Chapter 14
VINCULA
Caius threw back his comforter as pain consumed him. Seeing her was bittersweet, but she was questioning things, meaning her memories were trying to return.
Every night he fought the urge to tell her, and he was second-guessing his decision not to. If he told her, could he convince her to stay hidden from Gedeon until he found a way out?
He didn’t know. It should be impossible for Gedeon to know about her, and for all intents and purposes, Gedeon should think Caius was released.
Lenora’s warning could not be ignored, but how would Gedeon find out? Could her friends really be trusted?
Padding across the room to the bathroom, he splashed water on his face.
When he looked in the mirror, flashes of Rory assaulted him.
Her cleaning his toilet while glaring daggers over her shoulder; the way she stubbornly refused his help bathing, despite needing it; seeing her curled on the floor, drowning in her grief.
His pain morphed into anger toward his brother and himself. A guttural cry tore from his throat, and shadows erupted around him, destroying the room. Bits of porcelain from the tub rained down, along with glass from the shower and mirror. He stared at his hands.
The veins turned black, creeping up his arms like roots.
He lifted his hand and flexed his fingers, enthralled with his skin.
This wasn’t like the day the two men attacked Rory.
The shadows had crawled over his skin then, creating the same illusion, but this time, they flowed through him like venom.
As he calmed down, the black receded, and he questioned if it had been there at all.
Bits of glass crunched under his bare feet as he walked into the bedroom without flinching.
He welcomed the pain.
Caius stalked through the halls of his palace, looking for Lauren. She didn’t report to his office that morning, and he hoped she was still in her room.
Once outside her door, he lifted his hand to knock, but it swung open. Lauren’s mouth quirked to the side. “Eager to hear about Rory, are we?”
Caius stepped aside, allowing her to exit her room and follow him to his office. “How is she?”
“You don’t know?” the Angel asked. “I know you’ve seen her in the soulscape.”
He came to a full stop. “She talks about me?” Could Lauren hear the galloping in his chest?
“She’s asking questions.” Lauren said, lowering her voice. “Did you tell her something, or is she remembering?”
“You tell me,” he replied, walking with her toward his office. “She said you told her there was someone in Vincula she mistook for Bane.”
The Angel’s short legs kept pace with his long ones, and she side-eyed him as they walked. “I don’t enjoy lying to her, and she asked me directly if Bane was in Vincula.”
Shadows started snaking across the walls as Caius’ agitation grew. What if telling her things puts her in danger? “You should have said nothing at all. I didn’t say you needed to lie.”
Lauren flicked her black and white hair behind her shoulder. “I told her nothing of importance. Do you want her hating you in the soulscape?”
He remained quiet.
“That’s what I thought.” Once inside his office, she turned to him with a tight, sympathetic smile. “It’s okay to let yourself be happy, if only in the soulscape. You’re spending time with her almost every night, and as far as she knows, they’re only dreams.”
“I think she’s remembering,” he admitted.
“Then let us tell her everything,” Lauren pressed. “It will be easier to keep her safe if she knows the truth.”
Caius laughed bitterly. “She doesn’t have her memories, and if she doesn’t think we’re lying, she won’t understand the gravity of the situation because she doesn’t remember.
It won’t make her love me, and it won’t make her jump back into the life she had with us.
” His words were thick. “Telling her will only put her in danger because she will go to Gedeon.”
Lauren closed her eyes, and Caius wondered if she was counting to ten. Controlling her temper was not her forte. “You don’t know that,” the Angel said, emphasizing each word. “It’s not fair to assume how she’ll react. She is smarter than you are giving her credit for.”
Caius clenched his teeth, fighting not to spew words he couldn’t take back. His grievance wasn’t with Lauren, and she didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his anger. He was pissed at himself because he didn’t know if his decisions were keeping her safe or putting her in more danger.
“Nothing you’ve done has made sense, Caius,” Lauren said, and his restraint snapped.
“Nothing about love makes sense,” he thundered, making the shadows go in every direction.
“Nothing. I did what I thought was best, and I know now I fucked up. Do you think I didn’t know the moment I saw Lenora’s name on that contract?
” He fisted his hair, and Lauren’s eyes widened as she watched him fall apart.
“I don’t know what to do. What if my decision is the one that sends her straight to Gedeon? ”
“I think you should sit,” Lauren said carefully, focusing on his hands. “Calm down.”
His body ignited with fury; or maybe it was grief, pain, sadness, or all four.
He couldn’t tell the difference anymore and was losing his sense of self.
“I will not calm down when my other half is in danger. Every second I’m awake, I’m consumed with her, and I can’t see her, go to her, protect her, and it’s no one’s fault but mine. Don’t tell me to fucking calm down.”
“Caius,” Lauren shouted above the sound of the shadows crashing around them. “Something is happening, and you need to calm down.”
Her eyes focused on his hands, and when he saw the black veins covering his skin, he cursed and forced himself to control his emotions.
Fresh air dragged into his lungs and cleared the red haze around his mind. The sound of things crashing to the ground filled the room, and he opened his eyes to a familiar disaster. Anything not bolted down lay on the floor, most of it broken.
Lauren still stared at his hands, and they watched as the black veins slowly receded.
She stepped forward and grabbed his hand to examine it. “The last time that happened, you ripped a man’s jaw off.”
“I was angry,” he replied, extracting his hand from hers. It was different this time, but she didn’t need to know that. Hopefully, whatever Kit found would explain how the Royals’ powers worked.
“Don’t tell Rory anything,” he said, getting their conversation back on track.
“I’ll test the waters in our soulscapes.
It can be written off as a dream if needed.
” He sat down in one of the unbroken chairs, feeling defeated.
Sending her to Erdikoa had been a mistake, and no matter how he tried to justify his actions, he’d been wrong. What if he was wrong now?
“If she regains her memories, do you think she would do the smart thing and lie low?” he asked Lauren, looking up.
She perched on the edge of his empty desk with a wry expression. “You know it’s impossible for her to gain her memories back.”
“It might not be,” he argued. “As my Aeternum, she is Seraphim blessed.”
His head rested in his hands as he mulled over every plausible scenario. Eventually, he came to a decision and prayed it was the right one. “I’ll try to jog her memory in the soulscapes, and in the meantime, I will ask Kit to add memory recovery to her research list.”
If looks could call you an idiot, Caius would be thoroughly offended by Lauren’s. “First, you demand I tell her nothing,” she recounted acrimoniously. “Now, you want to tell her in the soulscape to bring her memories back? You’re giving me whiplash.”
He was mentally exhausted. “Have you never battled internally? Thought you did the right thing, stuck to your decision, then realized you might be wrong?”
“I’m always right,” she quipped and jumped off the desk. “I need to show Lenora and Rory’s friends something, and when I return, you can tell me your thought process. We’ll work it out.”
“Can you bring Lenora here when you’re done?” he asked before adding, “Why do you need to see her?”
Lauren pulled her phone from her pocket, laughing. “I scared Rory and recorded it.”
“There’s no service here,” he reminded her. He’d never owned a cell phone because there was no service in Vincula. What would be the point?
“It doesn’t need service to play a recorded video.” She pointed at the small device and pushed a button. “It only needs to power on.”
There was enough of his essence in his office to power up the small phone, and once the display was illuminated, he held his hand out. “You weren’t going to show me?” he asked, masking his hurt.
Lauren placed the phone in his hand but shook her head. “You see her every night.”
He pushed a button, and the screen went off. Pressing it again did nothing, and he frowned, flipping it over in search of another button. There were different ones on the sides and one on the front.
No matter what button he pushed, nothing happened. “I think it’s broken.”
Lauren was quiet, and when he looked up, her face was split with the biggest shit-eating grin he’d ever seen. “You shut it down. Hold down the button on the bottom for three seconds to power it back on.”
He followed her instructions, and once the screen lit up, he looked at her expectantly.
“Tap the icon that looks like a painting.”
While searching the screen, he kept tapping on different things by accident. “Why do you have so many files on here?”
She snickered, and he ignored her as he continued to look for the painting. He pushed another button, and his face filled the screen, startling him. Lauren roared with laughter.
“Forget it,” he muttered and dropped the phone on his desk.