After the End

Prologue

Tessa

Six Years Ago

“Have you taken it yet?” Olivia asks excitedly, her voice ringing through the phone’s speaker as I try to balance it between my cheek and shoulder.

I should have known that as soon as I mentioned feeling a little off this week, my best friend would be harassing me about taking the damn test every chance she got.

I shake my head, despite knowing she can’t see me.

“Not yet. I want to wait until Ry gets home. Whatever it says, I want him to be the first to know.” Ryan and I have been together since our junior year of high school, and we’ve been dreaming of the day we could finally start a family.

We both wanted to finish school first, and Ry wanted to get settled in with the Hartridge Police Department before we started trying.

Just the idea of a mini version of him running around has a smile spreading across my face.

“Okay,” she groans dramatically, dragging the word out. “I get wanting him to be the first person to know, but I’d better be the second!”

“You will be.” I’m not sure what time he will be home; it always varies depending on how the shift goes. “You know I’ll be letting you know either way, but probably not until tomorrow. I’ve always heard it’s best to take the test first thing in the morning.”

Olivia scoffs, but there’s a playful tone lacing her voice as she says, “You just wanna make me wait longer to find out whether or not I’m going to be an aunt.”

“If I have to wait, so do you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ryan needs to hurry up and get his ass home.”

Waiting for him to come home always feels like torture. Even when most of his shifts are fairly uneventful, I can never shake the uneasy feeling swirling in the pit of my stomach that comes with knowing he’s putting his life on the line every day.

As if on cue, my phone starts vibrating with another incoming call, Ryan Miller - Hubby flashing across the screen.

I remember fighting him when he made me change it from Hubby.

He said that if something ever happened and someone needed to use my phone to contact my loved ones or emergency contacts, having his full name listed along with who he is to me would be beneficial.

“Hey, Liv, I gotta go. Ry’s calling.”

I quickly hang up with her before swiping my finger across the screen to answer his call. She knows the drill. If he calls while he’s working, I need to answer. I don’t have time to spend another five minutes ending the conversation.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Hey, baby. I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be a little late getting home tonight.” The tone of his voice immediately sets off an internal alarm. I know he’s not able to give me too many details, but after so many years together, it’s easy for me to tell when something is wrong.

“Why? What’s going on?” I ask, trying to silence the alarm in my head and steady my voice.

“We just got a call about someone out on the bridge. Mercer and I are heading there now.”

“But you’re supposed to be home soon,” I whine.

I know he doesn’t have any control over when a call comes in, but I hate that it always seems to happen when we have plans, as if the universe is conspiring against us.

He has no idea what I have planned for us when he gets home, but I was looking forward to sharing my excitement with him.

“I know, baby. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can,” he promises, and I can hear the familiar sound of the dispatcher’s voice on the radio. “I’ve gotta go. I love you, angel.”

“I love you too, Ry. Be safe.”

It was easy enough to pass the time by keeping myself distracted with making dinner. When he still wasn’t home by the time dinner was finished cooking, I passed more time by putting everything away and cleaning the kitchen.

I’m not sure how long ago that was, but it feels like it’s been hours.

Now I’m sitting on the couch, wearing one of Ryan’s favorite hoodies, trying to distract myself with some ridiculous television show.

I tried reading a book on my Kindle, but it was too easy for my mind to wander.

I’ve been holding the box of pregnancy tests in my hand, debating whether or not I should just go ahead and take one.

I could surprise him with it when he gets home.

I’m staring blankly at the box clutched in my hands when a knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. Glancing up, I stare at the front door from across the open floor plan of the living room, unsure if the sound is real or if it’s simply my mind playing a cruel joke on me.

A few moments pass before there’s another knock.

No, no, no. Please… please just let it be some stupid kid playing a prank.

If there’s anything Ry has taught me since joining the Hartridge PD, it’s that if he’s ever out on a call and another officer shows up at our house, it means something has gone wrong.

Nausea churns in my stomach, and I swallow hard to fight back the bile threatening to rise as I peel myself off the couch and move toward the door. Pulling air into my lungs takes effort as I lean in and peer through the peephole, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Tess, it’s Zack.”

Zack Mercer.

Ryan’s partner.

He wouldn’t be here unless…

Opening the front door, my breath catches in my throat as my eyes meet his and immediately begin to fill with tears from the expression on his face. “Don’t you dare fucking say it, Zack.”

“I’m sorry, Tess. Ryan, he—”

I don’t hear his next words. My heart momentarily seizes in my chest, and with the next beat, I’m falling to my knees as my entire world crumbles around me.