Mice And Men at it Again
“RESTORING THE EMPEROR to the throne is a fine goal, but to make it happen, we need a plan. A real plan,” Archduke Darius said.
“And someplace to plan it,” the princess added.
I looked at Princess Marie in astonishment, then met Archduke Darius’s eyes before surveying the princess’s apartment with an appraising eye.
“No,” Marie said firmly.
“This place is pretty spacious. I’m certain the ringleaders would fit in here,” I commented.
“No!”
“The color’s very soothing,” Archduke Darius argued.
“No. Captain Boylan is a fugitive, and I am one of his most visible allies. The Empire’s already watching me. They’ll be certain to notice a parade of malcontents marching through my doors.” Princess Marie practically stamped her foot.
“She’s right,” I said. “Besides, the Empire will come looking for me before long. We need somewhere safe.”
Darius raised his hand. “What if I told you I had a place we could meet and plan without any fear of Imperial entanglements?”
“I’d say we should retire there posthaste. What are we waiting for?” I answered.
With a grimace, Darius said, “Because getting there is going to be a problem. I have a cruiser in orbit, the Royal Darius.”
“You named your cruiser after yourself?” Princess Marie asked, halfway between amusement and scorn at the archduke’s hubris.
Darius shuffled. “I wanted to call it the Lion, but it’s tradition to name an heir’s ship after themself.” He quickly changed the topic. “Ordinarily, I’d portal up, but…”
“… but my presence complicates things,” I said, and Darius nodded, confirming it. “Well, all right. How do we get me through a portal a second time? Or, does your ship have a Lightbridge array?”
“If I was wealthy enough for a private Lightbridge array, I could have bought the League instead of having to conquer it.” Darius thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “We’ll need a disguise, obviously.”
“Something with a face-obscuring helmet?” I suggested.
Darius shook his head. “Too obvious. They’ll be expecting that. I was thinking you go in drag.”
I straightened. “And how are we going to do that?” I asked, gesturing to my lanky, soft-bellied, masculine frame.
“You’ll have to shave. Don some makeup.”
“I’m more worried about the clothes,” I commented. “I doubt I’ll be able to fit into any of her outfits.”
In unison, Darius and I looked at Princess Marie, who was a good fifteen centimeters shorter than me and maybe half my weight. She gave a sigh of great resignation.
“You men always make things more difficult than they need to be.” Walking over to her personal computer, she pressed a key. “Colonel? Could you send my shuttle around to my balcony right away?”
“Very good, Your Highness,” a proper voice said on the other end of the line. “Will you require a pilot?”
“No, thank you. I’d prefer to make this a private trip,” the princess said. That accomplished, Marie stepped back, folded her arms, and gave us a withering glare.
Darius lamely tried to recover his pride. “Yes, or… or we could do that.”
Minutes later, a sleek chrome-plated shuttle quietly landed on the balcony outside.
The doors popped open and Darius, Marie, Tilly, and I quickly boarded.
There was no one else aboard, but Marie expertly took the shuttle’s controls, and after receiving the coordinates from Darius, she took off, rocketing us up out of the atmosphere.
I barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief before we were intercepted by Imperials.
The dark, angular vessels took up position on either flank, gimballed heavy lancers swiveling to skewer us with their pyromagnetic blasts.
Darius pushed me down, and I went. Princess Marie pointed to a small cabinet, inside which I found a fine warm blanket.
Hurriedly, I draped it over Tilly and myself.
“Can they see us?” Darius asked.
Princess Marie shook her head. “The canopy’s polarized, but there’s no sense in taking chances.”
I agreed with Marie’s assessment. For her part, Tilly remained perfectly silent. She knew how to keep out of sight. I peeked out through a tiny slit in the blanket.
The radio buzzed to life. “Stelsylvanian shuttle, state your cargo and destination or be fired upon.”
Marie reached for the comms button, but Darius stopped her, then pressed it himself. “This is Archduke Darius of Yezhidia. I have commandeered this shuttle for a personal errand to the Royal Darius.”
A voice came over the comms, the disdain dripping from every syllable.
“Listen, you borderland whelp. You may have been the previous Emperor’s pet, but now—” The transmission suddenly cut off, leaving nothing but comms static.
I could practically see the debate on the Imperial shuttles.
What was Darius’s position in the new order?
Was he a valuable ally whose nation had provided crucial military assistance during the past war, or an expendable vassal to be abused for fun?
Did they know? Could they afford to find out?
I knew the response before the radio crackled back to life. Better to play it safe, and abuse later. Meanwhile, treat the archduke with due respect, and dress him down later if required.
A different voice spoke. “My pardon, Archduke. We’re inspecting all craft leaving the planet, especially in the vicinity of the palace.”
Darius pressed the comms button again, injecting a light note of annoyance into his voice. “What for? I’ve made a half-dozen trips to my cruiser before, and I never had to deal with inspectors then.”
“There wasn’t a fugitive on the loose before,” the new Imperial replied. “We’re worried he may try to stow away aboard any departing vessels.”
The archduke replied testily, “This shuttle’s rather intimate. I assure you, we would notice if he were in here with us, and considering we just hit eighty thousand meters, if he were clinging to the outside, I think he’d be turning an amusing shade of blue right about now.”
There was a brief pause, and then the more respectful Imperial pilot said, “I’m certain he would, but we have orders to board and inspect any vessel leaving the planet’s surface. No exceptions.”
Darius shot a panicked look back at me, but Princess Marie sprang into action.
She grabbed the archduke by his shirtfront and savagely ripped it to his waist. Darius started to protest the destruction of his fine shirt, but stopped when Marie took her bodice and expertly twisted it, causing every fastener to pop open, baring her torso.
While the archduke was stunned silent, the princess leaned forwards and pressed the comms button.
“We were hoping for a bit of privacy, or do you demonic dullards lack the basic niceties to understand how two nobles consummate an alliance?” the princess demanded, her voice high and haughty despite her state of undress.
“Who’s that? Declare yourself!” the Imperial demanded.
Princess Marie gave me a significant glance, then leaned over the command console. I barely managed to pull back from my viewing slit before the canopy depolarized, revealing the archduke and princess in their creatively compromised state.
The silence stretched on as we gained altitude, until Princess Marie scathingly said, “Get a good enough look?”
I could hear the libidinous grin in the Imperial’s response. “Quite so. Thank you, Archduke. You’ve given us all much to consider in private. Please, enjoy yourself.”
“Yes, I will,” Darius replied, then cut the transmission. “It’s safe now.”
I emerged from the blanket. Princess Marie turned away to do up her bodice. Archduke Darius sat in his copilot’s seat, stunned.
“Princess, I…” I began, uncertain how to express my gratitude. I knew what it must have meant for a royal to denigrate herself so deeply.
“It had to be done. You’d do no less for your Queen and country,” Marie said, brushing off my apologies. Her face was firm and stoic, but when I glanced at Darius, I was shocked to see him blushing.
The subdued atmosphere remained until we docked with the archduke’s cruiser. Darius led us onto his ship and brushed off the captain’s pleasantries.
“We don’t have time for that,” Darius said as he swept aboard.
“Yes, Your Grace…” The Yezhidian captain noticed me, and his hand went for his lancer.
Darius drew first. “Put it away, Captain.”
“But, Your Grace, that man is a criminal,” the Yezhidian officer protested, his hand firmly grasping his half-drawn lancer as he stared down the blade of his prince’s dagger.
“That’s right, and we’re going to help him commit high acts of treason against the sitting Emperor of the Voidskies with the goal of restoring a more favorable head of state to the throne. Any questions?”
The navy captain gave me a hard look, then swallowed and released his lancer back into its holster. “No, Your Grace.”
“That’s good to hear. Now go make the ship ready to receive its other visitors,” Darius ordered as he sheathed his dirk.
“Other visitors?” the Yezhidian captain and I asked at the same time.
Darius smirked at me. “Of course. All the allies you’re going to bring to help in this madcap scheme. They’ll have to come here to help plan.”
“Right,” I said. “Guess I’d better drum up some allies, then.”
The first ally to arrive was Ingvar. I sent Darius down to ask for him, and the two returned soon thereafter.
Ingvar then became our primary runner, rounding up other individuals who Darius, Marie, or myself thought would be sympathetic to our cause.
Ingvar had a few suggestions of his own.
It was on his recommendation we brought Wiktor into the fold, and when the two of them arrived, they brought unexpected reinforcements with them.
My demonic heart did not skip a beat when the ten-foot demon servant strode through the portal, but my adrenaline glands dumped their stimulants into my system. Judging by the way the Yezhidians drew their weapons, I was not the only one worried.