6| Psychology
"But uh, she just said it isn't taken," Liam said.
"Well, now I said it is," I shrugged. Emma cleared her throat, looking at me in confusion.
"But she just said I can sit there," he laughed humorlessly.
"And now I'm saying you can't." She cleared her throat again. We both turned to her.
"It wasn't me," she shook her head.
Then we both turned to the front of the class where our teacher, Mr. Joshua stood. "Any problem, gentlemen?" he asked.
"No, sir," I said, quickly sliding into the seat beside Emma's. The thing is, in this classroom, the seats are in pairs. Two people sit together. She gave Liam an apologetic smile while he went and found another seat.
"Hi," I nodded.
"That was unnecessary," she whispered.
"All right, yesterday I gave you guys a free lesson and only the syllabus.
Now, we don't need to follow that syllabus in order.
So, out of all the topics, you as a class can decide what we will study first. We'll vote.
" The top two things our class was interested in, psychologically, were the mind of a criminal and love.
And we even did a re-vote but it keeps coming down to a tie.
"How about we leave it up to our new student, Ms. Hayden?"
"Uh oh," she mumbled, "What?"
"The mind of a criminal or love? What would you like to study?" he asked.
"Sir, how is it fair for me to decide for the rest of the class? We should just um, uh..."
"What do you wanna study?" I whispered.
"Love, but-"
"She chose love," I said.
"Then love it shall be." Half the class groaned, the other half cheered. I voted for the mind of a criminal myself because love sucks.
"You're such an idiot, 50% of my psychology class hates me now," she groaned, putting her head down on the table.
"And 50% loves you," I scoffed, "Now focus."
"Okay, the definition of love, can anyone give it to me?" Plenty of hands went up. Plenty. But this bastard wants to choose me. "Mr. Sterling?" he smiled.
"Fuckface," I whispered to myself, "Um, I think love is uh, I don't- how do you explain that?" I shrugged.
"Ms. Hayden, you wanna give it a try?"
She hesitated, looking up from the textbook where she was reading about criminal minds.
What is this girl? She chose love!
"I think it's when you have an intense feeling of affection for someone," she shrugged.
"Correct, that is almost the exact definition..." he trailed off, starting class but I watched as she made notes on criminal minds.
"Have you done this before?" I whispered.
"What?" she asked, focused on her notes.
"Studied the psychology of love?"
"Yeah, it's the first thing we did back in Miami," she replied.
"Then why are you making the class do it now?"
"Cause I already know it, the test will be easier for me," she shrugged.
"And Mr. Sterling, the three components of love, which you should know if you were listening just a second ago?" he questioned.
Her knee hit mine under the table so I looked at her notebook where she wrote them down for me.
"Intimacy, passion, and commitment," I answered.
"Very well, keep listening please," he said, continuing the lecture. She chuckled, erasing the words.
"Thanks," I said, looking down at her.
She lifted her head, tucking her pencil behind her ear and listening in on the lecture, closing the textbook. "No problem," she whispered, turning to me with a smile.
"You're gonna study this again?" I asked.
"I'll study love over and over again, that's how much I love it," she said. After that, she zoned in on the class and took notes religiously. By the end of the class, I came to the conclusion that she was obsessed with understanding every nook and cranny of love. It's all she wants to do.
???????????????
"And to finish up the class quickly, Ms. Hayden, the five love languages according to popular belief?" he asked her as students packed up when the bell rang.
"Mr. Joshua, there are other students here," she laughed, "Acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch," she said, running out the door.
The whole class emptied out but I was still stuck to my seat.
She knows the answer to every bloody question about love.
"Mr. Sterling, do you intend to spend the day here in my classroom?"
I snapped out of and cleared my throat. She came running back in. "We've got business studies, you coming?" she laughed, "Forget it, come with Brandon!" she yelled before running back out.
"She just... how does she know all that?" I asked myself.
"She's studied this at her previous school. And Mr. Sterling, I don't get the whole boys will be boys thing, all right? So please, no fighting or arguing over sitting with Emma in my classroom, clear?"
"Crystal," I said before walking out, heading for business.
Unfortunately, our teacher, Mrs. Canon, yes, that's her name, was present. And she was the fucking Devil. "Oh, fuck that," I said, turning back around, heading for the back of the building.
"Skipping?" Brandon asked, catching up to me.
"Yup, answer on the roll call for me?" I asked.
This class has the most students so she has to take a roll call which is just her saying our name and someone saying 'here' in response. People cover for each other all the time. We're about 35 students in this class. But she's the only business studies teacher we've got.
"I was gonna skip too," he mumbled, looking around. "Hey, Liam. Answer on the roll call for us?" he asked, grabbing Liam's arm.
"For you? Fine, for him?" he glared at me.
"Whoa, bad blood huh?" Brandon asked. "Come on, forgive and forget," Brandon nodded.
"Fine," he sighed in defeat, going into the classroom.
I walked backward, eyeing Liam till he was out of sight. "What is it with him and Emma? Why is he after her so desperately? Even in psychology, he was trying to sit with her," I mumbled.
"What is it with you and Emma, my brother? Getting cozy?" he taunted.
"No," I glared at him, "She just... she knows about the accident. And I can't have her finding out who Chloe was. She doesn't know who was with me. If I'm friends with her, I'll know what she knows and I can control it," I shrugged.
"You're only becoming friends with her so she doesn't find out about Chloe?" Brandon scoffed.
"Partially but... she's nice. She's different."
"She's like Chloe, I bet that's all you're seeing." Brandon shook his head at me in disappointment.
"It's not," I said through gritted teeth as we sat down, both of us taking out cigarettes. He smokes on occasions. "This morning, in the first period, she saw right through me," I said, blowing out a puff of smoke.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"She read me front and back. Very clearly.
She knew I was guilty, sad, the description she wrote.
.. she was spot on, Brandon. It's weird, nobody gets me so quickly.
And the weirdest part is, when I was reading what she wrote about me, I didn't hate myself.
Not even for a split second," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, leaning my head back against the brick wall.
"Shit, what now?" he asked.
I shook my head slowly. "The last person that made me like me was her," I mumbled.
"But Emma makes you feel the same way?"
"No, man. I don't know Emma yet. And I shouldn't get to know her either. If I get stuck in this shit again, I won't be able to handle it."
"Everyone doesn't walk out on you, Nathan," he sighed, killing his cigarette, "People can like you."
I clicked my tongue, shaking my head, "I don't give them a reason to."
"Well, maybe you should. Try being friends with her. Genuinely," he shrugged.
"Let's just see how it goes. Cause she's fucking weird," I laughed, staring up at the clouds.
"Nathan?"
"What?" I turned to him.
"This is the first time you've genuinely laughed since..." he chuckled, "Oh, shit," he laughed.
"Fuck," I mumbled, smiling to myself. "I'm screwed," I laughed.
"You might be," he nodded.
"Now what do I do?" I asked.
"Go with the flow, my friend. Go with the flow. Just stop being a coward. It's been 2 fucking years, man."
"I know, I know, I know!" I groaned, "I just can't forget her."
"You don't have to. You just gotta move on. Time won't wait for you, buddy. Life will keep going, it'll keep moving. Move with it. Deal with it. We all die one day anyway," he shrugged.
"Why the fuck are you talking like you're high?" I asked.
"You're the one about to be high on love, mate," he laughed, smirking at me.
He definitely just smoked something other than a cigarette.
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