Chapter 40
Chapter forty
Niko summons a Lunaedon carriage, and it arrives in no time, like it has been lying in wait for his call.
When we roll to a stop at its steps, I take in the beautiful lace-like stonework, the inlaid windows, the spiraling turrets with newfound appreciation.
I’ve come so far since I first laid eyes on the towering palace—been shredded apart and restitched as something new—but it still takes my breath away.
I hope that never changes. I’ve seen time steal so many things with its current of monotony and indifference.
The beauty of Letum—of Niko—had been the first seed of change in my heart.
I don’t ever want to forget what it felt like to be truly awake for the first time.
I don’t want to ever forget what we fight for, and why it matters.
Tiernan and Marina are both outside waiting for us: Tiernan slumped against the front doors, and Marina pacing restlessly in front of him.
The moment the carriage stops, they burst into movement, careening down the stairs toward us.
They stop short with the same comically aghast look on their faces, taking in our appearance with downright horror.
After the events of the past few days, we’re both a mess, reeking of seawater and smoke.
I grasp at the singed cloak to keep it from falling open to reveal my nakedness beneath, my hair half-dried and hanging in bedraggled tangles down my back.
Niko doesn’t look much better in the remaining tatters of his sweats, his pale skin streaked with sand and soot.
Marina’s hands move in a blur. We saw the Indomnitus sink. What happened? Are you both okay?
Niko nods wearily beneath her assessment. Aside from a small laceration above his brow, he appears mostly unharmed. His pain is deeper, buried in the make of his body along with his magic.
“It was the Aeternalis. Recompense for the humiliation he suffered when I took back my ship, I’m sure.”
Tiernan and Marina exchange a look that does not go unnoticed by their king. Niko’s gaze darkens. “Out with it,” he barks.
We canvassed as much of the Hollows as we could with the help of the pixies, and…Her fingers hang in midair, her mouth going tight.
“And what?” Niko bites out, as his death lashes around his wrists.
The Aeternalis wasn’t just there for Willa on Dreaming’s Eve. In the chaos, he stole some of the morphellia dust.
“Some?” I ask, the events of the night replaying themselves before my eyes, even as I try to blink away their horrors.
“Most,” Tiernan admits gravely.
Niko swears, clenching his fists at his sides.
“What does this mean?” I ask, already dreading the answer.
I was so caught up in my own shame, I wasn’t able to see Pan’s intentions clearly.
It was foolish to take his threats at face value, when all the stories speak of his cleverness, of his plans layered beneath plans, and the joy he takes in tricks.
“It means,” Niko grits out, “that when he returns, he will not be alone. He is rebuilding the Strayed, and strengthening himself with their magic. And he will no longer have to guide them through one at a time.”
I shudder, remembering the feel of Zenni’s magic—euphoric and terrible.
“I thought it took years for him to siphon a powerful child’s magic.”
It’s Marina who answers. When his supply was endless and he was nearly always full, he sipped. But starved as he’s been…there is no telling how quickly he will drain them.
Zenni’s wry smile flashes through my mind along with ice cold rage. I will find a way to tear the Aeternalis apart for what he’s done, even if I cannot kill him. I am well-learned in all the ways to make a person wish they were dead, and I intend to use every bit of my knowledge.
A similar fury is mirrored in Tiernan’s expression. “We’ll be ready for him,” he growls. “We’ll make him pay for everything he’s stolen. Everything he’s done.”
Niko gives him a weak smile, his exhaustion apparent in every slumped line of his body. “I’m afraid I’m not quite up to vengeance this evening, but I appreciate your fervor.”
Tiernan nods. “I’ll bring some food to your chambers.”
“To our chambers,” Niko corrects gently despite his apparent weariness, and my heart swells in my chest.
Tiernan wiggles his brows, sighing dramatically. “Nothing like a couple of slit throats here and there to bring lovers together.”
Mine was a slit throat. I’d call Adira’s more of an impaling, Marina adds unhelpfully.
I glare at them both, muttering, “I need to find friends that aren’t so well-armed.”
Marina’s face scrunches in disgust. How boring.
Niko’s hand spasms in mine, and I know he needs to rest before we can begin to untangle the mess of the kingdom. There’s so much to sort out, but beyond my worry for the island and my magic, lies a far more intimate one.
“How is Sam?”
Tiernan gives me a reassuring smile. “He’s okay. He’s recovering at the Grove, probably enjoying every moment of Adira fussing over him.” He cocks his head thoughtfully. “Like I said…nothing like a little violence to really make love bloom.”
I swallow. “But he’s really okay?”
Tiernan squeezes my shoulder. “He’s okay, Willa. I promise. I’ll take you to see him in the morning if you wish, but right now, you should get some rest.”
I release a breath in an attempt to release my guilt with it, repeating Niko’s words in my head: That darkness is not yours, Darling…and those deaths are not yours to claim.
With a nod to Tiernan and Marina, Niko wraps his arm around me, and steers me into the entrance hall.
The lantern lights along the walls sputter and leap wildly, as if in celebration of their king’s return.
And though Niko doesn’t appear to notice through the haze of his exhaustion, I swear the entirety of the Lunaedon stand at attention to welcome him home.
Starlight shimmers through the windows, scattering across the marble floors. A similar light is mirrored in my chest, warming me thoroughly as we begin up the stairs together. It feels like both a beginning and an end, somehow.
I glance at Niko, studying the stiffness of his movements. Each step is ginger, like he walks over shards of glass. His ribbons drape behind him, trailing along the floor like the train of an odd ballgown. Worry grips my chest.
“Should I try and use my magic?”
I haven’t since the night I hurt Sam, lest I somehow lose control to the shadow once more. Something that will need to be addressed after we recover, for how am I ever to hold onto the island when I cannot access its magic without it taking even more of myself?
“You aren’t sacrificing a slice of your humanity just to save me from walking up the stairs,” Niko bites out acerbically. “I’m fine.”
Annoyance prickles at my skin, and I nearly laugh at the swift feeling of warmth that follows.
No one ever challenges me like Niko does, especially as queen.
I’ve missed his smart ass mouth, his arrogant rancor.
The way he pokes and prods until he finds the pieces of me no one else is brave enough to touch.
“You don’t look fine, Corpsey,” I muse. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say you look like shit.”
Niko takes another shaky step, shooting me a sidelong glare. “Well, now you’re just being purposely spiteful, because we both know I always look devilishly handsome, no matter the state of my magic.”
“Niko—”
He pauses at the concern in my voice, turning to me with gentle patience. “This is the life I choose, and the pain is the price I pay to keep it. You cannot protect me from the cost, Willa, no matter how you may wish to.”
I bite my lip and nod. I made the mistake once, in both arrogance and love, in trying to spare him the agony. We’d both paid dearly for it. Just as he’s given me the agency to choose, I must do the same.
“You’re right, I’m sorry.”
His eyes flare, and he throws a dramatic hand over his heart. “I must be in worse condition than I thought and am now having fits of hallucinations. Did you just say ‘I’m right’ and ‘you’re sorry’?”
“Yes,” I admit through gritted teeth.
“Could you say it again?” he goads to my infernal irritation. I whack him in the arm, eliciting a deep grunt. “By the star, we need to work on your bedside manner. Attacking an ailing patient is certainly frowned upon.”
I loop my elbow through his with a cheeky smile. “Hmm…I think my bedside manner is one of my best skills.”
Niko lets out a hoarse laugh, the sound sparkling through my veins like a strong liquor. I’ve nearly forgotten what it feels like to give him a moment of lightness in the midst of his agony. Both an intimate victory, and a secret addiction.
“In that, we’re in agreement, Darling…I believe a little of your generous spirit is exactly what the doctor ordered. Just give me a week or two to make it up these stairs.”
I give him a weak smile, as his hands spasm again at his sides. I take them in mine before he can hide them away. “I respect your choice, Niko. I just love you enough to wish you didn’t have to make it. That you didn’t have to suffer in order to stay with me.”
He brushes back a lock of matted hair from my face, running his fingers lightly to cup my jaw.
“There is no pleasure without pain. You have always understood that better than most. Without immense suffering, we could not appreciate immense beauty. Look at what you sacrifice to hold the land of dreams. And you would not give it back to spare yourself the destruction…not when it would mean denying yourself of the wonder.”
I press my lips together, whether to hold in a laugh or a sob at the way his words strip me, I’m not even sure. “I’m not giving you another ‘you’re right’. Twice in five minutes would go straight to your head, and it’s already big enough.”
Niko grins, and together, we begin again up the stairs. I duck beneath his arm to shoulder some of his weight. His nostrils flare in a fury that dissipates the moment he notices my icy stare.
“I said I respect your choice. I did not say that I was going to sit on my ass and let you bear it alone.” I raise my chin, bracing for his resistance. Niko has never liked appearing weak; never allowed anyone else to share in his burdens.
“It’d be lovely if you could take a bit of your own advice,” he mutters, before relinquishing with a sigh and leaning into me.
“That’s an argument for another day.”
His gaze sparks in interest. “I can hardly wait.”
Together, we work our way up to our chambers. A fire burns in the hearth and a hot feast is spread over the coffee table. Perhaps it wasn’t only the Lunaedon waiting to welcome Niko home, but the family he built within its walls.
We bathe, and eat our fill curled together atop our bed.
I tell him everything he missed while he was away—from my days buried beneath the earth with ghosts of the Strayed to the times spent in the company of our friends.
He whispers to me of his time on the mainland, his voice as lovely as any song he plays on the piano.
And despite the horrors that await us both outside the palace walls, and inside our own souls, I find myself drifting off to the sweet sonance of Niko’s words.
“Dream sweetly, my darling,” he whispers, his death curling over us as he tucks me safely into his arms, “for tomorrow…we will need your nightmares.”