chapter 29
Sebastian
MY FACE HURTS FROM FAKE smiling all day.
From early this morning, we were filming promo content: Tribe videos, posed photos, interviews under bright ring lights that have my head throbbing as I coast through Dex and Nora’s gated neighborhood in the Hills, following Dex’s Range Rover back to their place.
The sun is already going down, sending gold and coral across the California sky, and the color makes me think of my still-painted toenails.
Knowing mine match Remi’s makes me feel a bit better, and I wiggle my toes in my Vans as I pull up at the house and park.
“Nora and Jordan will be here soon with food,” Dex says as I join him and Michael.
“And beer?” Lucas asks, walking up behind me.
Michael smiles and slaps Lucas on the shoulder, making him frown. “Yeah, and beer.”
We head into the house, and River comes running to greet us, her toenails clattering across the hardwood floors.
I give her a scratch behind her ears, making her tongue loll out of her mouth, then immediately set off in search of Margot.
She has a few specific places where she likes to hang out, and I find her curled up on the back of Dex and Nora’s couch.
“There’s my favorite girl,” I say as I sink down onto the couch. She lets out a small meow as I bury my face in her warm black fur. Leaning back, I tickle her chin and say, “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Yeah, ’cause you’re in Vegas all the time now,” Lucas says from where he’s now perched on one of the stools at the marble island.
He’s probably right. Usually, I spend most of my free time with the guys, but recently, whenever we have a stretch of time that we’re not working, I’ve been flying out to see Remi.
As I rub Margot’s cheek with my thumb, I think for the thousandth time today that I wish Remi were here with me. I feel like she’d get along with the group. And she’d probably love to meet the dogs and Margot.
I didn’t fully invite her to Cali—at least, not yet—but I tried to drop a hint when I left my hoodie behind, knowing she’d find it in her bed that night.
I’m still sitting on the couch when the front door opens, and Nora and Jordan walk in carrying big paper bags from our favorite Tex-Mex place, along with two six packs of beer. Immediately, I’m hit with the smell of lime, salsa, and queso, and it makes me remember making tacos at Remi’s place.
Everything makes me think of her.
I give Margot one last chin scratch, then join everyone in the big kitchen as the women take all the food out of the greasy bags. I give Nora and Jordan hugs, then snatch up a container of chips and salsa. I drop onto the stool next to Lucas and ask, “Hey, is Alisha coming?”
A muscle in his jaw twitches. He doesn’t look at me as he says, “Nah. She had other shit to do.”
My gaze flicks up, and I catch Nora and Jordan exchanging a look, though Dex and Michael aren’t paying attention, too busy opening a few bottles of beer while River dances around their feet, waiting for a taco to fall into her big smiling mouth.
I decide not to press. Lucas was in a halfway decent mood today, and I don’t want to piss him off.
“Hey, wanna skate?” I ask instead.
Immediately, he perks up. “Sure.”
We each grab a foil-wrapped burrito, then head out front.
I grab my board from the Raptor while Lucas grabs his, and as soon as I step onto the skate deck, I start to think of her again.
I remember that night on the rooftop, the hot desert wind in my face, Remi’s laughter as I tried to land tricks I had no business messing with.
I’m still shocked I didn’t break something—or multiple somethings.
I eat my burrito with one hand while coasting around the big driveway in front of the house.
The others trickle out to join us, and Dex grabs his board, but Michael sits with Jordan instead.
Nora’s on her own, leaning against the Rover while she eats soft tacos and watches us, and I glide over to her on my board.
“Hey.” I step off and prop the board up with one foot, then gesture to it with my burrito. “You wanna learn?”
Her brown eyes widen. “How to skateboard?” She gives a quick shake of her head. “Definitely not. But thanks.”
I take another bite of my burrito, then lean against the Rover next to her, watching Dex and Lucas fuck around on their boards.
“So . . . how’s everything going with Remi?” Nora asks, voice soft. “That’s her name, right?” She looks up at me, taking another bite of her avocado taco.
“It’s . . .” I try to think of a word to describe how things are going, but I’ve never been one for fancy words, and all I can come up with is, “Awesome. It’s going awesome.”
Smiling,Nora dabs a smudge of avocado from her lip. “I’m happy for you. Are you going to invite her to visit?”
My shoulders rise and fall in a shrug, and I use one foot to roll my board forward and back. “I don’t know. I’d like to. But she’s got so much going on there. I don’t know if she’d be down for it.”
Nora bumps me gently, leaning her shoulder against me. “Well, you’ll never know if you don’t ask, right? The worst thing she can say is no.”
“Yeah. That’s true.” I take another bite of burrito, turning Nora’s words over in my head. I guess I’ve been afraid to straight up ask her, worried that it’d change things or put too much pressure on her.
“I saw that photo of you two,” Nora says, voice soft, the way it usually is. “Was she okay with it?”
I tip my head, then wince as Lucas eats shit trying to do an ollie. He spews a string of curse words as Dex laughs.
“Yes and no,” I say. “I don’t think she really cared, but it made her nervous, like it would change something between us.”
“I get that.” Done with her tacos now, Nora squishes the foil into a little ball, which she rolls between her hands as she says, “I felt a bit like that with Dex too. Like all the outside voices were going to change how he felt about me, or put so much pressure on us that everything would just collapse. It’s been a lot to adjust to.
I’m still not very good at dealing with it.
” She reaches up to tuck a strand of long light brown hair behind her ear, and the engagement ring on her finger catches the sunset light.
“What helped?” I ask. “How can I make her feel better about it?”
Nora turns, smiling up at me. “Just be there, reassure her that you don’t care about all that. If she knows she’s what’s important to you and that you don’t care what anyone else is saying, it’ll help.”
My lips curve up in a smile, and I reach out an arm, slinging it around Nora’s small shoulders and pulling her in, wedging her against my side in a tight hug. “You’re the best. Also, have I ever told you how cute you are?”
“I will kick your ass, Harris,” Dex says as he skates by, narrowing his blue eyes at me.
But Nora wraps her arms around my middle and squeezes me back. “You are too, Seb.” She leans back to look up at me, her lips tipping up on one side. “So, are you gonna stop being scared and invite her to come visit?”
Arm still wrapped around Nora’s shoulders, I watch Lucas climb back onto his board despite a cut that’s bleeding on his forearm. As he skates by, I think of him and Alisha, how things seem to be deteriorating for them, even if he won’t tell me why.
And I really don’t want that to happen with Remi. Part of me wants to keep her—us—safe in our quiet little world. But we can’t live in a Vegas fantasyland forever.
My gaze goes to the soft California sky, streaked with orange and dark pink and a bit of deep purple. I want Remi to see this. I want to introduce her to my friends and show her my world.
And I really hope she’ll want to be part of it.