9. Dani
As I’m washing the body wash off myself, I can’t help but think about Lizzie. How the hell did I get any sleep knowing the state she’s in? I could barely look at her yesterday because I’ve never seen her in such a vulnerable state before.
And Ben.
Goddammit.
Breathing in and out, my eyes are getting glassy, but I don’t let any tears fall because I’m so tired. First, my dad. Now him. It’s not fair.
Life isn’t fair.
God, poor Laura. The way she ran to me broke my heart. She’s always been such a positive and upbeat person. Seeing her broken like this feels as if she’s a different person. This isn’t the same Laura I spent so much time with growing up.
So much for washing the pain away. It’s seeping its way deep into my bones now.
And then there’s Noah.
I didn’t want to come here because I knew I’d risk running into him. I mean how could I not when this is his family we’re talking about?
It was inevitable.
There’s something I can’t seem to wrap my head around. The way I let my guard down to help him when he had his first panic attack in front of me.
His ocean eyes were hypnotizing the shit out of me more than they ever have before. The way his hand intertwined with mine and how warm his body was against mine made me feel things.
Snap out of it, Dani.
I turn off the shower, and grab the towel hanging over the towel bar, hunching over so my head is upside down. I wrap it tightly around my head so it stays in place. Concealing my naked body in my towel wrap, I make sure the velcro is lined up correctly.
Stepping out of the shower, I notice how steamed up the mirror is. I can’t see my reflection.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
I wipe my hand across the mirror to reveal myself in my current state.
My face doesn’t look like a zombie anymore. There’s color in my cheeks. The bags under my eyes seemed to have disappeared.
The irony is that I’m fucking exhausted. I guess hot shower water is a miracle worker.
Looking at my reflection, I see a young woman who’s going through a similar experience she went through when she was fourteen.
When you go through a traumatic experience like losing a parent, it changes you. It alters your brain chemistry in ways you could never imagine.
I genuinely believed I’d be miserable for the rest of my life. That I wouldn’t feel anything ever again.
I’m not the same fourteen-year-old girl anymore. Although it’s been several years since Dad’s passing, I still struggle with it.
The way I look at it is I’m here and I’m alive.
That’s what truly matters.
Shaking my head to enter back into reality, I gently remove the towel from my head, letting it fall on the floor next to me.
Twisting the doorknob, I see a ball of ginger fluff sitting on my bed. Archie has his long arms stretching straight out, blinking his eyes at me. He looks like he was asleep, so I try to be as quiet as I can so he can get back to being the cute and lazy boy that he is.
“Archie, why are you sitting on my clothes?” I ask, folding my arms and sticking my leg out.
He’s not looking at me. Instead, he rests his head on my underwear and bra.
I grunt in response.
Walking over to him, I pull my clothes out from under him. “Why do you do this?”
As I’m raising my arms to put my white tank top on, I slip it on as I hear a strange noise coming from the living room.
My heart starts pounding like a thousand drums being played all at once.
Who needs shorts anyway?
Slowly creeping out my door, I step out of my room and make my way down the hallway. Hearing footsteps going up the stairs, I sprint back into my room and grab the closest weapon I have at my disposal. A giant, black flashlight.
Taking it in my hands, I hold it like a baseball bat.
Oh my God, what if it’s an intruder? Or maybe even a kidnapper? I’m screwed either way.
I’m standing behind the door, lifting my flashlight because I’m ready to kill this son of a bitch. As I’m ready to wack this shadowy figure, I notice it’s no longer a shadow.
It’s a person.
Oh shit, it’s Noah.
He screams. I scream.
I lower the flashlight as my face heats up with anger. “Are you fucking kidding me?”