Chapter 8 #2
Nairie kept her eyes on the trail ahead, and I continued. “I didn’t want to be a soldier forever. But I’m grateful for everything I learned. It made me a better person, and it helped me channel some of my more violent tendencies.”
Nairie scrunched her face. “You were never violent.”
“I did punch a kid for making fun of you that one time.”
She laughed. “Oh, yeah.”
We passed a bunch of other hikers waiting in line to take a selfie in front of a tree that was painted hot pink, and I rolled my eyes.
“You didn’t see a lot of that side to me. Back home, there was a lot more going on.”
Nairie looked at me sadly and brushed my arm with her fingertips. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrugged and gently grabbed her elbow to steer her away from stepping in a pile of coyote poop. “Didn’t want to drag either of you into it. Visiting you guys was supposed to be my vacation. Well, as much of a vacation as you could hope for with my brother around.”
Nairie nodded. “He was quite the asshole.”
“He was and still is, indeed. Not a very good brother at all, but once I got into the service, I made a new family. Coming back home and running the inn was an adjustment. But I’m grateful because it allows me to take care of my mum.
And it’s a legacy I want to leave for my kids one day.
Something I can build from the ground up. ”
Nairie smiled, her brown eyes appearing to sparkle, and dare I say, I almost blushed. I felt like a teenager around her, and it was unnerving as hell. There seemed to be a constant buzz of anxiety and excitement whenever I got to spend time alone with her.
We started walking up one of the inclines, and I tried not to notice the way her breasts heaved. “How are you coping with everything?”
Nairie looked at me breathless and laughed.
“What?”
Nairie answered between huffs. “How are you not out of breath right now?”
I smiled.
“Don’t answer that. Just give me a second.”
We got to a place where the ground leveled out so Nairie could catch her breath. A pretty flush colored her cheeks, and I gave her some water. She wrapped her lips around the top, and I averted my gaze to a couple of squirrels fighting over a discarded protein bar.
“Okay. Your question. I’m coping with it. Totally got a handle on this coping stuff. I’m the Francis Ford Coppola of coping.”
We continued up another incline as two men coming down the hill locked in on Nairie’s ample cleavage. I gave them a death glare, which caught their attention, and they scurried faster past us.
I looked back at her. “Yeah, you sound super normal talking about it.”
Nairie wasn’t going to be an easy nut to crack, so I kept opening up. “Lindsey was kind of like a second mum to me.”
“Really?”
We encountered a ledge in the path, and I went up first, offering my hand to help her up.
Her small hand gripped mine as she smiled widely.
It was that look of absolute trust that gave me a gut punch every time.
I let her go, and we continued as I shook out my hand to try and focus on my words and not her touch.
“My mum was so busy all the time. She worked multiple jobs, so Angus and I were left to our own devices, and he was shit for company. Whenever I’d come visit here, Lindsey had the time to ask me questions a normal mum would ask.
She was always such a good hugger too. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mum, but she’s a tough lady.
She’s been through a lot and was trying to keep our family above water.
Lindsey was lucky she had her family’s pub and that it was doing well.
So when I came here, it was nice to be taken care of for a change. ”
Nairie looked at me with pity.
I stopped and gazed at the expanse of the canyon. Cars bustled on the streets down below, and the smog cleared enough at this time of day so you could see the mountains across the valley.
“Don’t do that,” I said.
“Do what?”
“Don’t look at me like I’m a sick puppy.” I nudged her shoulder with my own. “I’m okay, love. Me and Mum are on better terms now. I don’t blame her for anything, but I’m glad I had someone like Lindsey. Her death hit me hard.”
Nairie was quieter now. “She was like a second mom to me too.”
Nairie was super close to her family, so this was a surprise.
She huffed out a breath. “My family loves so damn hard sometimes it’s suffocating.”
I didn’t get enough attention, and she got too much. What a pair.
We continued walking, edging closer to the top now as the path narrowed. Our bodies brushed against one another as I tried to keep my attention on what she was saying.
“My parents are strict, and they have plans for my life. Working at the shop and dating their suitors. Plans I didn’t necessarily agree with, but I can never say no to them.”
“Why?”
She thought it over like she’d never posed the question to herself before.
After some time, she looked back at me. “Because of how hard they worked to get to America, to make us a life here. I’m their only daughter. It’s just selfish to do what I want when they sacrificed so much.”
Och, this girl. “It’s your life.”
Nairie nodded silently, and we watched a hawk above floating gracefully in the air. “I know. Lindsey would always tell me that too. Being at Elspeth’s house, I could be free to do things I wanted and not feel guilty about it. I could be selfish, and that was okay.”
“Like with your art.”
Nairie smiled. “Yeah. She was my biggest cheerleader. And I won’t forget when you got me my first official art set. I still have it somewhere.”
I smiled. “I would have gotten you one every year if I had known it meant that much.”
“I know. But Lindsey took care of that too. I could envision a different kind of life for myself, but now that she’s gone . . .”
We reached the top of the hike and found a bench that overlooked the city. The air was crisp up here, and the sea glimmered in the distance, reminding me of home.
Nairie collected herself after sniffling away a few tears. “It feels like all my dreams died with her.”
I brushed one of her tears away with my knuckle and grazed the side of her face. “Lindsey wouldn’t want you to give up on your dreams. You deserve to live the life you want. Your parents want you to be happy.”
Nairie looked down and breathed deeply, letting my words settle.
“Have you talked to Elle about any of this?”
Nairie shook her head. I settled my hand around the base of her neck and stroked her skin with my thumb, hoping she didn’t notice.
“She’s going through so much of her own stuff.”
“Sharing your feelings with her will only bring you two closer. It’ll do both of you some good. And that’s coming from years of therapy myself.”
It was hard asking for help after I left the service, but I didn’t want to end up like so many guys I knew who struggled to cope with civilian life. If I had to build a business, I wanted to do it with a clear head.
Nairie looked up at me with her soft brown eyes. “I’m really proud of you. That must not have been easy.”
She turned to look out at the view, and I gently let my hand fall behind her on the bench.
I watched as she took in the ocean. Rolls of fog blanketed the water, but we could still see the white caps of the waves crashing.
Noise from the freeway in the distance almost sounded like rushing water, the wind from the cars strumming a constant hum.
Million-dollar houses were nestled in the hills, and a helicopter flew by.
It was hard finding a quiet place in LA. If this were a hike back home, we wouldn’t see another person or hear another thing for miles.
“Thanks for taking me out here. You’re always so good at making me feel better.” Nairie smiled at me.
That was my favorite view, and my heart pounded harder in my chest. “Likewise. I’ll always be here to make you feel better, love.”
Nairie turned back to the skyline. “For now.”
I looked at her profile. “For always.”