chapter 26
Remi
WHEN I WAKE UP, SOMETHING feels different. My eyes are still closed, though I can feel warm light streaming across my body where I’m lying in bed. And despite the AC quietly humming, I’m hotter than usual, like I’m lying next to a big bear.
A big teddy bear.
Realization hits me hard, and my eyes flick open.
Tacos. Beer. Seb.
Now that I’m waking up, I can feel him next to me, curled around my back under my thin comforter. We’re both still naked, our bodies pressed together.
And for a minute, I just lie there, feeling the comfort of his body cradling me, the gentle brush of air on the back of my neck as he breathes deep.
Slowly, trying not to wake him up, I ease off of my pillow and turn my head to look down at him.
He’s out cold, lips parted slightly, face perfectly serene.
In the morning light streaming through my window, the black tattoo on his bicep is a stark contrast against his skin: the compass that doesn’t point north.
His broad chest rises and falls with each breath, and he looks so comfortable and peaceful, I really don’t want to wake him.
But I need a shower and coffee. I’m covered in a thin layer of sweat, and I can still feel last night’s cum on the insides of my thighs.
Guess I’ll be washing the sheets again.
Very gently, I slip out of bed, my bare feet finding the floor as I stretch out my neck. Then I get to my feet and tiptoe around the side of the bed, picking Sebastian’s jeans and shirt up off the floor as I go.
In my hands, his jeans vibrate. Reaching down, I feel his cell still in his pocket, but I don’t pull it out. Instead, I fold his jeans and T-shirt, set them on my dresser, then slip out of the bedroom and close the door.
Thirty minutes later, I’m fresh and clean, draped in my silky bathrobe since I don’t want to risk waking Sebastian by going into the room and thumping around in my closet and dresser drawers.
I pour myself a hot cup of coffee from the percolator, add oat milk and vanilla, then froth it up before going to sit on my porch.
Outside, the air is already hot, and it makes quick work of drying my damp hair.
I sit in one of the wicker armchairs and pull my knees up to my chest, watching the world come alive around me: the sun rising higher in the sky, cars moving slowly through the condo complex, people going to work or taking their kids places. But I sit quietly, sipping my coffee.
And I think of last night.
First, I think of how amazing the sex was. Probably the best I’ve ever had. Even now, remembering how Sebastian’s tongue felt when his head was buried between my thighs and the words he whispered against my skin in the darkness has my low belly fluttering.
But it’s what happened afterward that I sit with, turning over and over in my mind.
I cried. Cried.
It was like everything I’ve been holding back and trying to repress came bursting out the moment Sebastian coaxed that powerful second orgasm from me. I literally cried in his arms and pretty much told him I want him here with me all the time.
At the moment, wrapped in his arms and lying in the darkness, it felt like the truest thing I could say. But in the light of day, do I feel the same?
As I sip my coffee and think of driving Seb to the airport today, watching him walk away from me again, it makes something in my stomach go tight.
So, yeah, I guess I do feel the same, even now, as the sun paints the desert sky. And I have mixed feelings about that.
First coffee down, I head back into the condo, going to pour myself another one. I take a moment to grab a bagel from the cupboard and pop it into the toaster. As I wait for it to toast, I hear my phone buzzing and realize I left it on the speaker system last night.
Crossing from the kitchen to the living room, I pick up my cell.
It’s a video call from Riley.
She probably wants to know how my date went last night.
But I don’t want to wake Seb up. So I deny the call, slather some jam onto my bagel when it pops, then carry my second cup of coffee, cell phone, and bagel out to the porch.
After getting settled back into my armchair, I call Riley back. She answers on the second ring.
“So?” She’s sitting in the kitchen at home, eating another yogurt cup. I swear, she’s going to turn into a cup of yogurt if she keeps eating those things. “How’d it go?”
I take a bite of my bagel, chewing thoughtfully for a moment, because I know it’ll drive her crazy having to wait for my answer. And sure enough, an irritated furrow appears in her brow as she waits for me to swallow.
“Good,” I finally say.
Riley’s blue eyes narrow. “Good? That’s it? That’s all you’re going to tell me?”
I sip my coffee and smile at her. “We ate tacos and drank beer. It was good.”
Riley stares at me for a minute, and I start to get the feeling that she’s assessing me and finding truths written on my face that I’d really rather not say out loud.
“Is he still there?” She asks it so blatantly, it makes my throat go tight.
For a moment, I picture him sprawled out on my bed, his skin glowing golden in the morning sunlight, his head nestled comfortably into my pillow—like he belongs here. Like my bed is his bed.
And that’s a dangerous, dangerous feeling. So I try to shove it down where I don’t have to look at it.
I draw a breath, prepared to tell her that no, he’s not here. But then the sliding glass door opens behind me. On the phone screen, Riley’s gaze flicks up, and her mouth falls open, a little smudge of yogurt clinging to her bottom lip.
Slowly, I turn.
Sebastian stands in the doorway, hands braced against the doorframe in a way that makes his chest and biceps look way too good at this time of morning. He’s wearing nothing but his jeans, and they cling to his hips, accentuating the V of muscle leading down—
“Morning, beautiful.” His voice is still rough with sleep.
And it makes Riley squeak.
Sebastian’s gaze shifts, like he’s just now realizing my teenage sister on the video call. But instead of acting annoyed or embarrassed, he immediately smiles at her and lifts a hand from the doorframe to wave at the screen. “Hey.”
“Oh. My. God.” Riley puts a hand to her chest. “You’re really him.”
Sebastian looks confused for a second. “Really who?”
Before Riley can respond, I turn in my armchair so she and Seb can’t see each other anymore.
“I’ve gotta go,” I tell her.
Immediately, she opens her mouth to protest, yogurt still smudged on her lip, but I don’t let her get a word in.
“I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” I blow a kiss at the camera, then end the call just as Riley starts to argue.
The screen goes dark, and I turn to look up at Sebastian as I put my cell down on the low patio table. He’s still smiling, still looking like his own little ray of Cali sunshine.
“Good morning,” I say back. “Want some coffee?”
“I’ll get it,” he says, then steps forward to press a kiss to my forehead.
It’s so delicate and tender, I go frozen for a second, and I’ve barely thawed by the time Sebastian returns to the porch, closing the sliding door behind him before sinking into the armchair across from mine.
He’s still shirtless, and he casts his gaze out over the big desert sky as he takes his first sip of coffee.
I was attracted to him the moment I laid eyes on him in Club Caliber, but this is different.
With him reclining easily in the chair, skin shining in the morning light as he slowly drinks his first coffee of the day, he looks like someone who might actually fit here—not just in my chair or in my condo, but in my life. And the thought fucking terrifies me.
“What’s that?” he asks, pointing out over the patio railing.
I cast my gaze that way, not seeing anything. “What?”
Sebastian just laughs, and when I turn back to him, he’s snatched the second half of my bagel off my plate and is sinking his teeth into it, smiling at me around the blueberry jam.
It draws a laugh out of me, one that feels both comforting and unfamiliar.
“I can make you a bagel,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “Nope. I want yours. Tastes better that way.”
As he chews, a buzzing starts to sound from his pocket.
Holding the bagel with his teeth, he fishes his cell out of his jeans.
The moment his gaze lands on the screen, his smile falters, a furrow forming in his brow.
He looks at it for a second, like trying to decide if he should take the call or not.
“I can give you some privacy,” I say, making to stand.
But he shakes his head and silences the call, then slips the cell back into his pocket. “No, it’s not that. It’s just my dad.”
His tone is different, like storm clouds just rolled in to cover his cheerful sun.
“Is . . . everything okay?” I ask, drawing my knees up to my chest and tucking my robe in around me.
Sebastian finishes the bagel and washes it down with a sip of coffee. “He probably wants something. That’s the only reason he ever calls.”
Now I feel my face falling, especially as I remember what he told me about his father that night in Caliber. “Oh. That’s shitty.”
His gaze meets mine, and in the bright sunlight, his brown eyes appear much lighter, shot through with caramel and gold.
He regards me for a moment, then gets his smile back, and it immediately makes my chest feel lighter.
“Yeah, it is.” He lets out a low laugh. “Super shitty. But I’d much rather talk to you. ”
With a smile creeping onto my lips, I lean back in my armchair and say, “How much time do we have before your flight?”
His smile turns bashful. “Uh . . . I think I missed it already.”
My heart hits hard in my chest. “What?”
“Yeah.” He stretches his arms overhead and yawns, muscles flexing, and I realize I’m biting my lip as I watch him. “It was an early flight. I’ll have to catch a different one.”
A little spark of hope flares to life inside me. Maybe this means we could have more time together. “Are you . . . in a rush?”