Chapter 37
ROMAN
I’m trying to be calm.
I’ve bitten my tongue so hard it’s bled and chewed my cheek raw all to keep from asking her for further confirmation that she’s really okay.
My palms are so slick that I’ve avoided reaching across the car to grab her hand and instead have gripped the steering wheel so hard I may have new calluses from all the rubbing.
She’s in one piece, and the singular tear track I noticed has dried. I said far too much to her and bared more of my soul than I ever have, all because I couldn’t control my panic. The thought of finding her in far worse shape than I did drove me to madness the entire drive from Kellan’s house.
When I accepted the invite to my very first extracurricular night with the team, I thought it was going to build some sort of necessary bridge between me and them that would build Brielle an easier path from one to the other.
That hope was the lone reason I agreed to join them in the first place when I’ve been so adamant on keeping them at arm’s length.
Maybe I should have waited until she was there with me to take that step.
That way, I wouldn’t have had to eavesdrop on a call I had no business listening to in hopes of hearing her voice for even half a second.
If I hadn’t overheard the hurt and panic in her voice, I wouldn’t have lashed out at Finn when he told me to calm down and exposed myself to my players in a way I’ve never done before.
He backed up the moment I told him to get out of my way, and thinking back on it now, he was only concerned and not outright attempting to block me from going to find her.
“You listen to this song? Since when do you play music while you drive?”
I clear my throat. “What?”
“The song you chose? I played it for you the other night.”
“Right.”
“How did you know the title of it? I didn’t tell you what it was.”
Avoiding looking at her, I drum my fingers against the wheel and adjust my posture. “I searched the lyrics.”
“You do know that that makes you, like, kind of obsessed with me, right?”
“I’m glad to know that you are finally picking up on that.”
My eyes snap to where her fingers fall to mine and begin uncurling them from the steering wheel. Once they’re free, she interlocks them and brings our hands to her lap. I struggle to focus on the road. She’s stroking my knuckles so softly, like she’s scared if she presses too hard, I’ll fall apart.
“What other songs did you look up?”
I nod to the cup holder in the console where my phone rests. “Take a look.”
She doesn’t hesitate. With a grin, she’s plucking it up and swiping her thumb across the screen. When the numbers for the passcode appear, I’m answering her question before she has a chance to speak it.
“1214.”
“Is that your birthday?”
“Not mine. Lena’s,” I push past the knot in my throat.
She squeezes my fingers. “When is yours? I’ve never seen the team celebrate it.”
“That’s because they don’t know it.”
“Tell me,” she pleads.
“August twenty-seventh.”
“One sec.” She places my phone between her clenched thighs before she’s pulling hers out and tapping at it. Once she’s finished, she exchanges them again and flashes me an excited grin. “I marked it down so I don’t forget. It’s not that far away. Maybe Evie and I can—”
She cuts herself off as her eyes dip, and her cheeks flare a deep red. The insinuation was obvious, as are her nerves.
“She’d love to plan something with you, Brielle.”
“You think so?” she asks, sounding a bit too timid still.
I bring our joined hands to my mouth and brush a kiss across the back of hers. “Yes. And I’d enjoy knowing you were involved as well.”
“It’s settled, then.”
She busies herself with my phone again, and I keep my eyes up and ahead of us.
The traffic isn’t bad now that rush hour is over, which means we can get to my place sooner than later.
As dramatic as it may seem, I won’t be able to settle properly until I get her home and run my hands over every inch of her body.
“You aren’t scared that I’m going to go snooping through your texts right now?”
I nestle our hands into my lap. “No. But if you want to, go ahead. The most scandalous ones you’ll find are from a couple of my players or my boss. Do I need to make you sign an NDA?”
I’m sure she’d have a good laugh reading Evie’s last rush of texts about my mystery date. There will be plenty of time for that later, though. As soon as Evie gets home from the studio tonight and sees Brielle, I’m going to come clean. I can’t keep this a secret from her anymore.
Brielle deserves to be shown off, and Evie deserves to know the truth.
“Har-har. I was just curious how much trust you actually have in me.”
“More than enough, but that’s not why I’m letting you on my phone. Having your trust is more important to me. If searching through my messages or social media pages will please you, then I don’t have any arguments. I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m quite boring, though.”
“Oh, I’ve known that for a while now,” she teases before turning the phone until the screen is facing me. The music app is already open. “No snooping needed, Rome.”
Her confidence in me has my chest puffing up. I tip my chin and turn back to the road at the same time the red light turns green. The turn into my neighbourhood appears a heartbeat later.
“Cocky,” I murmur.
“Did you mean to make this playlist?”
My skin prickles. “Which one?”
“Don’t play coy. You know what I’m talking about.”
“Remind me.”
“The one titled ‘Sweetheart’? This is . . . seriously full of all my favourite songs. Some of these I haven’t even mentioned to you before.
” She twists in her seat and tugs harshly on my hand, attempting to get my attention.
I bite back a smirk and lift my brows pointedly at the windshield.
“Oh, right. Now you’re too busy to look at me. ”
“We’re two minutes away.”
“Fine. But the moment we get there, you’re going to tell me how you found these songs because I doubt you asked Aubrey for help.”
Only thirty seconds pass before she’s huffing and selecting one of the songs. It plays through the sound system. I hear the first few beats and choke on a laugh.
“‘No Scrubs’? You chose that one on purpose.”
She hums innocently. “Oh, did I?”
“Are you insinuating that I’m a scrub because I won’t answer your question?”
“I guess we’ll have to see when we get to the house,” she states stubbornly.
When we reach the driveway, I reach up to the visor and click the garage door opener. The door rises while I battle an even wider grin and finish listening to the ridiculous song. The lyrics are extremely pointed, which only makes me love Brielle and her dramatics more.
Shock ripples through me, forcing my smile to drop.
The lightning bolt of panic that lances my chest fades instantly when I feel her squeeze my hand.
I pull into the garage and put the car in Park.
When I look to the side, I find her eyes narrowed and waiting.
They pierce into me, and I let them, making no move to pull away.
“Do I need to pick another song, or are you going to answer me?”
My tongue is slow to move. “You hardly post online, but when you do, there’s always a song attached to your pictures. It’s never the same one, and after listening to the ones you played in your kitchen, I pieced together that you only choose ones you love.”
“So you put them into a playlist?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Without breaking eye contact, I turn the car off and reach over to turn down the music.
“Because there are things you love that I want to know more about. Your music tastes, the fashion trends you use as inspiration for your work, horror movies. I don’t know where to start with fashion, and I’m man enough to admit that the movies you love scare the shit out of me.
Music was the best starting point, and I know these are only a few of the songs you like, but if you tell me a few others, I’ll add them and listen as soon as I can. ”
Her fingers are trembling when she presses them to my neck and draws me close.
I reach for her waist and help lift her over the middle console.
The warm weight of her body in my lap soothes the frayed nerves skittering beneath my skin.
Our lips meet in a raw, desperate kiss as she moans and pushes my head back against the seat.
I push my hands up her sides and around her back so I can unclasp her bra. It snaps open at the same time she’s reaching to the side and shoving the car door open. No words need to be spoken for me to understand the order.
She takes my hand and climbs out of the car so fast I stumble when my feet hit the cement floor of the garage.
The overhead door is still open, but the driveway is hidden enough that I know no one will pass by and see her pull her shirt over her head.
I watch the pink fabric fall to the floor before she’s gripping the waist of my jeans and using it to push me back up against the open door.
My body forces it to close with a slam that shakes through my bones. “What are you doing?”
Her pink lips part to reveal the most knee-quivering smile. It distracts me enough that my reaction to her lowering herself to her knees on the discarded shirt is delayed. She’s already got my jeans undone and hanging at my knees by the time I shoot a hand out and gather her hair in a weak fist.
“It’s pretty obvious now, isn’t it?” she murmurs before gripping my cock.
Her grip is almost too fucking perfect as she gives me a slow stroke and leans in to lap at the leaking tip.
Eyes closing, she purses her lips and runs them down the entire shaft.
They part when they reach my balls, and she sucks one into her mouth.
I reach behind me to palm the smooth body of the car, needing something to hold on to that isn’t connected to her head.
“You’re always on your knees for me, Brielle. There’s no need for you to be,” I declare breathlessly, jaw trying to close. “Let me be the one on my knees.”
She ignores me. The smooth, wet feel of her tongue finds the underside of the head, tracing it in endless circles. I grunt a breath and lean more of my weight against the car. The tension in my groin grows tenfold when she takes me into her mouth.
Blazing heat engulfs my cock while her tongue runs along the underside, teasing. My chest caves when she reaches between my legs and cups my sac, rolling it.
I choke on her name as the pleasure spikes. “Elle.”
She opens those pretty blue eyes and flicks them upward, watching as I crumble for her. I shake my head and use my hold on her hair to force her off my cock. Her lips make a filthy pop noise, and then she’s sinking back onto her heels and grabbing my hands.
I pull her up before spinning us and pinning her to the car. Fitting myself between her legs, I grab behind her knees and lift. She gasps when her back makes contact with the hood.
“Tell me you need me,” I breathe out, already unbuttoning her shorts.
“I need you.” She unzips my jacket and works it down my arms. Once it’s off, she tosses it across the hood and pushes my shirt up my chest with frantic hands. “I need you so, so badly.”
I shut my eyes for a brief moment, searching for control as my shirt joins the jacket. “Take your shorts off for me.”
“Say it back first.”
Our eyes clash. The passion there, the unmistakable claim that’s sparking like a wildfire in the wide expanse of her pupils, glides across the scars in my chest, healing them.
I smooth my hands down her shoulders and push her flat against the hood. Her hair fans out around her head as she watches me, her naked chest moving with quick breaths. I pluck one of her nipples and watch as her lips open to form a perfect O shape.
“I can count on one hand the number of people I need.” Her breath catches when I drop my head and take her nipple into my mouth.
I apply soft suction for a few seconds before releasing it.
“I prefer things that way. There are less messes, less questions I need to find the answers to when things go wrong. I can ensure that I don’t spread myself too thin and risk losing someone else. ”
Brielle keeps her focus on me, her eyes never straying. My rambling doesn’t scare her, and that’s what encourages me to continue.
Leaning over her body, I slide my forearms beneath her back and lift her off the hood. The thought of dragging her closer and having her skin stick to the hood has me being extra careful when I set her back down.
My cock twitches against her thigh when I start wiggling her shorts down myself.
“But I need you. You’ve taken control of me.
My carefully constructed routine has been shattered.
When I’m not with you, I wish I was. If you’re somewhere other than my arms, I ache to be beside you.
I’m . . .” I help her straighten her legs into the air.
The denim bunches at her calves before I slip it free and press a kiss to her ankle bone.
“I’m completely yours. Regardless of the impact this may have on our lives, I am yours if you want me. ”
A sheen slips over her gaze as she pushes up from the hood and flattens her hand to my chest.
“It’s about time.”