7. Lyrius
I woke up uncomfortable as hell, my neck stiff, and Dakoda halfway on top of me like always.
His arm was heavy across my stomach, his leg thrown over mine like he’d been fighting in his sleep all night.
I blinked up at the ceiling. The room was still dim, lit only by the weak flicker of those tealight candles I’d brought.
Morning was creeping in, though. I could see it in the thin strip of gray light slipping under the stairwell door.
The storm wasn’t raging like before, but it wasn’t gone either.
I could still hear it. The rain was still beating against the building, and the wind was howling like we’d pissed it off.
Dakoda shifted against me, and I shook my head.
This boy slept so wild. It always amazed me how he found it comfortable.
His arm was heavy across my stomach, and his leg was halfway off the couch like he’d been rolling all night.
I carefully lifted his arm and eased him down, sliding a pillow under his head so he wouldn’t feel the shift.
The moment I sat up on the couch, KO came into view.
He was sitting on the edge of the ring, elbows on his knees, a bottle of water in his hand, watching the room.
Watching us. Something in my chest tightened as I gazed at his fine ass.
He looked like he hadn’t slept all night.
Like he had a lot on his mind. I knew I had caused that.
“You been up long?” I asked, and his eyes flicked to me.
“Long enough,” he replied. I nodded, swinging my legs over the side of the couch.
My body felt off. My mind felt worse. Being this close to him again wasn’t something I knew how to navigate yet.
I took a deep breath, attempting to push down all the uneasiness that was floating through me, but there was really no use.
I was probably going to be feeling this way for the foreseeable future.
I rose to my feet and glanced toward the stairwell, then back at him.
I needed to use the bathroom. I’d been holding it since last night.
“Is it safe to go upstairs?”
“Yeah, the worst of it already passed. Just don’t go near the windows, and wear shoes.” I nodded, reaching for my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. “Watch him for me?”
“You good. I got him.” His eyes dropped to Dakoda, then came back to me.
Something about the way he said that sat in my chest for a second too long, but I couldn’t think about that.
If I waited any longer, pee was about to be running down my legs.
I slid my feet into my slippers and turned, making my way toward the stairs.
There were only two bathrooms in this building, and I wasn’t about to go downstairs and deal with whatever was going on with the storm, so upstairs it was.
I started climbing one step at a time, the air getting cooler the higher I went.
Faint light was coming from up top, just enough to guide me.
Halfway up, I glanced down over the railing and paused.
There was water pooling on the lower levels.
Not just a little bit either, enough that it had to be covering the first two floors.
Yeah . . . I definitely wasn’t going down there. I kept moving up the stairs.
By the time I reached the top, my bladder was about to explode.
I pushed the door open slowly and froze.
I wasn’t ready for sight in front of me.
The windows were shattered. The boards KO had nailed up were ripped down, some hanging crooked, most scattered across the floor.
Glass was everywhere, and rain was blowing in through the windows.
“Oh my God . . .” I gasped as I stepped carefully through the space, avoiding the glass and debris, my stomach tightening with each step.
The storm had done more damage than I thought.
And if it looked like this here . . . I didn’t even want to think about what my apartment might look like.
I made my way to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, locking it out of habit.
The second I turned toward the toilet, I didn’t even bother thinking twice.
I just went, letting out a long breath as I released into the toilet.
“Jesus . . .” I muttered under my breath as I stood.
I flushed, washed my hands, then finally looked up.
For a second, I just stood there, staring at myself in the mirror.
I looked . . . tired. Not just from yesterday, but from everything.
All twenty-eight years of my life had been exhausting.
I reached into my bag and pulled out my toothbrush and toothpaste.
Hurricane or not, I was taking care of myself.
I brushed my teeth slowly then grabbed a paper towel, dampened it, and wiped under my arms and my neck, freshening up the best I could.
It wasn’t ideal, but it was something. I grabbed another paper towel and did the same to my face before walking them over to toss them in the trash.
“Is that . . .” My voice trailed off. Something small and gold caught my eye, barely peeking out from under the paper towels.
My breath hitched. My hand stilled. Then, without thinking, I reached down and picked it up.
The gold hoop earring. The ones KO gave me on our first anniversary.
I stared at it, and for a second, everything stopped.
I shouldn’t have picked it up, but I couldn’t help myself.
After I left Azalea the way I did, I thought I’d never see these again.
To anybody else, it was just a gold earring.
But to me? It was the first thing anybody had ever given me that didn’t come with strings attached.
I twirled the hoop between my fingers, my mind racing.
What was this doing here? Five years later .
. . and pieces of me were still here. Still in his space.
Still in his life. Yeah, it ended up in the trash, but it took five years to get there.
That had to count for something. I closed my hand around it, then slipped it into the pocket of my leggings before I could think too hard about it.
I turned and headed out, moving quicker this time.
The building creaked as I made my way back down the stairs, the sound of the storm getting louder the lower I got.
By the time I reached the bottom, that heaviness was back.
When I stepped into the room, nothing had changed.
KO was still on the ring. Dakoda was still knocked out on the couch, curled up like the world wasn’t falling apart outside.
I let out a small breath and moved toward the table where KO had set the food.
“You mind if I make something to eat?” I asked.
He didn’t answer, just nodded, his eyes still on me.
I looked over at what he had laid out. There were a few protein bars, some crackers, a box of cereal, and a half-empty bag of bagels.
I exhaled softly. I could work with this.
I grabbed what I needed and got to work, moving on instinct more than anything.
I pulled the sanitizer from my bag, cleaning my hands before touching anything.
Then I split the bagels, setting them on a paper plate and holding them over the candle flame.
“This better work,” I muttered. I rotated them slowly, letting the edges crisp just enough without burning them. Once they were ready, I spread peanut butter over each one, stacking them onto plates. It wasn’t fancy, but it was food. I grabbed Dakoda’s plate first and walked it over to the couch.
“Dakoda,” I said softly, nudging his shoulder. “Baby, wake up. I have breakfast.” He groaned, rolling toward me, reaching without opening his eyes, burying his face into my side. Yeah, he wasn’t getting up.
“His little ass should be tired,” KO said, making me glance back over my shoulder. “Had us up at three in the morning.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah,” KO confirmed from behind me. “Storm woke him up.”
I shook my head, setting Dakoda’s plate down on the coffee table within reach for when he did wake up.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, letting out a small laugh.
“It’s cool. He was straight. Gave him some cereal.
Showed him a couple of punches. He was back out in like forty minutes.
” That did something to me. I glanced between them for a second before turning back toward the table.
I grabbed the remaining two plates. One for me and one for KO. Then I made my way over to the ring.
“Breakfast is served.” I held his plate out. He looked at it and then at me.
“You ain’t have to do that.”
“I did. You need to eat.”
His eyes stayed on me a second longer, then he took it. His fingers brushed mine, and I felt that shit all the way up my arm. “Thank you,” he said.
“Mind if I sit?”
“Nah.”
I nodded and climbed up onto the edge of the ring, sitting beside him.
Not too close, but not far either. For a second, it was just quiet.
All that could be heard was the storm outside and the sound of us chewing.
My fingers tightened slightly around my plate.
My mind was racing. There was so much I needed to say to him.
So much I should’ve said back then. Before things got messy.
Before feelings got involved. Before everything spiraled into something I couldn’t control.
I glanced at him. I didn’t even know where to start, so I started at the beginning.
“I was gonna get taken.” The words slipped out before I could overthink them.
My chest tightened instantly, but I had to keep going.
“I heard some teachers talking about it. The school called it in. Said something wasn’t right at home.
” I paused, picking at the edge of the bread, my eyes dropping to my hands.
“My mama wasn’t . . . She wasn’t there. Not for real.
She’d disappear for days, weeks sometimes.
It depended on whatever man she was with at the time. Lights off. No food. Nothing.”