24. Dani
I’m not losing my mind.
Noah was checking me out again.
And he called me pretty.
This time feels different because I know I wasn”t imagining it in my head. The way his eyes worked their way up my body made me feel like I was about to melt into a pile of mush.
I don’t just find Noah attractive.
I have feelings for him.
I think I always have, but I never wanted to admit it to myself because how could I have feelings for a man I used to hate? I have no idea if Noah feels the same way about me.
He used to tease me all the time.
Why is the way he’s treating me now any different? It’s not, but it is. It’s not teasing in a way where it’s mean and cruel. It’s really hot.
How am I going to survive through this entire day with him now that I’ve admitted my feelings for him? Well, internally, I mean.
BELLA
ME
you were right. i’m not just attracted to noah. i have feelings for him. THIS IS SO FUCKING BAD, BELLS!!!
BELLA
I told you so. Give me all the details. NOW!
ME
this is going to be a long ass text, just warning you
last night, we went to marina’s for dinner and went grocery shopping afterwards. we both were up pretty late because we couldn’t sleep. we talked for like an hour or two about books, my dad, and ben. this morning he made me breakfast. he’s taking me to sweet salty so i can get inspired to write again. then, he’s taking me to coastal shores for lunch. he said everything’s a mystery after that
BELLA
You’re having writer’s block again?
ME
yeah, it fucking sucks, but i’m hoping this trip to sweet salty might help. or maybe just the entire day. i don’t know
BELLA
It sounds like he’s pretty crazy about you
ME
i love you, but please don’t feed into my delusions
BELLA
You do realize the shit you read in romance books can actually happen in real life, right? You just have to find your own book boyfriend. But Dani, you already found him. He’s been in your life this entire time. And you both spent most of your lives fighting over the dumbest shit. Take this opportunity to get to know him and I mean really get to know him. We don’t find love, it finds us. Well…some of us
ME
wow, that was beautiful. i really hope you’re not feeding into my delusions because i’m going to be so disappointed if you are
BELLA
Ugh, shut up, Dani
You both deserve time away from the hospital. time to decompress. Time with each other. And time to get to know each other in a different light. Like you said, everything changed when you took care of him when he had his panic attack. You deserve someone who wants to take care of you. You take care of all of us: me, Sage, your mom. You’ve been taking care of Laura, Lizzie, and now, you’re taking care of Noah
Dani, you’re my soul sister. After everything you’ve been through and after everything you’ve done for me, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Especially if that happiness is with Noah!!!
ME
i love you so much. i don’t deserve you
BELLA
I love you too. Like I said, you deserve the world. Stop texting me and go live out your own version of the romance novels you read. Update me when you can. I need to know what happens
We don’t find love, it finds us.
I’m trying not to get my hopes up that there’s a possibility that Noah could have feelings for me.
What if he doesn’t? What if this is all in my head?
God, I hate being an overthinker. My brain is in a constant loop which never fucking ends.
Shit, I need to get dressed.
I look at my reflection in my floor-length mirror.
My hair is a fucking mess. I don’t have the patience to make it look pretty so I just throw it up in a high ponytail. That, and it’s hot as shit outside.
There’s a knock on my door.
I open it to see Noah standing in a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants.
We’re both looking at each other’s outfits.
“I swear this is a coincidence,” he says.
I purse my lips. “Yeah, a major coincidence.”
“We’re not matching exactly. You’re wearing shorts.”
“We’re wearing the same colors though,” I point out, looking down at my white tank top and gray cotton knit shorts.
“I can put on a different pair of sweatpants,” he suggests.