Chapter Eight #2
“…that you’re going to blow up your entire life just because you need to control every aspect of it, including your patients. I need you to keep your shit together, Alfie. I know this sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but just trust me, okay. I have my reasons for being paranoid about this.”
The therapist in me is dying to know more and work through those issues.
Absent father, perhaps? At this point, Mia hasn’t given me any indication that she doesn’t know her dad, but then again, when would she have brought it up?
I had met a few family members of hers, but from recollection, it was only her mother and one of her brothers.
“I’m not going to blow my life up, I promise. And…listen, if you want to talk about those reasons you don’t trust older men, then we can talk through it. Or I can recommend an excellent therapist to help guide you.”
“Thank you, I’m good. I’ve done my therapy, and I’m mostly over it.”
That remains to be seen.
“Do you really want to lie to your friends?” she asks softly.
I could admit that they know about her already and they know we’re not dating.
I could tell her I wanted to protect her from Caleb and Jonesy, who are both single.
Not that I’m particularly concerned with Jonesy; he seems to only have eyes for one red-headed, prosecco offering woman.
But I don’t do that. I double down, knowing that if I can pretend to be dating her, I can act like I’m dating her.
Feed into the fantasy I’ve kept at bay for some time now. Just for a while, then I’ll come clean.
“I think it would be better if we kept to one narrative. We’re dating; we have been for a few months. When the time is right, we can agree to separate and part as friends.”
She squirms in her seat. “I don’t know about this, Alfie.”
“I know I’m asking a lot…I should have told the officer we weren’t together, but I panicked and I didn’t want him to question why we were there.”
“No, I get it. And I get why you’re asking me. But if this blows up, it’s not going to blow up in the face of the man who has his own TV segment, his own practice, and however many years of his career under his belt. It’s going to blow up in mine. And…I can't have that happen again, Alfie.”
Again?
I assume it’s the reason she rarely visits her hometown.
Last year she didn’t even go home for Christmas, instead she stayed and worked everyday except for Christmas day.
The office was closed but she’d insisted she had things to do that she could catch up on.
Perhaps she was avoiding something, or someone at home. Someone who hurt her.
Guilt sets in as I realize the risk I’ve asked her to take.
I’m under no illusion that men usually come out unscathed in these situations, but the fact that Mia may have been taken advantage of previously makes my blood boil.
But her standing up for herself now, setting healthy boundaries and questioning an authority figure in her life, I’m proud of her.
“You’re right. Of course, Mia. I’m sorry. I should never have asked you to do that.”
She stares at me for a moment. The close proximity of our seats and the soft glow of the setting sun, I feel like I’m seeing her in an entirely different light.
Her face is soft, her frown lines deepening as she thinks through the problem I’ve presented.
Her perfume fills my car, driving me to distraction.
Is this what dating could be like? Just closeness?
I try to picture dating anyone, but it’s only her face that comes to mind, probably because she’s here now, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and, in my unprofessional opinion, an absolute lunatic.
In this carefully controlled and regimented life I’ve created, there is no room for a meaningful relationship.
If there was, it would need to be someone amenable, someone that could slot into my life completely.
And Mia isn’t that. She’s got her own dreams, her own goals.
She’s an incessant talker and acts without a single thought on occasion, in particular the Vincent incident.
She wouldn’t fit into my world. Or perhaps, more correctly, I wouldn’t fit into hers.
She deserves more than what I’d be able to offer her.
The talk with my father has convinced me that much is true.
I’m not going to stifle her or anyone else into a role where they give more than they get.
“You’re not going to try and convince me?” she says, her voice low.
“No…you said you didn’t want to. We’ll just say that I invited you because you were helping me with something earlier.”
“No, it’s okay. We can pretend to date. Hold hands, go on ice-skating dates, whatever it is people your age do,” she teases.
I ignore the age jab with a grit of my teeth. “Wait…what? You said no.”
“I know. But you didn’t try and push me into it when you knew I didn’t want to. So we’re good. I trust you to not take it too far. Let’s go.”
“That was a test?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to do it, and you respected it, and now, I want to help you. Because I think if I asked, you would help me with something like this too.”
Despite her resounding confidence in me, I’m not so sure I would. Aside from patients, when was the last time I did something nice for someone?
She shifts so she’s facing out the windscreen and unbuckles her seatbelt.
She takes a steadying breath and then opens up the door.
I flick my eyes away the second she bends out of the car, her leather pants stretching criminally tight around her ass.
The backs of my knuckles push into my eyes as I steel myself for an evening I am unwittingly prepared for.
We take our final step toward the huge oak door, a smooth golden handle hanging vertically.
The house itself is post-modern. Wide floor-to-ceiling glass windows leave no secrecy once you arrive at the door.
Every beam and brick exposed with soft lighting littered across each room.
The emerald furnishing and glistening fixtures make you believe you’re as much a part of the forest as the trees or moss covered floor.
It’s a woodland sanctuary and just looking at Mia’s parted mouth makes me want to buy the house from Lottie immediately.
Mia lifts up on her toes as she sweeps her eyes across the exposed rooms. Her gaze halts once she reaches the library, and I know I’ll need to give her a tour later.
I slip my hand into hers, and her head snaps toward me. She tries to pull back, but I fasten my grip tighter and knock on the door.
“Alfie, what are you—"
The door swings open, and Lottie stands barefoot, a lavender dress clinging to her, pulled tightly in at her waist, the ruffled layers trailing at her feet.
“Oh good, I thought you were going to bail when you realized it’s just a bunch of dullards here,” she sings, swooping out to peck my cheek before embracing Mia in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m glad you’re here. You’ll certainly liven things up.”
“Play nice, please,” I murmur, half joking.
“Pfft. Absolutely not. You bringing a date is the wildest thing to happen in a year, especially after everything we’ve seen on social media.”
Mia follows Lottie as she ushers her into the entranceway.
She lingers as I remove my coat as if she’s nervous.
A surge of protective heat rushes through my chest, puffing it out like she’s delaying her entrance until I’m by her side to shield her.
I slip my hand back into hers, and this time she lets me.
Squeezing it and hiding slightly behind me as we walk through to the living area.
“Caleb, Jonesy, Katie…this is Mia.”
Mia lifts her right hand up in an awkward wave, smiling politely. “Hi.”
“Oh my lord. She is real. Your prosecco is here,” Katie says, bouncing out of her seat to pull Mia into a fierce hug before holding her at arm's length to get a good look at her. Only once she’s had her fill does she hand her the glass of fizzing liquid.
I roll my eyes—this is going to be a long night. “I have dated before.”
All five sets of eyes snap to me in a cocktail of humor, confusion, and from Mia, a flattening of her lips before she quickly looks away.
“None as beautiful as this one.” Caleb rises from his seat, sauntering toward Mia, taking her hand in his, before kissing her knuckles.
“Umm…” Mia starts, her shoulders caving in slightly.
“Hands off, Caleb.” He pauses for a moment, assessing me. “Now.”
A smile breaks out across his face before he lets go of Mia’s hand, giving her a small bow and returning to the forest green loveseat he’d previously occupied. His sharp gaze flitted between us like he was calculating how long it would take for Mia to fully hide herself behind me.
“Drinks?” Lottie suggests.
“Excellent idea,” I say, releasing Mia’s hand and giving her a nod.
She follows Lottie into the kitchen and I hear their giggles from here.
The remaining three of our group look up at me expectantly.
Jonesy’s attention pulled away from Katie for the first time in years, Katie’s brow raised, and Caleb’s smirk pulls at his lips.
“That was fast, Alfie,” Caleb says smoothly.
I ignore him, instead, taking a step towards them all and lowering my voice. “As far as you’re concerned, Mia and I have been dating for a month or so and you don’t know any differently. Got it?”
“This is not going to go down well, Alf,” Jonesy leans his elbows on his thighs, smoothing his palms together.
Katie rolls her eyes, “Don’t be a baby. We’re in, of course.”
“I’m with Katie on this one. Sorry, bud.” Caleb nods to a glowering Jonesy before Jonesy flits his attention back to Katie.
I nod, express my thanks and move into the kitchen. The space is open plan; exposed supporting beams make it feel like the house is almost an extension of the forest, especially given that the floor to ceiling windows look right into it.