16. Willow
Willow
I wake up sometime in the night, the sleeping chamber quiet except for the slow rhythm of my mates’ breathing. I lie there a moment, waiting for sleep to pull me back under. Only it doesn’t.
I think about how Dagny's mates don't appear to sleep the way mine do. They’re always alert and watching, seemingly never needing to rest. I wonder if it's their altered physiology—another side effect of being born from an incomplete resurrection. Unwhole, in Cin's words.
I like that mine sleep, though. I like that they trust me enough to let their guard down and slumber as deeply as they do. Those moments give me time alone to think.
Suddenly in the mood for some fresh air, I carefully untangle myself from my mates’ limbs and crawl out of our bed. Leaving the safety of the sleeping chamber, I head out to the main cave exit, stopping at the ledge. One more step, and I’d be free-falling down the side of the cliff.
I take a deep breath and lower myself to the edge, letting my feet dangle over open air as I look out over the frozen landscape. This is nice. Peaceful. Calming.
And that’s when the serafyn makes its appearance.
Hey, girl.
I let out a heavy sigh, feeling my anger spike at its voice. “Go away, Spoon,” I grumble. “I’m mad at you.”
Mad? Why?
I scoff, shaking my head. “I called for you earlier. When those mutated things were attacking us, I asked for your help. You didn’t answer.”
I was resting.
“I could have died.”
You did not. I fail to see the problem.
“The problem is that you weren’t there for me in my time of need. Apparently, a nap is more important than protecting your vessel.”
Once more, I would like to reiterate that you are fine.
“You know what?” I cross my arms. “Just leave me alone.”
How? There is nowhere for me to go.
“Go back to sleep, then!”
I am not tired. And I do not appreciate you trying to order me—
I push my fingers into my ears, closing my eyes and humming as loudly as I can, in hopes of drowning out her voice.
You are acting like a petulant child!
“And you’re acting like a shit-smeared asshole. Oh wait, you’re not acting," I snap, dropping my hands back to my sides. “Dammit. I was hoping that would work.”
And you get mad at me when I say you are daft.
I press my palms into my eyes, holding back a scream. “What the hell do you want, Spoon?”
Nothing. I was bored.
I grit my teeth. “Does my suffering amuse you?”
Greatly.
I scoff. “Of course it does. Why am I surprised?”
Beats me. Wishful thinking?
That actually makes me laugh, though it’s more from hysteria than true amusement. “Probably.”
Spoon and I sit in silence for a while after that, the serafyn borrowing my sight to stare out at the quiet landscape.
This is nice, it murmurs. It’s been a while since I just… sat and looked out at a world. Took in its beauty. It’s silent for a while. I can see why you creatures fight so hard to save them.
The words make me pause. I always assumed the serafyn was a cruel being, but moments like this seem to show otherwise.
“You said you have been around for a millennia.” I attempt to sound as casual as possible. “Have you inhabited other vessels?”
Yes. Many.
“Have you ever liked any of them?”
Spoon is silent for a long time. It is hard to remember.
When I transfer to a new vessel, I forget many details.
But I think… I think there was one before you.
I believe that I cared for her quite a bit.
Another long pause. Yes… yes, I remember now.
I can see her face clearly in my mind, like it was only yesterday we were together.
“What happened to her?” I ask softly.
I lost her. It almost sounds like the entity is holding back tears. She passed far before her time.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “What was her name?”
The voice pauses for so long I don’t think it’s going to answer.
I… I cannot remember. It seems distressed by this fact. I can see her face, but her name escapes me. It lets out a quiet laugh. I do remember that she liked to call me Spoon. A rather irritating quirk she shared with you.
“It doesn’t sound like you were all that irritated by it.”
Another low chuckle. In a way, I wasn’t. I cared for her, and she cared for me. I did not mind what she called me, as long as it was with love.
“How did you lose her?”
I… do not know. The voice turns stern. Either way, I do not wish to talk about it any longer.
“Okay. We can talk about something else.”
Goody.
“You know, you don’t have to be such a dick all the time.”
I don’t. But I am old, and I have earned the right.
“Touché. I guess.” I stare back out at the landscape, feeling small and insignificant in the face of it all. “Spoon?”
Yes?
“Why did you choose me as a vessel?”
The serafyn is silent for a long time. It is hard to explain. My memory… I cannot remember the why. I only know that our souls were fated to be together.
“Wow. Super helpful,” I mutter.
Now who’s being a bit of a dick?
I bite back my laugh, not wanting to give Spoon the satisfaction.
I sit in silence for a while longer, enjoying the feel of the cold wind against my face.
Below me, the frozen landscape stretches in every direction, ice glinting faintly in the silver moonlight.
The world feels smaller from up here. Quieter.
“Hey, Spoon?”
Yes?
“Is this world truly going to end?”
Yes.
“Am I… am I going to die?” My voice cracks around the words.
Are you fearful of death?
“No… yes… I don’t know.” I blow out a breath. “I certainly don’t want to die painfully.”
I would never allow that to happen. As for you dying… no. When this world ends, you and I will simply move to the next.
“And when I’m old?” I mutter. “When my bones are breaking down, and I can barely keep my head up? What then? Will you drag me around and make me play Destroyer even then?”
Spoon actually laughs at that. You will not age, silly human. After the Assimilation, you will have my power running through your veins.
“I thought I already did?”
You have been borrowing my power until now. It is… different. The Assimilation is… Special. Sacred.
I don’t really see the difference, but if Spoon says there is one, so be it. “So after the Assimilation… I’ll never die?”
Not unless our souls are separated. And very few things in the universe can do that.
“But it is possible?”
Perhaps you are not as daft as I thought. A pause. Yes… but do not get any ideas. It will not save this world.
“What would save the world?”
I don’t get an answer to that. Your mate is approaching.
“What? I didn’t hear anything—”
“Willow! Why are you out of bed?” Rhune’s voice carries across the distance.
Told you. Spoon snickers.
Shut up. I slowly turn to face Rhune, plastering a bright smile on my face. “Hi, Rhune. I just wanted some fresh air.”
He walks over and sits down behind me, his legs straddling mine, dangling over the edge of the cliff without a care in the world.
“It’s nice out. Peaceful. I haven't seen the world like this in a long time,” Rhune comments.
For some reason, his words bring more anxiety. I can’t help but think this is the calm before the storm. The quiet before everything goes to shit.
I hope I’m wrong. But I don’t think I am.
Rhune's arms wrap around me from behind, his chin resting on the top of my head. “You’re shivering…”
“I’m cold,” I lie.
He doesn't push it, just pulls me tighter against his chest. I want to tell him about Spoon, about my fear of dying and failure—but the words are stuck in my throat. So I don’t say anything.
Rhune's hand slides down my torso, his palm flat and warm against my stomach, fingers spreading slowly across my skin. They curl into the fabric of my suit as a possessive growl rumbles low in his throat. “Whenever I touch you, I can’t help but think about what you would look like swollen with my pup. Is that wrong?”
I shake my head silently, unable to think past the desire flooding my system. No… no, it’s not wrong at all. It’s good. Very, very good.
“Even if it is.” His breath is hot against my ear.
“I don’t think I can stop.” His grip tightens, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of my stomach.
“I’m obsessed, Willow. It’s all I think about anymore.
Breeding you. Filling you. Even now, even while we’re in danger, all I want to do is sink my cock into your sweet pussy and listen to you call my name. ”
He shudders against me, and I bite my lip to hold back a moan. His words do something dangerous to me. I can’t think straight. I just want to give in to this warmth pulsing through my veins and filling my head.
Rhune slides his hand lower now, resting there, holding me but not offering the friction I want.
“Come back to bed.” His breath tickles my neck. “I want to warm you up.”
I turn my head over my shoulder, meeting his heated gaze head-on. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” he growls, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise. “Let me worship you. Let me take away your worries, if only for a short time.”
I twist around in his lap, my arm curling around the back of his neck. His breath catches as I rock my hips, showing him exactly where I want him.
“Willow…”
I kiss him hard, and he groans against my lips, the sound low and rough, sending heat flooding to my core. His teeth catch my bottom lip, biting down hard enough to sting, before his tongue sweeps in, soothing the area and driving me mad.
His free hand slides into my hair, angling my head where he wants it, and the other stays locked at my hip, holding me flush against him.
He breaks away, his chest heaving against mine as he looks deep into my eyes. “Willow… are you sure? After everything that happened today…?”
“I’m sure.” I reach up, fisting my fingers in his hair and pulling him back down for another bruising kiss.
Tomorrow, I'll worry about all the horrors to come. But right now, for tonight, I want to forget about everything for a while and just enjoy my mate.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.