Tessa
Chapter forty-four
The relief that floods my system the moment my arms wrap around Logan is indescribable. In the back of my mind, I knew he was fine, but I needed to hold him and kiss him and feel his strong, steady heartbeat.
He’s safe.
The words are a mantra in my mind as we stand pressed together in my front yard. I know we can’t stay out here forever, but I’m not ready to let him go yet.
“Darlin’,” he says softly, “let’s go inside where I can hold you properly.” He gently peels my arms from around his neck and leads me inside. Logan lowers himself onto the living room couch and pulls me into his arms.
I settle my weight in his lap, straddling his hips as my head rests on his shoulder.
Strong arms encircle my body, his hand stroking soothing motions over my back, the same way he did outside.
The smell of smoke clings to his skin, but I don’t have it in me to release him just yet.
“I don’t know if I want to let you go after this,” I murmur.
His chuckle is a deep rumble beneath me, the vibration wrapping around me like a blanket. “You can hold on tight for the next forty-eight hours,” he says. “We can stay right here.”
“Jake gets out of school in a few hours.” I’m so thankful that he hasn’t been here to witness any of my stress. He’ll come home and be none the wiser.
“I’m sorry I missed breakfast,” he says, and I’m hit with a twinge of guilt.
“I don’t ever want you to be sorry for doing your job.
When it comes to work, no matter how I’m feeling, I’m not the one who needs you the most.” My words sit silently between us.
His palm continues to rub over my back until eventually our breaths sync.
“I spent a lot of time in therapy after losing Ryan. I thought I had worked through everything. I don’t know why this hit me as hard as it did. ”
“It’s okay for you to be scared or worried for me, baby. I just can’t promise that I’ll always be able to touch base with you while I’m on duty.” One hand shifts to my waist while the other slides to the nape of my neck, squeezing gently before his thumb traces my jawline. “Look at me, darlin’.”
I sit up and brace one hand on his shoulder, the other resting over his beating heart. Our gazes collide, his green irises seeming deeper than they’ve ever been.
“I will always do everything within my power to make it back to you, Tess. No flames will ever be fierce enough to keep me from fighting for you.” He says the words with such conviction that they blaze through my veins, searing into my soul.
The exhaustion painted on his face has my heart squeezing in my chest, my lips pressing into a tight smile as I slip off his lap.
I’m hit with the sudden urge to take care of him, to see to it that the scent of wildfire and smoke is washed from his skin.
Holding my hand out to him, I curl my fingers, gesturing for him to take my hand. “Come with me?” I plead.
His bleary eyes hold mine, the dark circles under them making his normally vibrant irises seem duller. Reaching forward, he slips his hand into mine and peels himself from the couch as I lead him toward the bedroom.
Our bedroom.
I don’t release his hand until we’re standing in the en suite bathroom, the shower running as the water heats. He grasps the hem of his shirt, starting to pull it off, but I halt his movement with my hand on his. “Please,” I murmur. “Let me.”
He nods as his arms drop to his sides, and I can feel the weight of his gaze as it travels over my face. His voice is ragged as he asks, “What do you need, darlin’?”
The question has me slowing my movements, my fingers trailing along the hem of his shirt. I know he’ll understand why I need to do this. Why I need to strip the clothing from his body, take my time examining every inch of him, and see for myself that he’s truly alright.
I don’t respond with a verbal answer. Gripping the bottom of his shirt, I begin to tug it off over his head, leaning up onto my tiptoes until he takes over, pulling it off the rest of the way.
He drops his shirt wordlessly to the floor, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he watches me, patiently waiting.
I trail my hands over his bare torso, starting at his chest and leisurely working my way down his abdomen until reaching the waistband of his pants.
Leaning forward, I place a chaste kiss on each shoulder before slowly moving behind him.
My fingertips drag over the smooth muscles of his back and down his spine, my gaze following their path as I check for any sign of injury.
So far, I don’t see even the barest hint of a bruise forming.
My lips press between his shoulder blades, kissing him there as he bites back a groan, his spine stiffening.
A smirk curls at the edges of my lips as I reach around to his front and pop open the button of his pants and unzip them.
The sound reverberates through the steam-filled bathroom, and a soft breath escapes me.
I don’t mean for this moment to be sexual, but I’m helpless against the way my body sings for his.
Stepping around to face him once more, a soft smile paints my lips as I lower to my knees, unlacing his boots one at a time.
He toes them off and kicks them aside, then holds his hand out for me and helps me to my feet.
My hand curls around the nape of his neck, pulling him down so I can meet his mouth with mine.
Strong, calloused fingers find my waist, grasping at my T-shirt as though he’s eager to strip it from my body.
I break our kiss with a gentle shake of my head.
I don’t want him to lift a finger right now. I can’t protect him while he’s gone, but I can take care of him while he’s home.
Logan’s hands once again fall to his sides, his chest rising and falling with deep, heavy breaths. The flames dancing in his green eyes tell me he’s aching to touch me, to remove my clothing as I’m removing his, but this moment isn’t about that.
I drag his pants down his strong thighs until they pool at his feet, and he steps out of them, kicking them away.
He’s standing before me now, wearing only his socks and boxer briefs.
My gaze trails over every inch of his legs as I slowly walk around him, taking my time to examine every inch of his skin.
By the time I’m finished removing each article of his clothing, the air surrounding us is hot and heavy. The steam’s so thick that it has completely fogged up the mirror.
I guide him beneath the water and step back to quickly undress before joining him and sliding the glass door shut. My movements are slow and measured as I wash and condition his hair, despite his grumbles that all of the attention is unnecessary.
Soaping up the loofah with his body wash and placing it against his chest, I say, “You spend so much time taking care of everyone else, Lo. Please just let me take care of you.” I run it over his skin, working the suds into a lather as I focus on each muscle group, massaging them as best I can.
The smell of smoke quickly dissipates and is replaced by the scent of warm vanilla and sandalwood.
I watch as his body visibly relaxes, all of the stress and tension melting away as he sinks into my touch.
After our shower, Logan pulls on a clean pair of boxer briefs and loose athletic shorts while I get dressed in black leggings and one of his Hartridge F.D.
T-shirts. We crawl into bed together, and he immediately wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me in close.
His body seems riddled with exhaustion, but at least the smell of smoke is no longer clinging to his skin.
I run my fingers through his hair as his eyes slowly begin to fall shut, combing his hair back off his forehead and scraping my nails gently over his scalp in the process. A deep groan of comfort emanates from his chest as he loses the battle of keeping his eyes open.
“How much longer until Jake gets out?” he mumbles.
Reaching for my phone on the nightstand, I check the time. “Just over an hour.”
His eyes flick open, and he grabs his phone, swiping his finger across the screen and opening his clock app.
“I’m gonna set an alarm so I can go with you to get him.
Will you wake me up if the alarm doesn’t?
” His voice is a gravelly rasp as he taps in the alarm and sets his phone back on the nightstand.
My response is a soft “mmhmm” as his eyes fall closed. I continue to rake my fingers through his hair, helping him to relax as he succumbs to sleep.
Having him in our bed like this, knowing he’s safe and cared for, warms my heart in an entirely new way.
I want to be the one who takes care of him always.
The one who’s there for him after the hard shifts, to comfort him or be his safe place to fall apart, should he ever need it.
Logan Bennett has become the most important person in my life, aside from my son, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
I had no idea that accidentally running into him at The Stampede and spilling my drink on him—I did not throw it—would completely alter the course of my life.