Chapter 32
ROMAN
“Soooo . . . are you going to tell me where you went last night?”
I look up from my desk to see Evie leaning against the office door, the toe of her slipper tapping on the floor. With her arms crossed and expression stern, I’m transported back in time.
The memories I have of a tiny, toddler-sized Evie giving me very intimidating scoldings when she’d stumble upon the arguments I’d get into with her mother have never faded.
Maybe they’ve refused to dim because I’ve done everything in my power to make sure I never forget a single moment that I had with Lena before she died, or maybe I just cherished seeing her daughter so grown and independent, even at a young age.
Either way, while she’s aged over the years, she’s still that empathetic little girl who’d take one look at a stranger regardless of their circumstances and offer them the clothes off her back.
Well, that or a pep talk that would, without a doubt, have them racing away with a new fire beneath their ass.
Right now, I think she has alternate plans for me.
“Did I wake you when I got home?” I ask carefully.
“I was already awake.”
My brows draw together. “At two in the morning? Why?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I’m fine, before you ask,” she says, waving me off. “This isn’t about me, anyway.”
I lean away from my desk and roll the office chair to the left, away from the glare of the computer screen. “It is now. Are the pills still working? I can make an appointment if they aren’t. You promised you wouldn’t hide this from me the next time.”
“Why were you home so late? I thought you went right home after the studio,” she pushes.
“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.”
Her harsh exhale reveals her frustration before the pointed words do. “It’s just been a few rough nights. I’ll make my own appointment if it gets worse. Now, spill.”
Concern glides between my ribs like a hot knife.
Evie’s inability to sleep at night without the use of medication stems from losing Lena.
The accident that took my sister from us could have stolen Evie from me, too, and ever since then, she’s become a night owl.
The nightmares used to be so bad that I’d wake up to her screaming.
I assumed everything had gotten better over these last few months, but apparently, I’m just not as perceptive as I used to be.
“I was . . . on a date,” I say awkwardly.
Shock works through her expression before she’s lighting up, her arms dropping. “With who? Do I know her? Where did you meet? Please tell me you were nice. Why didn’t you mention it to me when we were together?”
“Slow your roll,” I mutter, avoiding her eyes. “I didn’t say I was going to answer any other questions.”
“That’s a cruel loophole, Uncle.”
“Don’t pretend to be surprised.”
“I’m not asking for their full name and social insurance number. But this is the first time you’ve dated since I moved in here, so you can’t blame me for being curious. It would be totally mean to deny me this.”
“This is the first time you’ve noticed me dating,” I correct her, knowing damn well I’m lying.
“Say that again, please.”
“Don’t make this into a huge deal, Evie.”
“But it is a huge deal! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for there to be another woman in your life for you to focus on? This is monumental, and you’re not allowed to shut me down so easily.”
“I’ll always focus on you.”
Sighing, she straightens and comes deeper into my office. “Can you at least tell me where you met her?”
“Work.”
“Ooooh.” She nods like she’s just had a revelation. “Is it a guy?”
A startled noise escapes me. “What?”
“What do you mean, what? You don’t work with many women, so I’m just asking. How many baseball asses do you see on a regular basis? I wouldn’t blame you. Plus, you’re being pretty shady right now. You’ve never been a good liar.”
“I’m not interested in men, Evie.”
“Alright. But there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it if you were. Even if you liked both, I wouldn’t care,” she adds, eyeing me a bit too closely. “I’d still love you just the same.”
I shake my head and drag a hand down my jaw. “While that’s a very nice sentiment, I’m straight.”
“Fine, I believe you. Now, tell me who the mystery woman is who managed to get you out of your office again? And don’t try to deny that you haven’t been out with her multiple times before last night.
You’ve been out late quite a few nights recently, and a late-night rendezvous clearly means things are going well. ”
“If you’ve known this entire time, why just bring it up now?”
“I was hoping you’d tell me yourself. Clearly, that wasn’t the plan because this was, what, the third time? Fourth? It’s got to be pretty serious now, you know, with the third-date rule.”
My wince is audible. “Don’t allude to that.”
“It’s dating etiquette, isn’t it? Just because I haven’t been on one before doesn’t mean that I don’t read. I know the important stuff. There are entire blogs dedicated to dating. Not to mention magazines.”
“We’re not having this conversation, Evie. When there’s something to share, you’ll be the first to know. I promise.”
“I’m twenty-one, Uncle. I’m not going to combust at the mention of going to the bar or having se—”
“Nope!” I shout, stumbling to my feet. “We’re done talking about this. Please.”
Pain clots my blood like poison as I watch my niece roll her eyes. “See? This is the problem. This is why you need a girlfriend. At least I’d have someone to talk to about all of this.”
Without waiting for a reply that I can’t even piece together, she stalks out of the office.
There are so, so many things I did in Evie’s teen years that I regret, but I know that I couldn’t have changed or done better at the time.
I was ill-equipped when Lena died. Suddenly, I went from living alone as a thirty-five-year-old bachelor to having a sixteen-year-old girl crying herself to sleep in my spare room and a million things she needed that I didn’t know how to give.
I was her uncle and was always around when she was growing up, but I was no father.
Parenting was a foreign concept to me, and by the time I had to learn, Evie was already so old and figuring out shit on her own.
The life lessons she needed were supposed to come from Lena.
Dating, hormones, and socializing as a teenage girl were all things I didn’t know how to explain to her.
Not to mention, I was so busy grieving that even if I could have figured it out then, I wouldn’t have attempted to.
Instead, I bundled her in bubble wrap and kept her close enough that there was no way she’d wind up getting hurt.
I may have lost Lena, but I wouldn’t lose Evie.
The teenager who was so suddenly living under my roof was a direct line to my sister.
She has her turquoise eyes and the same witty sense of humour that I’d spent a good chunk of my life trying to replicate before giving up and accepting the blunt quietness I was born with.
Looking back on those years now, I can see the million ways I went wrong. I don’t have a time machine, though, regardless of how badly I wish I could go back and fix my mistakes.
Sheltering her when it came to going out and dating is my biggest regret. Especially now that she’s twenty-one and lacks the knowledge to do so safely. The night I found her at the club still haunts me when I close my eyes at night.
If it hadn’t been for Brielle, I don’t know what I would have done in that situation.
I drop back into my office chair and grab my phone. There’s a definite lack of messages on my part when it comes to the text thread with Brielle. I think some part of me assumed that if I held back this way, I could keep some sort of boundary in place.
It was a pathetically stupid idea.
There’s a startling lack of boundaries still holding up. Even less so after last night.
I almost told her about Lena.
Brielle
Do you think Evie would be up for helping me with a few designs?
You know that I can see when you read my messages, right?
I could ask her without your permission, but I was hoping you’d tell me that you’d be okay with it. She’s your niece.
I grit my teeth in annoyance at myself for not responding to her before going to bed. Especially after what happened between us just an hour prior to then. Again, I’m a fucking idiot.
The new messages from this morning haven’t been opened yet. I was using reading them as motivation to watch all of the tapes I’ve been ignoring. I fly out tomorrow with the team, so I should be at the stadium. In my office. Getting everything ready.
That’s not my current plan.
Brielle
I’m going to ask her anyway. Since you didn’t answer, you don’t get to be an ass about it.
When do you leave tomorrow?
I read both messages three times before replying.
Evie would love that. Plane leaves at nine. Maybe you could come to the house while I’m gone to see her.
Once I’ve sent it, I stare at the screen, watching for another message to pop up. The minutes crawl by one after the other until I give up and set the phone down. I look out the doorway and scratch my jaw, contemplating going to check on Evie.
My thoughts screech to a halt when I hear her voice in the hall.
“Really? I’d love that . . . Oh! I don’t mind. I like Aubrey.”
I sit completely still, not wanting to make a sound and miss something. Evie pauses before speaking again.
“Six works great! I can order dinner and take care of the snacks. Do you have favourites? What about Aubrey? My uncle doesn’t have a lot of alcohol in the house, but I can always buy whatever you two like. Just name it,” she rambles excitedly.
Glancing at the dark phone screen, I quickly piece together that Brielle took my approval and decided to make Evie’s entire fucking month with whatever plans they’ve come up with. I haven’t heard her sound so excited about something in years.
There’s a feeling of crowdedness in my chest. I pull a breath into my lungs and attempt to settle myself.
It was never supposed to be like this with Brielle.
The entire point of keeping away from her was to avoid this, yet here I am.
And as terrified as I should be that not only am I seeing the sister of one of my players, but one who’s fifteen years younger than me, there’s no part of me that wants to go back.
Rather, the idea of turning away from her has my stomach cramping.
Brielle
Don’t make her go to the liquor store on her own. Two bottles of rose should work just fine, Coach.