Chapter 10
William
I’d never felt so out of sorts in my life.
What the fuck came over me yesterday? It’d been a long time since I’d lost control like that, but being around Nairie was dangerous.
It was the only time I felt powerless. I couldn’t hold myself back from her, and that was only going to end in heartbreak.
The fact that she was a virgin was just another complication.
I knew she’d had a crush on me since we were kids, but she deserved someone better.
She wouldn’t want to be with me if she knew my past sins and the threat of Angus always looming.
I was going to tell her it was a mistake, but I had to leave the house to help Elspeth with the pub. By the time we got back, Nairie was already in bed again.
I kept myself busy the next morning to avoid thinking about last night, but images would bob to the surface of my mind. Some primitive part of my brain got off on the fact that nobody had gone down on her before. To be the first one to give her that kind of pleasure made my dick harder than ever.
Just hearing her get off almost had me coming in my pants like a teenager. I growled in frustration and abandoned my workout.
What happened next in the shower was inevitable.
I had to work off the tension, so I glided my hand along my hard length under the water in a firm grip.
I hitched a breath and rubbed myself faster, imagining Nairie writhing in my hands as I touched her warm, soft skin.
I grunted and imagined going down on her from behind so my tongue could explore every inch of her depths while my fingers circled her clit.
Would she like it rough? She seemed to like the dirty talk well enough.
The idea spurred me on as I imagined grabbing hold of her long hair and exploring her sweet sex with every inch of my cock.
I wanted her to feel my hard length inside her, to see the shock and pleasure in her eyes as I sank inside her sweet pussy. I bit my lip and stroked myself faster. It was the thought of her sweet moans that sent me over the edge as I released my load.
I placed my head on the cool tile and cleaned myself off. The girl had me behaving like an animal.
But I would do well to remember Nairie wasn’t someone I could just hook up with. She was the only woman outside of family who I’d ever gotten close to.
Although Shannon and I were together for several years, I never felt for her the way I do for Nairie, and that scared me. So I’d have to put an end to whatever this flirtation was. I wished in some universe, Nairie and I could be together—that we could both be selfish for once.
I was back downstairs on a call with the inn when I heard her enter the room.
Showcasing all her best assets, she was wearing jean shorts and a tank top. She looked so sweet, but I knew how ravenous she could be in bed, and that made me smile. I quickly ended the call, and Nairie tentatively smiled back at me, slowly making her way to lean against the counter across from me.
“Hey,” she said shyly.
“Hi.”
We stared at each other until Nairie turned away to giggle. She was still glowing from last night, and I caught a glimpse of the hickey I left on her neck. I felt a fleeting moment of satisfaction.
“So . . . last night.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. Listen, Nairie, I’m sorry.”
Nairie’s eyes dropped. She looked crestfallen, like she already knew what I was about to say. She was always so honest with her emotions, never able to hide them even if she tried, and I loved that about her.
“You didn’t enjoy it,” she said like a statement as if confirming something.
“No, that’s not it at all! It was amazing.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, it was incredible.”
“Then why did you leave?”
I gathered my thoughts. “I had to help Elspeth at the pub. I’m not going to be in America for very long, and I need to help her as much as I can before I leave.”
She nodded solemnly. “I understand.”
I hesitated to tell her this next bit because it was an asshole thing to say, but it was the truth. “And I don’t think I can let whatever we have going on distract me.”
Nairie’s eyebrows rose. “Oh.”
I was in dangerous territory now. “I want to put an end to whatever this is before it gets out of hand. These are things you should do with a boyfriend, not someone like me.”
Nairie’s scowled. “Someone like you?”
“I haven’t had a relationship in seven years, and I live across the world from you. What happens if we have sex? You’ll get attached, and it’ll only hurt more when I leave.”
Her cheeks flushed, and her eyebrows scrunched together as she squinted at me with vitriol. She was fuming. It was that same angry-bunny look I loved.
“I’m not a child, William. You’re making these decisions without even talking to me first.”
I put my hand up. “I know how this is going to end.”
Her brown eyes looked back up at me with conviction. “Coward.”
I got closer and looked her dead in the eye. “I’m the coward? You can barely stand up to your parents.”
It was harsh. She didn’t deserve that. But somebody had to tell her the truth, and being mean was my last resort to getting her to hate me enough to stop wanting me.
She whipped around and left the room, slamming the door behind her.
I rubbed my face in frustration. I’d help Elspeth get the pub on the right track and go back home. Nairie would find a man her parents approved of, and we’d all move on.
It was the way things were supposed to go, so why did it hurt so much when I thought about it?
***
Days went by with Nairie giving me the cold shoulder.
That didn’t go unnoticed by Elspeth, who bullied me for answers, but I refused to tell her the truth.
I focused on tackling the next project at the pub, which meant finding cheaper alternatives for some of her inventory to help cut down on costs and repricing her cocktails.
The viral video led to the pub being busier than ever. So Elspeth and I came up with a new schedule for happy hour and events to help incentivize the influx of customers.
The inn was doing okay, but I had to get back soon. The early morning calls were wearing on me, and despite Nairie’s dejected attitude, she made sure that coffee was always ready and breakfast was prepared.
One particular night, she showed up with a plate of dinner for me while I was working in my room, and before she could leave, I grabbed her hand and kissed the inside of her palm.
I shouldn’t have done it, but she was such a genuinely kind person through and through.
I still cared deeply for her, and it was a gut reaction to show her some semblance of appreciation.
We stared at each other wordlessly, and the warmth in her eyes returned for a millisecond.
I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing her look at me that way, but then she righted her face with a cool indifference and left the room.
It was the only interaction we’d had since our lustful night, and it tore me up that I was leaving our friendship this way.
It was a few days later when Elspeth came in with a bag of groceries. I looked up at her from the kitchen table curiously.
“I’m making us dinner since Nairie will be at her parents’ for the weekend.”
I nodded silently.
“She’s going out on a date with some guy they set her up with.”
I shut my eyes and counted to ten.
“Some hotshot lawyer.”
“That’s good.”
Elspeth sat with me at the table and popped open our beers. “Is it? She told me you guys hooked up.”
I remained silent and took a swig of my beer.
“She makes you happy, Will. She’s not Shannon. And long-distance relationships can work with the right people.”
“Let’s just focus on your pub, okay?”
Elspeth shook her head. “Okay, Will. But girls like Nairie are one in a million, and I think you guys have something special.”
I squeezed her hand and took my beer to the patio to sulk. I knew Nairie wasn’t like Shannon. That’s what scared me so much—that it was so different with her. Better in so many ways. If it hurt when it didn’t work out with Shannon, how much would it hurt if it didn’t with Nairie?
I also knew she would never leave her family, so if it came down to making it work, neither of us would compromise on moving.
No, it was better this way. Even if I had to see her date other men.