Chapter 5
ELLIE
“I’ll be in town in three hours. Find us a coffee shop and send me the location.
I’ll meet you there.” Calvin’s voice invades my ears as I’m trying to sleep.
I peek one eye open. He’s driving, his cellphone pressed between his shoulder and ear.
I sit up and stretch. It’s still dark outside, and I swear I only dozed off minutes ago.
I was flipping through some of last night’s footage, searching for the best stuff, when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
The bus is quiet, only the hum of tires rolling across the blacktop filling the silence. All of the guys are in their beds, hopefully sleeping. I stand up and roll my shoulders, feeling the stiffness there.
Calvin’s eyes catch mine through the rearview mirror. He lowers his tone to a whisper before hanging up altogether. I make my way to the passenger seat and plop down, gazing out the window. There are no other cars on the road, but that’s not unusual for this hour.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks.
“No.”
Calvin and I have a strange relationship.
I don’t particularly like him. He’s arrogant, self-absorbed, and at times, a total dick.
But he’s done a lot for the guys, so I tolerate him and try to remain professional.
He’s not horrible to look at with his tanned skin and short brown hair that he always styles too neatly.
He’s fit, like he worked out regularly before coming on tour, and always dresses in slacks and polo shirts.
But he’s uptight and bossy. I bet that carries over into his sex life.
And one thing I don’t like is to be bossed around, ever. Especially in the bedroom. I like to be the one to take charge, but most guys are put off by that. So, I play along, and it’s fine. As long as I get off, I’m good.
“Ellie, Earth to Ellie,” he says, sounding annoyed. I shift to face him. He glances over, then fixes his attention back on the road. “Did you hear me?”
“No, what?”
“I said, put on some music if you want. I know you need that noise to sleep.”
My head tilts to study him. It’s no secret I love music. Lots of music—all sounds and genres, but it’s weird that he paid attention to anything other than how crisp his shirt is. Seriously, not a single wrinkle.
I turn on the radio, twisting the knob until I land on alternative rock, leaving the volume low.
It’s quiet for a while before Calvin speaks again. “Are you homesick yet?”
“Not really, but I miss my friends.” My chest aches, missing my best friend more than anyone.
In the four years we lived together, we never spent more than a week apart, until she met Penn.
Now we barely see each other. She lives with him, and I’m on tour.
And I hate living alone. I’d never tell her that.
It would make her feel guilty, and I could never do that to her.
She’s so happy now. “We’re nearly halfway now, though, so I can manage,” I add.
“Actually, there’s talk of extending the tour. Might be on the road another four to five weeks if it all works out.”
My spine stiffens. “Since when?”
“Nothing is set in stone.”
I huff, annoyed no one mentioned this to me. It’s not like I have anything to rush home to, but a heads-up would’ve been nice.
I slide my phone out of my pocket and click the text thread between Liv and me. It’s late, but she might still be up.
Ellie:
I miss you!!
To my surprise and utter glee, she responds right away.
Olivia:
I miss you so much! Are you doing ok? Are they treating you well?? Just say the word…
Ellie:
It’s fine. They treat me well but I hate being kept out of the loop. Calvin just dropped the bomb about the tour possibly extending! I mean, how long have they known this? Did you know?
I imagine if Penn knew, Liv definitely knew. I bet he’s not happy about it either. I worried he wouldn’t leave her at all. She practically had to force him.
Olivia:
What? No, I didn’t know. How long?
I can sense her panic through the texts, even though it doesn’t show. I know my best friend. I feel like shit for dropping that on her this late at night. I was only trying to vent, but now I’ve probably ruined any chance she had at a solid night’s sleep.
Ellie:
I’m sorry Liv! It might be nothing. I was just pissed because Calvin doesn’t tell me shit. He’s always so secretive. I’m sure Penn didn’t want to tell you unless it was for sure and it’s NOT!
Olivia:
It’s ok. I’m fine. I’m glad the tour is doing so well. I’m proud of them. I just miss you guys <3
I tell her I love her, then tuck my phone away, shooting a glare at Calvin.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I huff, standing up and moving to the back of the bus.
I toss and turn for hours. It feels like I just passed out when yelling jolts me awake.
“The fuck?!” I hear Penn roar.
My eyes pop open, and I jump out of bed, scurrying to the living area, following the noise. The bus is still, so we must be parked somewhere.
“Calm down, Penn,” Calvin says coolly.
Oof.
“Fuck you. Stay out of this.” Penn’s voice lowers to a lethal level I’ve only heard a couple times before.
A smile almost slips out because it’s Calvin who’s getting his wrath, but then a puddle of guilt hits my stomach.
This has to be about what I told Liv. The next words out of Calvin’s mouth confirm it.
“Nothing is set in stone. I said that! No one made any decisions without you. Ellie’s starting drama with her big mouth.”
My shoulders straighten, and I’m three feet from the kitchen where everyone is. My foot lifts, ready to march in there and punch him in his stupid butt chin, but then Travis pipes up, and I freeze.
“Watch your fucking mouth before I put my fist in it.”
Calvin lets out a bitter laugh. “Sorry, my bad. Thought you two were done with your…whatever that was.”
My heart pounds harder, at Travis’s threat or Calvin’s dig, I’m not sure. Not that Calvin knows anything. He wasn’t around then, but he was there when I signed my contract. He knows what it entails—no fraternizing with the lead singer.
“Oh, shut up!” Travis spits.
All their heads whip around in my direction as I strut into the room.
“Excuse you,” I say, channeling all my strength not to claw his eyes out.
“I do not have a big mouth.” I kind of do, but not in the way he means.
I do not spread drama for the hell of it.
Besides, why did I know before Penn? That makes no sense.
“I was venting to my best friend about the possibility of additional stops being added on without my knowledge. I thought I was the last one to know.” I prop my hands on my hips and send Calvin the meanest scowl I can manage.
“You weren’t. Apparently, this is the Tanner and Calvin show, and we’re all just along for the ride,” Penn says dryly.
Calvin’s hands go up in surrender as everyone but Tanner shoots daggers at him. I don’t even see Liam, but my guess is he’s hiding from the drama. Tanner appears bored, staring at nothing as everyone bickers back and forth.
“Look, everyone calm down. It was only an idea. This is good news! More stops, more money.” Calvin tries to sell it, but that was the wrong thing to say to these guys.
Travis barks out a sarcastic laugh. “We don’t do this for the money, you fuckwad.
I’m calling a band meeting right now!” He pounds a fist on the small table.
“Someone get Liam. I know he’s not asleep.
” When no one moves, Travis yells to the back of the bus, “Liam, get the hell out here. Band meeting!”
Liam sheepishly shuffles into the kitchen and slides into the booth across from Travis.
“No more decision-making unless every single person in this room”—he swivels a finger around to each of us, and my heart skips a little, grateful he’s including me—“is there. Got it? If not, you can fuck off and find someone else to sing.”
I bite back my smile at Calvin’s annoyed expression—it’s nothing new. But Tanner seems a teeny bit regretful, and Penn looks proud as he stares at Travis.
Everyone nods in agreement.
“Ok, go back to bed. Get some rest. We can talk more about this on break,” Calvin says.
The guys head down the hall, except Travis. He runs a hand through his thick mohawk. The tips were a bright blue at the start of the tour, but are now fading, turning back to their original stark white color.
My nerves are shot once again tonight, and I know sleep will be nonexistent, so I take the seat across from him. “Thanks for that.” I keep my voice quiet, not wanting Calvin to overhear.
“You deserve to be kept in the loop, too, May. You’re one of us now.”
I smile. His old nickname for me—my middle name—reappearing from nowhere. He only ever called me that when we were alone.
“I appreciate it. How are you sleeping?”
He rolls his eyes like I’m a bother, and I might be. I’d never have thought this would be the type of relationship we’d have. I’m not used to worrying about someone so much. I liked it better when we were just friends, barely friends. It was mostly benefits. And the benefits were good.
So freaking good.
But now that I’ve gotten to know him better and I’m around him all the time, I notice things, things that worry me because I care for him. I care for all of them, and I want them to succeed. I want it for them so damn bad.
Travis simply shrugs, not bothering to respond to my question.
I let him off the hook and switch gears.
“I think you should do pink next.” He looks up, eyes finally hitting mine.
They’re a pale blue color, but they’re bloodshot and tired.
Deep bags underneath, and not even a tiny spark of the fire I’m used to seeing from him.
“Pink?”
“Yeah. Your mohawk. Let’s dye it pink.” I reach over and finger the fading tips.
He watches my hand until I let it fall to the table. “Yeah, sure.”
I perk up. “Really? Can I do it?”
“Yep.”
“Girlies are going to love that.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.
His dance back, but his eyes don’t light up like normal.
He leans back against the wall, stretching his legs across the seat.
I pull my phone from my sweats and place it on the table, keying up one of my playlists.
I keep the volume low enough for just us, and we sit in silence listening until eventually, I crash.