Chapter 8
Chapter eight
A Choice
When I wake, Caius is gone. Bat is curled up in his place, holding the heat where the captain had been. I turn over and scoop the cat against my chest, nuzzling into his soft fur.
“I can’t believe you did that. He’s our nemesis, you know?”
Bat cocks his head to the side and gives me his goofy look, the one where he pulls back his lips just enough to expose a tooth. I chuckle at what I have decided is Bat’s version of a smile.
“How can I stay mad at you?” I tousle his fur one last time and move to the window.
“Shit.” The glow moss has already transitioned.
It’s well into first shift, and I see Caius’ dark hulking frame standing by the cavern entrance, propped up against the statue of Ilunahēi'àn. My neighbors take a wide berth on their way to their shifts, certain to stay clear of the captain. I can tell just by the way his arms are folded over his chest that he’s in a mood.
I dress quickly and stumble across the cavern as I pull on my boots and tie my tangled hair back in a messy bun.
“Sorry,” I huff out as I stand before Caius.
He stands as still as stone, letting his eyes trace over my rumpled tunic and untied boot laces. He raises a dark brow but keeps his mouth shut. Then he unslings a water canteen and hands it to me.
I accept the peace offering. I’m parched and immediately unscrew the cap. The scent hits me before I have even pressed the canteen to my lips. My skin prickles, eyes jumping to Caius, who is watching me intently, studying me. But right now, I don’t care because Caius Amarala brought me coffee.
I take a long, slow sip, savoring the bitter bouquet.
It’s a new blend, rich notes of chocolate and hazelnut with just a splash of cream, exactly the way I like it.
What had I expected? Caius always gets my food order right at the commissary.
I give him the same look he’s giving me.
The one that attempts to peel back the layers of flesh and bone to expose the soul.
Caius clears his throat and finally lets his arms fall to his sides. “Did you want to bathe before we start?”
I blink back my shock. Not only is Caius not berating me for my tardiness, he’s offering to make another detour? “What’s going on?” I ask.
Caius shrugs. “You are usually wet when we meet. I figured you might want to—”
“No, Caius, why are you being nice to me?”
The muscle in Caius’ jaw feathers as he forces out a breath. “I am trying to apologize. I shouldn’t have come here last night. It won’t happen again.”
My heart falls, and I’m angry with myself that I’m disappointed by his declaration. Did I want Captain Amarala to come to my bed again? No, certainly not. But the man in my room last night wasn’t the captain of the Bǎodela guard, was he? He was just Caius and—that line of thought was dangerous.
“Good.” I say, capping my canteen and beginning our walk down the tunnels.
Caius falls in step with me. “Did you want to—”
“I’m fine. Can we just get to work?” I snap. This version of Caius is unnerving.
“Very well.”
We walk in silence until we come to our work site for the day. The hub that distributes water to the gardens. The gardens where Dom is waiting for an answer.
“Do you have an answer for him?” Caius asks, as if reading my mind.
“That’s none of your business.” I snap and begin to set up my climbing gear. This section of the aqua structure takes up the entire cavern wall and will require scaling and traversing the rock faces for inspection.
“My mistake.” Caius may sound cowed, but I can see his half-grin from the corner of my eye.
I anchor in and climb without another word.
First shift bleeds away, our mid-meal taken in the cavern, and soon I will be free of Caius’ presence for a blissful second shift.
Here, suspended in the air, I can almost imagine I’m climbing my favorite canyon instead of working inside a trap designed by the council.
The thought brings my mind back to Dom’s proposal.
What am I going to tell him? My gaze darts to the cavern entrance, as if my thoughts might summon Dom.
But instead, I see a slight redhead slinking along the cavern wall.
She has her hood pulled up, but bright red curls tumble out around the edges.
I sit back in my harness and watch as she places each footfall ever so carefully, and as I trace her route, I’m nearly certain the captain is her target.
Just as she crouches low to pounce, Caius moves in a blur of dark shadow.
He ducks low, sweeps her leg, then pins her to the ground with his dagger at her neck.
I descend quickly, but by the time I reach the pair, Caius is pulling the young woman to her feet.
“You’ll have to do better than that if you want to get the jump on me, Cress.” Caius chuckles.
The young woman’s hood falls back to reveal pale white skin dusted with freckles over a petite nose, pale blue eyes and fiery red hair.
Cressida Amarala. Caius’ sister. The difference between the two of them is night and day.
Where Cressida is pale as moonlight with flame-bright hair, Caius is burnished bronze with dark wild locks that rival the shadows.
A stark reminder that while they share a family name, they do not share a mother.
Cressida’s mother took the place of Caius’ when she passed from The Below, her soul released to sky, and her bones returned to stone.
“What do you need, Cress?” Caius asks, eyeing his little sister suspiciously.
Cressida kicks at the ground and swaggers lazily around her brother as she shrugs. “Who says I need something?”
Caius crosses his arms and gives her that look I know all too well. I snort, amused that it’s someone else that has earned Caius’ ire. The Amaralas both glare at me before Caius dismisses me with a shake of his head.
It doesn’t take long for Cressida to break under his stare. She inhales deeply, aiming to rush all of her words out in one breath. “Enlistment opens today, and I thought—”
“No,” Caius cuts her off.
“Caius.” Cressida clutches at his arm, and I’m surprised that instead of trying to shrug her off, he stands stone still.
“The answer is no. Just as the answer last year was no, and the year before that. Just as the answer will be no until I take my last breath.” His voice is low, and I feel as if I’m intruding on an intimate moment not meant for me.
I ease back toward my toolbox and the remnants of my coffee.
The canteen is nearly to my lips when Caius calls out for me.
“It’s time for the last meal,” he barks.
Whatever quiet truce there had been between us after last night evaporates.
I sigh and recap my coffee. There is no use arguing with him when he’s like this.
Most days, Caius is quiet, calculating, simply watching over me, the cogs turning in his pale eyes plain to see.
But then there are days like today, when his temper is short, and his words are sharp.
Caius storms out of the cavern, setting a pace with his long legs that forces both Cressida and me to jog to keep up.
“You joined the guard at fourteen,” Cressida protests.
My heart stops, and I fall back a step. The day Caius joined the guard was the day after my father’s execution.
Caius growls. “And thanks to my service, you never will.”
“I want to fight,” Cressida says.
“We don’t always get what we want,” Caius responds.
“I will go to father—”
Caius whirls to face his sister, standing a full head and a half taller than the slight woman. Though his large frame casts her in shadow, she stands proud with her shoulders pulled back.
“You do not want this life. You are meant for more. Now stop embarrassing yourself and drop it.”
Cressida locks eyes with her brother, then her gaze travels over him. Her posture relaxes, and I try to see what she sees but all I see is Captain Amarala, ruthless and lethal.
“Fine,” Cressida whispers.
Caius continues on toward the commissary, but Cressida hangs back. As I pass her, she calls out. “You will write about the exchange program again?”
Caius grunts, but it must be enough of an answer for her because a smile spreads across her lips.
She turns to me and whispers conspiratorially, “I don’t actually want to be some grunt under my brother. Scholars are the ones who hold true power, you know.”
I furrow my brow, trying to understand why she’s sharing this with me.
She taps me between the eyes. “Sometimes with Caius, it’s best if you get him to come to his own conclusions.
If he doesn’t want me in the guard, the least he can do is write to Suade about the exchange program again.
Then we both get what we want.” Her grin turns sharp, then she turns and disappears down a side tunnel.
A chill runs through my bones. At six rotations younger than Caius, Cressida and I were never close, but now I remember that her mother was a scholar from Suade, our neighbor to the South, sent to arrange peace talks, who ended up claiming a seat of power for herself beside Nero.
I now wonder if I may have underestimated the girl.
When we get to the commissary, I slip into a table at the back.
Caius always picks out our food anyway, and he’s never wrong.
Unfortunately, Dom spots me the second he walks into the busy mess hall.
I try ducking behind my hands, but it’s a feeble attempt at best. I love Dom like a brother, but I’m not ready for this conversation.
Please, I beg each of the gods of the pantheon as he weaves through the crowd to reach my table.
Please, please, please, I will build a kuàngnirea shrine to whichever one of you can save me from this conversation.
Dom slides into a seat across from me.