Chapter 8
Chapter eight
“Oh my god, Parker, are you okay?!” Ashlynn shoves her way through the front door. Dropping her bags and the tray of coffee she brought over, as promised, on the counter.
I barely remember passing out before I startled awake to her banging on the front door—calling my phone to wake me up. When I finally managed to drag myself to the front door and open it she gasped at my appearance, and here we are.
“Yeah I’m fine. I just didn’t get any sleep last night.” I mumble through a yawn.
She eyes me warily, concern written all over her face. “Are you sure that’s all it is? You look like you’ve been hit with a truck and backed over a couple of times for good measure.” I stare at her dumbfounded.
Do I really look that bad?
“Ouch. Thanks bestie.” I snark as I reach for the drink tray, successfully snatching my cup out of the holder though she tries to keep it out of my reach.
I inhale the delectable aroma of my coffee once I lift the cup with my name on it up to my nose and mouth, holding it between both hands as if I’m praying to the caffeine gods.
The tension melts off in drastic waves every time the delicious scent floods my senses.
“Well, I mean, do you want me to lie to you? What’s going on Parker?
I’ve seen you tired, I’ve seen you with a total lack of sleep, and I’ve seen you completely worn down, but this?
” She waves her hands up and down the length of my body, “This is different. Like I said, truck. A big, fat, semi sized truck.”
No lie, that’s exactly how I feel; like I’ve been run over multiple times. I’m mentally drained and physically exhausted. What happened this morning has splintered my sanity, and the feeling of security I’ve had the last couple years is starting to slip away.
I want to tell her what’s going on, because I have no one else to talk to, and she’s my best friend.
My only friend. But at the same time, I’m afraid if I tell her what’s going on right now, it will open the flood gates and lead me into talking about a past I have meticulously kept under lock and key.
The night at the house in Rhode Island? That’s going to the grave with me. Telling her is just too risky.
“Did something happen at work last night? Did that new bouncer bother you?” She implores, her eyes full of concern, trying to get a read on me.
I wave a dismissive hand at her, “No, it was a normal night. And I almost forgot Cole was there until last call. He stayed out of my way, walked me to my car, and left.”
“Well I’m glad nothing happened but seriously. If something’s going on, you can tell me you know. I can see something is bothering you. I won’t push, but I’m here if you need someone to vent to.” Ashlynn says softly while bringing me in for a hug.
A pang of guilt hits me for being so closed off with her. She’s been nothing but sweet and kind to me ever since my first day at Doc’s. Did she one hundred percent annoy the hell out of me until I gave in and started hanging out with her? Absolutely. But she was never too pushy, or overbearing.
I’ve told Ash very little about me. Feeding her a fabricated story of who I am and where I come from feels wrong.
Mostly because I hate lying to her–but I also know that I absolutely cannot let anyone know the truth, not if I want to stay safe.
Therefore, I’ve kept her at arms length and never got too personal.
I resolve not to say anything to her about the strange nights I’ve had as of late. At least not yet. I still can’t figure out if I’m going insane, or if I really am being watched. Once I’m able to actually get some solid rest and think clearly enough to figure that out, I might tell her.
Detangling from the hug, I give her a small smile. “I promise I’m okay, it’s just been a long couple of days.”
Understatement of the century.
I lift my coffee cup to my lips, taking a drink when she sighs and goes to remove her shoes at the door.
When she finishes, she takes her own cup to the couch, drops down, then grabs the remote and turns on the TV like she lives here.
Each sip I take, warms my insides and helps to calm my frayed nerves.
“I’m going to go take a shower and get dressed. I'll be right back.” I announce, heading to my room.
“Girl please, take a nap too. I was gonna hang out here all day until work anyway. You have your shift tonight too and need the rest. Go. I’ll be here.” She smiles, steadily flipping through infomercials and sitcom reruns.
My heart fills and my shoulders sag in relief.
Not only is Ashlynn the most outgoing person I’ve ever met, but she’s truly a low maintenance friend.
Not that anyone would think that meeting her, she’s always so bubbly.
At first, she used to try to drag me out of the house to go shopping, restaurants, concerts, you name it.
But I think she quickly sensed how uncomfortable it made me.
‘It’s okay. We’ll get there.’ is all she would say, and then opt for dinner here or her apartment.
I’ve come a long way since then, but right now I could use the sleep and I love her so much for recognizing it, and refusing to let me feel as if I have to stay up.
Thirty minutes later I step out of the shower, and wipe the fog off of the mirror, catching my pitiful reflection staring back at me.
The dark circles around my eyes show just how exhausted I really am.
They resemble a raccoon's mask, or maybe even Zoro. My skin is pale, ashen almost, and my lips are so dry they’re near the point of cracking and splitting open.
Ash was right, I really do look like a truck had its way with me.
I quickly dress in some comfortable jammies and open the door to my room, coming to a stop. Ashlynn is laying in the bed on top of the covers with one of my throw blankets over her and a movie quietly playing on the TV.
“Figured I could use a nap too, and the couch sucks to sleep on.” She says as I slide under the covers and pull up the blankets.
I laugh. “Okay but don’t wake me when you get up for work.” It hit me as I was getting dressed how worn out I truly am, and if she accidentally rouses me, I may get worse.
She promises she won’t and I turn to face away from her. My eyes immediately start to close and I succumb to a long, deep sleep.
At least, for a little while.
My eyes fly open and my heart hammers so hard against the inside of my ribs I swear they’re about to crack.
The rest of my body responds by keeping my breaths shallow and choppy—uncomfortably alert.
The hairs on my neck stand at attention, confirming my instincts as the singing burn of eyes staring into me continue to heat my skin.
I slowly roll onto my side, Ashlynn is passed out next to me, and I slide my eyes over to the doors that lead out to the deck. It’s there. Whatever it is. I can sense it.
The sun is making its descent across the sky and a soft orange hue bathes my bedroom. Without looking at the time, I gather it’s around four o’clock since it’s late fall and the sun, whenever it decides to show up, starts setting earlier than I’d like.
I stare at the doors for what seems like an eternity. Teetering on the verge of hyperventilation and feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin. But I don’t want to scare my friend. What would I say to her if she saw me?
Oh yeah I’m totally fine. I’m pretty sure someone is watching me, but every time I try to see it on camera nothing is there.
No thank you. I feel crazy as it is, it would break me if she looked at me in a similar light.
I continue my stare down with the french doors when I see a shadow make its way closer.
An infuriated scream bubbles in my chest, but I stifle it.
Not wanting to spook it, hoping it reveals itself and confirms I’m not off my rocker.
My eyes begin to burn the longer I keep them open, not wanting to miss my opportunity to catch a glimpse.
That’s until the burn becomes so intense I submit to a blink.
When I open them again, the shadow is gone.
What the ever loving fuck is happening?
A lump the size of a softball forms in my throat as a rogue tear slides down my cheek and I wipe my nose with the blanket.
I’m not crazy…I’m not crazy…I’m not….
There was something, no, someone there. In the middle of the day. I saw it. Eluding my cameras, fucking with my peripherals, haunting me in a way that every figment in my head is out to get me.
After checking the cameras, and seeing fucking nothing again, I decide against anymore sleep. Every time I close my eyes it’s like whatever it is senses my relaxation and decides to fuck with me.
Ashlynn wakes up for her shift a little while later and she looks at me with pity, and I hate it. I don’t ever want anyone to feel bad for me. Ever.
“You don’t wanna be late and you need to go home and change.
I’m good, I promise. Go. I’ll see you tonight.
” I try to assure her. She tries to argue, offering to call out and stay with me a little longer and while I appreciate the thought, I cannot think of anything worse right now.
No, I need her to go. After I finally manage to usher her out the door, and making sure once again everything is locked tight, I storm back to my room.
Back in bed on my side facing the locked doors of my bedroom, my Ruger rests next to my head, hand on the grip.
I wait and wait, but nothing happens. No shadows, no footsteps, no sense of being watched.
Nothing. The lack of solid sleep is getting to me.
That has to be it. I resolve to make a call tomorrow to have my security system looked at, and possibly have the cameras replaced.
That seems to be the one thing I can control right now, but it doesn’t quell the madness that begins to rage in my mind.
I’m losing it.
I’m drowning in my thoughts for so long I lose track of time. I have to start getting ready for work. Hastily rifling through my chest of drawers, I pull out my clothes and toss them to the bed, dreading another long night running on no sleep.