Logan
Chapter thirty-four
The excitement radiating from Jake as I lead him around the firehouse is contagious.
My cheeks ache from the smile that’s been imprinted on my face since they arrived.
Tessa and my brother seemed to hit it off right away, which isn’t all that surprising.
He owns a bookstore, and she loves to read.
How could they not be friends? However, I can’t say watching them bond over a shared love of reading smut was on my bingo card.
“You sleep here?” Jake's eyes dart around the sleeping quarters. There’s nothing special about the room. It’s bare and just big enough for a couple of twin-size beds. Our station is small; there aren’t typically more than a few of us on duty at once.
“Sure do.” I laugh. “This place is basically our home while we’re working. We have to sleep here in case someone needs us in the middle of the night.”
“Can’t they wait until morning?”
Another laugh bursts from my chest. “It doesn’t work that way, little man. There’s no set time for when an emergency might happen.”
“What’s in the other rooms?” His curiosity about the sleeping arrangements quickly dissipates as he grabs my hand and tugs me down the hall. His excitement wears off when he realizes the firehouse is much like a regular house, except for our “huge garage”—his words, not mine.
“But you don’t live here all the time, right? You have another house?” he asks as we’re walking back to the main living space to join everyone for dinner.
It hits me then that I’ve spent so much time at their house, I haven’t given much thought to whether they would want to be at mine.
I figure it’s easier to end our days together at Tessa’s, where they’re most comfortable.
The more time I spend with them, the less my place feels like home.
It’s too quiet. It’s missing all of the things I’ve come to find comfort in, like the shoes piled by the front door.
The few toys left scattered around after Jake got distracted and moved on to a different activity.
The plastic cups with his favorite cartoon characters printed on them.
The random Hot Wheels or LEGO pieces left on the table or crammed between the couch cushions.
And most importantly, it’s missing them.
“I only live here while I’m working; otherwise, I have my own house. But wanna know a secret?” I crouch down, putting myself at eye-level with him.
“What?” he whispers, leaning in close.
My gaze holds his, taking in the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheekbones, his blond hair and brown eyes.
Tessa has framed photographs of her and Ryan together around their home, keeping the memory of him alive.
I never had the privilege of meeting the man who loved Tessa and helped create this little boy who has stolen my heart, but I know that Jake is the spitting image of his father.
I thought it would be weird or make me uncomfortable to be in her home and be surrounded by remnants of the love she had before me, but it’s the opposite.
There’s not a day that passes that I’m not thankful for the chance to love Tessa, but I also hate that she has experienced what it’s like to lose the person you love most in this world.
It’s not a pain I would wish on anyone. Her husband was taken from this world way too soon, and if she wants to keep his memory alive, who am I to judge that?
I haven’t told her how I feel about her yet, but what kind of man would I be if I didn’t want to do everything I possibly can to see the woman I love happy?
Even if it means keeping photos up of her late husband.
Smiling, I cup my hand around my mouth and mock whisper, “Your house is my favorite place to be.” We're far enough away from the crew and our gathered friends and family for them not to hear my words among their chatter.
His eyes widen as he smiles. “Really? Why? You don't like your house?”
“I used to like it, but now that I have you and your momma, I'd rather be where you are.”
“Do you have to live in your own house?” he asks.
“What do you mean, bud?” My stomach swoops as my breath catches in my throat, and I suddenly feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a roller coaster’s drop, like any second now I could either roll back into the abyss or plummet toward my future.
Time slows to a crawl as I wait for his response.
Does he mean what I think he does? In the recesses of my mind, I know it’s a conversation I’ll need to have with Tessa.
I’m not going to pack my bags and give up my house due to the whims of a five-year-old, but having his approval means more to me than I can explain.
“You’re always at our house. You should just stay with us.”
And just like that, my heart melts into a puddle beneath my feet.
He doesn’t wait for me to respond, turning and running off toward the large dining room table where everyone is beginning to gather.
Tess and my brother seem to have hit it off.
They’re deep in conversation about a book series they’ve apparently both read.
Cain’s fiancée, Alyssa, has taken over the kitchen and is shooing away anyone who tries to step in and help.
The more she barks orders at him and the crew, the more his eyes soften toward her.
Gray and Aaron, who is another one of the volunteers, showed up while I was giving Jake a tour and appear to be trying to start a game of cards.
Their idea for poker quickly turns to go fish when Jake reaches for a stack of cards and asks to play.
This. This right here is what I’ve been searching for.
A family—blood-related or not—that supports and looks out for one another.
That will tell you when you’ve fucked up but also help you fix your mistakes.
A family that’ll walk by your side in the dark until you’re able to find the light.
That will care for one another, no questions asked.
It’s everything I’ve been looking for and more.
And at the center of it all is the incredible woman I’m fucking head over heels in love with.
The firehouse is filled with smiles and laughter as Aaron and Kinsley try to pull everyone into various social media trends.
The Heart of Hartridge town event we have been planning is coming up, and they’re insisting on one final push to bring awareness to the event.
I wasn’t aware the thing had an official name.
Apparently, the two of them came up with the idea and have put up flyers around town as well as blasted the event on social media.
According to Tessa and Gray, the event is set to be hosted at The Stampede.
The whole idea behind the thing was to give people in town a reason to come out and get together, but when word spread that it was being hosted by the fire department, it turned into a fundraiser of sorts.
A few businesses have offered to raffle off items or services, and the money raised is being donated to our station.
As a station that’s almost completely made up of volunteers, things like this make a huge difference in what services we’re able to provide and the equipment we can afford.
Loretta over at Lori’s Diner has offered to raffle off free breakfast or lunch for one month, and Aaron’s tattoo studio and Luke’s bookstore are both raffling off gift certificates, just to name a few.
We’ve got a few fun things planned for the kids here at the station.
Jake’s excitement over a classmate’s recent birthday party having a pinata inspired the idea for a candy drop using the aerial ladder truck.
Hopefully, we’ve advertised enough that we’ll see a decent turnout.
The whole point of the event is to bring everyone together.
Hartridge may be a small town, but being located at the base of the mountain range means homes and businesses tend to be more spread out than neighborhoods in urban areas.
With any luck, the gentleman we assisted a few weeks ago will come out and socialize for a bit.
Helping him hit a little too close to home.
It reminded me of my brother and how much he tends to avoid social situations.
Luke is about as introverted as they come, and even though he avoids socializing with large groups as much as possible, the shadows in his eyes always seem lighter afterward.
Someday, I hope he’ll find someone who permanently chases away the darkness.