Chapter 18 #2
“No. You didn’t do anything, I promise. I actually really enjoyed my time with you, I just… I have a lot on my mind. I think maybe… maybe we should slow this down.” I suggested. “Or end it all together.”
“End it? W-where is this coming from, Jruelle?” he frowned. “If I did something, let me know what’s up so I can fix it. Don’t—”
“You didn’t do anything, Adonis.” I cut him off. “It’s just… what you want and what I’m able to give you doesn’t align, and before we mess up what we had as friends, I’d rather just end it now.”
“I’m so lost right now, love,” he confessed, taking a step closer to me. “What is it you think I want?”
“Tonight, when you saw that little girl and said, ‘our daughter’—you said it so easily,” my voice cracked. “Like it was a given, but it’s not. Not for me,” I whispered.
“What you mean? Why not?”
I looked up at him, wrapping my arms around my own body, hugging myself as tight as I could trying to get some kind of comfort before I began.
“I have endometriosis,” I admitted as the tears stung my eyes.
“It’s not just the bad cramps I’ve been telling you that I have.
It’s scarring, and pain, and surgeries, and doctors telling you that the chances of you having kids one day is almost zero.
I’ve lived with that for years.” I swiped away some of the tears that had escaped my eyes.
“I don’t talk about it because it makes me feel…
broken. And when you mentioned the future it just…
hit me. I want to be able to give you that one day, but I can’t.
Not without a fight that I might not win. ”
He took a step closer to me, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to finish what I’d started to tell him.
“I don’t want to drag you into something that is going to hurt or disappoint you down the line. If you want to have a family, you deserve to have one. I can’t be the one to ruin your dreams.”
He slowly reached for my hand, gently lowering it. “Jru…”
“I mean it,” I said lowly. “I’ve been living this nightmare for years—knowing that I won’t be able to have a child of my own, and every time I start to care about someone, I dread the day that I have to fess up and watch their face change when they learn my ugly truth. I can’t go through that again.”
“You think I’m gon’ bounce on you because of that?
” he gently lifted my head so my gaze met his.
“I didn’t fall in love with you for shit that you might, or might not, be able to give me one day, Jruelle.
I love you because of who you are and how you are right now, baby.
” He pulled me closer. “I don’t know shit about endo-whatever the fuck, but I’m gon’ learn about it.
And if it’s gon’ be a fight to get through the shit, then it’s gon’ be a fight that we face together.
If shit don’t end up the way we plan for it to, then fuck it.
It must not have been in the cards for us.
Me, you, and AP can get a puppy or some shit. ”
His words had so much conviction in them, and he looked like he really meant what he was saying, but like he said, he didn’t know what endometriosis was and what it meant for my future, so I shook my head and said, “you don’t know what you’re saying…”
“I know exactly what the fuck I’m saying, Jru,” he cut in softly.
“You ain’t alone with this shit. Not anymore.
Whatever has to be done to ease your pain when you’re hurting, or lift your spirits when you down, I got you.
” He pulled me into his embrace. “I got you, baby, aight?” He lifted my face so that I was looking at him again.
I nodded and hugged him closely. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I sniffled.
I’d loved Adonis for a long time, even while I was with Derrick.
I think he knew it too, which was why he despised Adonis so much.
I’d had to push my feelings to the back of my mind because, not only was I in a relationship, I was also dealing with a lot when I first learned my diagnosis, but after hearing him speak to me tonight, and promising to be there for me, I knew I didn’t have to ignore them anymore. I didn’t want to.
“Then quit trying to leave a nigga.” He smiled then leaned down to kiss me.
The kiss started slowly, but the pace picked up quickly turning into something very passionate. He walked me backward toward the couch before he turned us, lowering himself down and pulling me with him so that I was straddling his lap.
While continuing to kiss me, he started to unfasten my corset until my breast were spilling from it. He tossed it to the side before breaking the kiss and gently sucking on my nipples as he massaged my breasts in his hands.
After releasing my nipple, he started to suck on the space between my titties then kiss his way to my neck. He sucked on the sides and front before pulling back and looking up at me.
“You’re so perfect, Jru,” he said, still feeling me up as he stared into my eyes. “I want you so bad.” He kissed the top of my left breast. “Can I have you?”
I thought about it for a second, knowing that sometimes intercourse could be uncomfortable for me, but on the other hand I didn’t want to regret not finally trying with Adonis, so I nodded.
“Sometimes it hurts, so bear with me.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he lifted us from the couch and carried me to my bedroom where he gently laid me on the bed then worked my shorts and panties down my legs before tossing them to the side then undressing himself.
I’d seen Adonis shirtless plenty of times and even had the pleasure of laying eyes on the blessing between his legs once, but seeing him in all his glory at that moment had the heat coursing through my body intensifying.
I’d never seen a more perfectly sculpted man than the one standing in front of me.
He climbed between my legs trailing kisses across my stomach then down to my center where he pushed my legs back, giving him the perfect view of my pussy.
I waited with bated breath for him to make a move, and when he did, I lost it immediately.
It couldn’t have been the simple kiss that he’d placed on my lower lips.
It had to have just been the moment we were in; it was knowing that he was yearning for me and the things he’d said before this happened.
Adonis followed the kiss up with his tongue twirling around my clit.
He pushed my legs back a little further before he began to suck on it.
Releasing one of my legs, he circled my clit with the pad of his thumb while his tongue slithered down to my opening.
He circled it for a few seconds before plunging it inside of me and swirling it around.
“Mm, oh,” I moaned, holding onto the back of his head.
He released my legs, and I dropped them down to rest on his shoulders while he skillfully pulled orgasm number one from me. Slowly, he pushed two fingers inside of me while he continued to feast on me, quickly working out my second climax.
He worked my body only using his tongue and fingers, making me lose count of how many times I actually climaxed before he came up for air. Making his way up my body, he slipped his tongue into my mouth, kissing my hungrily.
I felt his hands between us, lining himself up at my opening then slowly pushing inside of me. I tensed up at the penetration, afraid that I’d ruin things by being overcome with pain.
“Relax, baby,” he said against my lips as he pushed further inside of me.
Once he was all the way inside, he just sat there, kissing me. I didn’t know if it was for me or him, but either way I appreciated it. I wasn’t hurting, but I surely needed time to adjust to his size.
He began to slowly move in and out of me seconds later, immediately drawing a low whimper from me as my nails sank into the back of his shoulders. He pressed his forehead against mine then shook his head.
“Jru,” he mumbled lowly, stroking in and out of me twice then stopping again. “This pussy… a nigga gon’ fuck around and end it early.” He chuckled then locked his gaze on mine. “You good?”
I nodded before leaning up to capture his lips and wrap my legs around his waist, encouraging him to continue.
He commenced with slow strokes at first, then eventually picked up the pace when I told him I was fine and not to hold back.
He felt good inside of me and I was eager for whatever he had in store for me.
He slipped one of his arms between his body and my leg, placing it on his shoulder, then pulled back some to hold the other out before he began to dive deeper inside of me. I quickly became undone feeling my release.
“Damn,” he mumbled before glancing down between us at the evidence of my orgasm then at me, smirking. “This pussy is lethal, baby.”
He lifted my other leg onto his shoulder before going deeper, pounding my center, as he leaned down sucking and kissing my lips.
He moved down to kiss and gently bite my chin then lowered to my neck.
His face nuzzled there before he began to suck hard, then soft, repeating the motions.
I was sure that I would be marked in those places when we were done.
“Oh my God,” I moaned squeezing my eyes shut.
“Shit,” he hissed, adjusting his shoulders so my legs fell to his sides. He pressed his body into mine, reaching to place my legs back around him, then circling his hips slowly. While he worked me, his mouth was right next to my ear. “Knew this pussy was going to be good. Damn.”
“I-I’m going to cum.” I cried feeling my next release making its way through me.
“Mhm.” He lifted a bit, making sure to maintain his pace as he fucked me through the orgasm.