Chapter 3 #3
How Pan must hate this monument to his usurper, the reminder of his end glittering eternally on the horizon of the kingdom he created.
It longs for me in a way it never will for you.
His words still cling inside my lungs like noxious fumes.
“I stay for a lot of reasons,” Sam says, drawing me from the spiral of my thoughts. “I have been to a hundred worlds, Willa…and this one is the only one that is home.”
His jaw tightens fractionally, his soft brown eyes flitting in a familiar direction—the one he stares out at every night: the Grove. “I stay because I will never again travel somewhere Adira isn’t.”
“Sam—” I begin, a flush creeping up my cheeks.
He shakes his head with a sad smile. “It’s okay. I know the secrets of my heart are safe with you.” He hugs me tighter, the lump forming in my throat choking off any response I could concieve. “I stay because I love Niko, and it’s what he would want.”
Fresh tears spring to my eyes, and I want to scream at the uselessness of them. Tears do not bring people back. Tears do not fix anything.
“I see what he saw in you. A ruthless heart that will do anything to protect what she cares about. So most importantly, I stay for you, Willa. Despite what you think, you do not ruin everything you touch. You have brought the island back to life and the mainland beyond it. It has been an honor to stand by your side as you do it.”
I shake my head, wiping furiously at my eyes.
“You shouldn’t see that as something it’s not, Sam.
I didn’t do any of that to be selfless or heroic.
I only anchored myself to the island to save Niko the pain.
I wanted to stay with him, and I…I wanted to be powerful—powerful enough to never let anyone hurt either of us again. ”
“You don’t think sacrificing your freedom for eternity to spare the man you love pain is heroic? Or selfless?” The corner of Sam’s mouth twitches. “Someday, Willa, you’ll learn to see yourself as your kingdom sees you.”
I don’t think I want to know how the people see me. I am their savior who brought back the sun and raised their loved ones from the dead, and I am the usurper who banished their cherished king. Both bring me equal amounts of dread.
A siren begins to sing in the distance, and my dread becomes a physical thing. The songs have been dreamy and hopeful lately, but this one is different: it feels ominous. A foretelling of things to come.
“What did the Aeternalis say about Niko?” Sam asks gently.
The harrowing melody digs into my bones, drawing me upward. Only Sam’s arm around me keeps me anchored in place.
“He said something about the ninth circle of hell.” I worry my bottom lip savagely between my teeth. “And how—how Niko’s fate was befitting of treachery.”
Sam makes a humming noise, mulling over the information. “So he didn’t explicitly say he killed Niko?”
I hesitate. “Well, no, but…he knew things he shouldn’t have. Things Niko would have never told him, unless…”
I can’t finish the sentence. Not without the shadows seizing me once more; not without stalking back down to the beach and pulling the Aeternalis’ organs through that gaping hole in his chest.
Even that would not be enough to soothe the grief writhing inside me.
Sam considers me for a moment. “The Aeternalis has always been intentional with his words. He’s a born storyteller. He revels in double meanings and clever trickery. It’s another method of control to him. Another means of amusement.”
“I don’t know that there’s a double meaning to this, Sam. He seemed confident that Niko isn’t coming back. And he—he had his pistol.”
Sam’s power unspools from him, brushing over me in a soft wave. “I know stories were rare growing up on the mainland. Have you heard Dante’s Inferno?”
“Not in its entirety.”
A flush heats my cheeks, because the truth is everything I know of the ancient story comes from Niko’s skin.
How many times had I traced the delicate words flowing along his left ribs with my fingers?
How many times had I traced them with my tongue, not watching the words at all, but the way the poised king came untethered at my every touch?
The corner of Sam’s mouth lifts in a knowing smile, but thankfully, he leaves it alone. “The Divine Comedy says the ninth circle of hell is a lake of ice where all the worst betrayers and mutineers are trapped for eternity. Perhaps Niko is just as trapped, somewhere among the stars and wards.”
The sentiment is not as comforting as it should be. Niko already spent so long trapped in Letum, shouldering the burden of the universe. That he would end up trapped again after everything is nearly as unbearable as his death.
“And what if he’s not, Sam?” I bite out, hating that even now, I cannot find softness. “What if he’s truly gone?”
When Sam faces me, there is none of the grief or regret I expect. His strong jaw is set, his eyes filled with unwavering determination.
“Then we be the people Niko knew us to be, and we protect what mattered enough for him to give his life for. There will be no one coming to save us from the Aeternalis, Willa. It is up to us, and us alone.”