Chapter 62
TRAVIS
“This is it, guys, make it count. Leave everything out there on that stage. Soak it up, you did it!” Ellie isn’t normally one for pep talks before a show. She lets us have our space. That’s what we like, but this is different. Our last show.
Four months and fifty-five shows later, we’re done.
What a trip. Exhausted and burnt out doesn’t begin to describe it. But also elated and…fucking proud, too. Because yeah, we did it.
I almost didn’t. But thanks to the girl standing in front of me, tearing up as she leaves the room, I made it. She leaves the room, and a nagging feeling prickles the back of my mind.
Something’s not right.
Last night when she dropped our suits off, she didn’t stay and would barely look at me.
I rushed after her, but she was on the phone outside the bus.
I stayed back, trying not to eavesdrop. She was agitated and arguing with someone who was “letting her down,” and she “couldn’t believe he’d do this.
” It felt like a knife to the chest. I have no clue who she was talking to, but I didn’t like it.
Then she texted me later and asked me not to come to her room because she was too tired. She’s never too tired to come.
I trust Ellie, but I’m…fuck, I’m scared. And my first instinct when fear sets in is to run. I’m trying like hell to fight the urge, though. I want to see this through.
I finish doing my vocal warm-ups. When Tanner gives us the signal, we file out the door.
The crowd is roaring as we approach the stage.
I hadn’t so much as peeked to see how many people were here.
I just wanted to live in the moment tonight.
I’ve been so checked out half of this tour.
Tonight, I want to be present. Soak it in, like Ellie said.
The screams pierce my ears, giving me chills. When the bell that signals our arrival dings, a hand slaps my back. Tanner comes close, and we huddle together, a familiar look mirroring my bandmates’ eyes as we stare at each other.
This is it. It’s over.
We can go home after this. Everyone can go back to their families. I can go back to my bed.
Most importantly, we goddamn did it.
We stride on stage, and my smile is instant and easy. My adrenaline kicks into overdrive as the cheers filter through my fucking veins, making my head float and my blood roar. Way better than drugs.
I grab my guitar that’s leaning against Liam’s drum set and slip it over my head. I adjust the mic stand just so, even though they fixed it for me before. It’s a habit to touch it.
“How’s everyone doing tonight?”
Screams and hands go up, and I scan the place. It’s even bigger than Stage AE from a couple weeks ago, and holy shit, it’s packed. Bodies cover every square foot my eyes land on.
My chest swells. Let’s fucking go.
Liam kicks his drum, setting us in motion. I open my mouth and start singing, letting the music take me away. To a high I don’t have to chase. It finds me every time I step on a stage. Every time I’m with these guys. No matter how big or small the crowd.
My head bangs with the beat while I sing better than I ever have. At least that’s how I feel. I’m lost in the rhythm, lost in the lyrics as my heart pounds like the drum Liam’s hammering behind me.
Being up here, doing this, is the rush that my soul craves. It’s like nothing else—it’s everything.
I’ve never really experienced stage fright.
I’m not a shy person, but it can be nerve-racking putting yourself out there like this.
It’s a good thing we’re fucking amazing.
But there were times when we first started out that we wondered if we’d made the right choice.
When only six people are showing up to your gigs, it’s torture to get out there and perform while they stare you down from two feet away.
Way worse than playing for hundreds or thousands.
Even with the highs and lows, nothing could make me quit this. Even if we were still playing shitty dive bars and basements for a handful of people.
I’m nothing without it.
This mic, these songs, my bandmates. It’s all I’ve got. I think I’ve got Ellie, too, now. The realization is enough to make my chest puff and my adrenaline kick up even higher. I’m on cloud nine right now.
Halfway through the set list, I pause, take a drink of water, then dump the rest over my head.
Ellie put us all in monkey suits, and I’m sweating my balls off.
I glance at the side of the stage where I know she’s standing.
She’s glowing under the golden lights, body covered in a short, strappy dress and her black leather jacket.
Her hair is in loose curls, and her lips are painted the same sexy shade of red as her dress. Her smile is wide and pointed at me.
Letting my eyes slowly drift from hers, I look at the crowd.
They’re all eagerly staring back at me, waiting for us to continue.
I step over and grab my mic from the stand.
“Thank you all for coming out for our final show!” Cheers ring out in response.
“As most of you know, it’s our first headlining tour, and we’re blown away by the love and support you all have shown us. ”
My gaze sweeps over the guys. Each of them is eyeing me curiously. Cautiously. I don’t blame them.
“Before we finish the rest of this set, I wanted to say something to the people that mean the most to me.” I stare at each of my bandmates, then let my eyes flick to Ellie.
A divot appears between her brows, worry in her green irises.
I give her a grin to let her know I’m not about to fuck something up that she’ll have to fix this time.
“Touring was harder than I expected. I loved every second of it.” Mostly.
“This is my dream, but fuck, it wasn’t easy.
” My attention doesn’t waver from Ellie.
I want her to know that I mean every word I’m about to say.
“I wouldn’t have made it without you. Thank you for having my back, even when I made it so damn difficult.
” Her throat bobs with a swallow as her bottom lip trembles slightly.
I give her a nod, then turn to my band. “Thanks for never giving up on me. I love each and every one of you assholes.” I toss a wink at Tanner.
He rolls his eyes, but I see the smirk he’s fighting.
I turn back to the crowd, who listen raptly, surprisingly not booing my sappy-ass speech. “Love you fuckers, too! Ok, who wants to hear another song?”
They scream, and with the stroke of Penn’s guitar, we get right back to it.
When the set wraps up, I take one last glance at our fans and smile. My chest expands, swelling so completely full as we slip off stage.
“We did it!” Liam yells. “Let’s fucking gooo!” He hops on my back, and I take off down the hall while we scream like idiots. I can’t wipe the dopey smile off my face, and for once, I don’t want to. I’m fucking elated.
Even Tanner is happy. I know because the usual frown line between his brows is gone.
Normally, I’d want a drink right about now to celebrate this win.
But unleashing this adrenaline on Ellie’s pussy sounds so much better.
Plus, I owe her one. After she sucked me senseless the other night, I wanted to return the favor.
Eat her pussy until she couldn’t move, but I passed out.
She was brushing her fingers over my face, and I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep until she woke me up the next morning and told me to get my ass to the bus before someone realized I was missing.
Down the hall, I watch her form disappear through our greenroom door.
I drop Liam so I can get to her quicker.
Voices from inside reach me, but I don’t have time to question them before I rush inside.
As soon as I push open the door, I freeze.
My eyes go wide, locking on my parents, who sit on the long velvet couch.
My muscles turn to stone. What the hell?
Liam crashes into me a moment later, jolting me back to reality.
“Hi, son,” my dad says, standing up. Penn shoves me farther into the room. That’s when I realize everyone is here. Olivia, Pacey, and Allison are on the other side of the room. Liam’s brother Seth is sitting in a chair. Even Katie is tucked away in the back corner.
“You guys did so fucking-freakin’ good!” Pacey squeals as Penn goes to greet his girls.
I’m still too stunned to move. My parents take the two steps over to me, and I blink, finally realizing it’s real. They’re here. My dad tugs me into a half-hug, and my mom pats my arm. “That was really something,” she says, the surprise evident in her tone.
“Great job out there,” Dad says.
I honestly can’t tell if he means it. He’s never said it before because he’s never watched me play. Aside from messing around when we were younger, they never came to an actual show. Not since Tanner and Liam joined the band. My music isn’t their cup of tea, my mother had said once.
But I should be.
I shake those thoughts away and clear my throat. “Uh, thank you.”
“You look nice, too,” Mom says, this time more believable. This is the only glimpse of “professional” me she’ll ever get.
“You came? I…how?” I sent them my tour schedule months ago, and the only response I got was a thumbs-up.
My mom’s gaze moves past me for a half second.
I turn, and that’s when I see Ellie, standing against the wall, chewing on one of her nails.
When my eyes land on hers, she jolts, looking away, trying to pretend she wasn’t just watching me.
All the pieces click. Her asking those questions about my parents a couple weeks ago. The mysterious phone call.
“We caught a red-eye last night. Your marketing manager was kind enough to fly us here and set us up in this cozy room so we could watch you perform.”