Chapter 34
TRAVIS
“Pfft, monogamy is lame anyway,” I mumble to myself as I lie in my hotel bed, watching an Animal Planet documentary.
I haven’t watched a single one since we’ve been on tour, and I forgot how relaxing it was.
Not to mention how much I learn. Did you know owls don’t have eyeballs? They’re eye tubes. Fucking weird.
“Hey.” Penn strolls through the door of our shared room. “What are you watc—” He cuts himself off when he sees two owls mating on TV.
“They’re ‘copulating,’” I inform him.
He makes a face. “It doesn’t look like she’s into it.” He flops on his bed and kicks his shoes off.
“How do you know she’s on the bottom?”
He shoots me a look.
“Maybe she’s the dominating one.” She’s not. I just like fucking with him.
“That’s how you like it, right?” He wiggles his brows, wearing a knowing smirk.
“I like it every way.” Immediately, visions of Ellie riding me flash through my head, making my cock flinch.
I haven’t had a lick of action since she started riding the crew bus.
Every apology I’ve thrown at her has fallen on deaf ears.
She went from barely looking at me to watching me so carefully, as if I’m made of glass and she doesn’t want me to break.
I don’t know why. I wish she’d go back to playing with me and stop worrying.
Fuck, I wish she’d just talk to me. I miss having her around, smelling her delicious perfume, hearing her laugh, and listening to music with her when she can’t sleep.
Penn chuckles, throwing his head back, staring up at the ceiling, and then he sighs. My muscles tighten at the sound. I already know what’s coming.
“You doin’ ok, man?”
I keep my gaze trained on the TV, watching the owls boink. “Yep.”
“You ready to be home?”
I shrug, like it doesn’t matter either way, but fuck yes, I am.
“I’m so fucking ready. This shit sucks.”
“What if you didn’t have Olivia to run home to? Would it suck?”
“Hell yeah. You know I never liked traveling.”
“Yeah, but that was when Pacey was...” I trail off, glancing at him. I expect him to be scowling, but his attention is on the white popcorn ceiling. He used to hate being farther than two hours from his mom in case something happened with his sister, but things are better now.
“I still hate it. I like being home,” he says simply. His eyes meet mine. “And you?”
“I don’t know.” I shift on the bed, feeling itchy. “I miss sleeping in a normal-sized bed.”
Before he can question me more, his phone pings, relieving me of the pressure of his gaze.
His thumbs work across his screen, and I go back to my show, but I start to get antsy.
I’m fucking bored, dying to get up and move.
There’s nothing to clean in here, and tidying the bus more will only earn me weird looks.
No one’s on there right now, but I don’t have a key, so I’d have to ask Calvin or Tanner for it.
Then make up an excuse that’s just going to lead to more questions.
They all watch me like a damn hawk now. My skin is constantly crawling from their stares.
I don’t know what they want from me. I ignore the cleaning list Tanner made, I get shit.
I go above and beyond and clean the bus so fucking good you could lick peanut butter off the floors, and I get more shit.
So what if I stumbled over some lyrics once. One time in all these years? I’m golden. The crowd still loved it. I don’t even think they noticed.
I glance over at Penn. He’s Facetiming with Liv now. I swear I don’t know what they talk about, it’s like they never run out of shit to say to each other. He needs to save some of that for when he gets home.
I pick up my own phone, twiddling it between my thumbs. Can’t have a conversation with my best friend because he’s too busy being boyfriend of the year over there. Clicking my text thread with Ellie, I stare at the messages I’ve sent that she’s ignored.
Travis:
hey
Travis:
I’m bored..
Travis:
I heard there was a good donut shop a few blocks from the venue. Wanna go with me?
I thought for sure that one would’ve gotten me something, but no. She read it instantly, then nothing. I considered going for spite. Ordering every donut on the menu and sending her a picture of me swimming in them just to grind her gears.
Travis:
May…
My thumbs hover over the letters. I-M- S-O-R-R-Y. But shit, I’m tired of being on trial all the time. I can’t do anything right in anyone’s eyes. I’m running myself ragged. Burning the candle at both ends, just trying to keep my eyes open. Give me a break.
Travis:
When’s our next media thing?
Ellie:
Three days. 1pm.
Of fucking course she answers that. I growl, slamming my phone down, and Penn shoots me a look. I ignore him and go back to my documentary. Animals never let you down. When I get home, I’m getting a dog. Well, probably not a dog, they’re a lot of responsibility. Maybe I’ll get a fish.