the best influence for you right now.”
I looked between them and felt confused, but Mom changed the subject quickly. “You’re moving back in this weekend, right?”
I hesitated and fiddled with the hem of my shirt. “Well, Elspeth isn’t doing so great.”
A white lie wouldn’t hurt.
Baba furrowed his eyebrows. “Isn’t her brother here now?”
“Yes, but he’s leaving soon, and Elspeth isn’t eating or talking as much anymore.”
“She’s not eating?” Mom’s voice raised an octave.
Not being able to consume food was the biggest travesty in our culture and a red flag I knew my parents wouldn’t take lightly.
“Yeah, I even made YaYa’s rice and kebab, but nothing.”
“No!” they both said in shock.
“Yeah, it’s really bad.”
“I’ll cook her up some more things, and you can bring it to her. She’s skin and bones as it is,” Mom said.
I feigned a solemn nod. “I know.”
Baba squeezed my shoulder. “Poor thing. She seemed okay at the funeral.”
“That’s Elspeth. Always pretending to be strong.”
I tried to ignore the image of Elspeth singing “Dancing Queen” at the top of her lungs just the other day.
“Such a depressed little thing,” I added for extra measure.
. . .
At the end of the day, I headed to art class.
I’d agreed to go out on another date with Luke tonight and wore a cute but casual summer dress so we could leave right after class.
It was only a means to the Scottish distraction constantly on my mind.
I had another dream about William in my drunken stupor.
I’d often dreamed of him over the years, but this one felt so real.
I was embarrassed when I woke up wet and needy.
It was the perfect time for Luke and I to have sex.
I was so horny that maybe I could ignore his cringe-worthy performance.
We’d stop by Elspeth’s pub first so I could get tipsy before Luke took me to a promotional event for a brand he was working with—a “natural” steroid supplement company.
The shabby bungalow where my art classes took place had creaky wooden chairs and scuffed maroon vinyl flooring.
My classmates were the most random people: an empty nester who needed to fill her time, a frat guy who wanted a more well-rounded Tinder bio, and a Russian immigrant who barely spoke a word of English.
Luke entered the room, dick out like there was no tomorrow. He leaned against the doorframe until the rest of the class was ready for him. I buried my face deeper in my sketch pad until my nose nearly touched the paper.
The teacher, Gary, was a slight man with large glasses and skinny jeans. A hipster in his mid-forties.
Gary scooted his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Alright, guys, I hope you’re putting in more work on the weekends and not just here.”
I started outlining Luke’s form, but my pencil slowly drifted from the task at hand to illustrations of William.
He’d always encouraged me to push past my boundaries when we were kids. They were always safe risks, of course, like basic self-defense moves in case the kids at school got too aggressive or going on midnight hikes even though I was deathly afraid of the dark.
Then, when he’d heard about the Instagram competition, he urged me on along with Elle. I decided to focus on my drawing of the surfer that William liked. It was my favorite too, and I’d put all my energy into perfecting it before the deadline.
Having him confide in me at breakfast was the first time I got to be his support for a change. I knew he had a lot going on back home, but he always refused to talk about it. It was like he was finally seeing me as an equal.
I drew the muscles I so longed to touch and his steady, penetrating stare that seemed to hypnotize me into a stupor.
But when I looked back up to refocus on class, Luke was bent into a pretzel, giving every artist a close-up of how effective anal bleaching could be.
***
Later, I was thankful to walk into the pub, hoping a stiff drink would erase the memory of Luke’s puckered butthole.
The sign out front seemed to be back up, the old English script shimmering in the streetlights with gold-leaf lettering.
Elspeth stood behind the bar, looking sexy as hell in her element, like a modern-day Joan from Mad Men. I headed straight toward her with a silent plea for help. I couldn’t see William anywhere and was grateful not to introduce him to the idiot currently on an Instagram live next to me.
I put my hand on his arm and made the introductions. “Luke, this is my friend Elspeth.”