16. KO
“Keep your damn hands up.” Pops’ glove clipped the side of my head again.
“Shit.”
“That makes five!” he shouted. “Five hits I shouldn’t have gotten off.”
“Boy rusty as hell.” Jaylen laughed from outside the ring.
“I ain’t rusty.”
“You right.” Jaylen pointed. “You distracted.”
I adjusted my stance and circled Pops again.
The truth was, Jaylen was right. My mind hadn’t been in the gym all morning.
Hell, it hadn’t really been in the gym all week.
It was with Lyrius. It was with Dakoda. It was with that damn schedule she’d been trying to talk to me about since the aquarium, the same schedule I thought I wanted but didn’t know if I wanted anymore.
This morning should’ve been about Dakoda.
His first day of kindergarten. Instead, it was awkward as hell.
We pulled up in separate cars after leaving the same apartment.
We walked into the school together and stood next to each other without talking while his teacher welcomed him to class.
We took some pictures and then turned around and acted like we weren’t sleeping ten feet apart every night.
That shit felt stupid. It seemed like the closer we got to figuring out this co-parenting arrangement, the more I realized I didn’t want one.
I wasn’t interested in every other weekend pick-ups and drop-offs, splitting holidays and shit.
That wasn’t the family I wanted for my son.
“KO!” Pops’ voice snapped me back to the present a split second too late, because his glove was already cracking me upside my head.
“Shit!” I hissed again.
“Six!” Pops shook his head as I stumbled back. “Break.” Pops held up his hand.
I dropped onto the stool in the corner and grabbed my water bottle. Jaylen immediately walked over.
“Baby mama drama eating that boy up.”
“I don’t have baby mama drama.”
“Then why did you just let Pops beat your ass for thirty minutes?”
“You wanna tell us what’s got you distracted?” Pops sat down beside me and started adjusting the tape around his wrist.
“Nah.” I took a long pull from my water.
“It’s Lyrius.” Jaylen didn’t even hesitate. “Definitely Lyrius.”
“Nigga, shut up.” I laughed.
“It is, though. Let me guess. Y’all fucking again.”
I looked away immediately, and that told both of them everything.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen.” I rubbed the back of my neck, and Jaylen barked out a laugh.
“Nigga, you moved into your baby mama’s house.” I frowned. “And slept under the same roof with shorty. Like she ain’t have you pussy whipped out yo’ damn mind at one point. What exactly you thought was gon’ happen?”
Pops chuckled. “Exactly, Son.”
“What?” Both of us looked at him because Pops rarely agreed with Jaylen.
He shrugged. “Lyrius always seemed like a sweet girl. You were so in love with that girl you couldn’t think straight.” He pointed at me. “She got yo’ son. I don’t see why you are around her tripping off a little sex. You need to be marrying the damn girl.”
“Nah. We weren’t supposed to be on that type of time, Pops.”
“Why the hell not?”
“’Cause Lyrius was sent to feed information back to the people that shot me!”
There. I’d finally said the shit out loud. I looked up, expecting somebody to react. I expected Jaylen to cuss. I expected Pops to say something. Instead, they just looked at me the same way they’d been looking at me this whole damn conversation, and that was when it clicked.
“Y’all knew?” My eyes narrowed.
“Kinda.” Jaylen rubbed his beard.
I pointed at him, and Jaylen sighed. “What the fuck do you mean, kinda?”
“As many bodies as we dropped trying to clean that mess up, you really think her name never came up?”
I stared at him, trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’d known of Lyrius’s involvement this whole time and had never said shit.
“Then why the fuck you ain’t say nothing?”
“’Cause I knew you loved that girl. I wasn’t about to break your heart.”
“You serious?” I stared at him.
“Dead serious.”
I shook my head, and my eyes immediately went to Pops. “And he told you.”
“Nope, but I had my own suspicions.” Pops nodded.
“Wow. All this time, I’m thinking I’m saving face, and y’all already knew.” I shook my head.
“I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you’d say something.” Jaylen shrugged.
“So if y’all know . . .”—I rubbed my jaw—“then y’all get why this shit can’t go nowhere.” My eyes bounced between them. Neither one of them said anything.
“Nah.” Pops shook his head immediately. “I know why you think it can’t. Fear makes people do stupid shit, Son, especially when they think they ain’t got no good options.”
“What you saying, Pops?”
“I’m saying, did she pull the trigger?”
“No.” I looked at Pops, confused.
“Did she rob you?”
“No.”
“Did she send them after you?”
“Nah, she didn’t know they were coming that night.”
“Seems like the girl’s worst mistake wasn’t wanting you hurt; it was waiting too long to tell the truth.”
“So we just letting her off the hook now? That’s not street code.”
“That’s where you’re confusing shit, Son.” Pops shook his head. “Ain’t no street code when it comes to love.” His eyes found mine. “Don’t confuse a bad decision with a bad person.”
I sat there, staring at the floor. I’d spent so much time focused on surviving what happened between us, I never stopped to think about what came next.
I used to think that if I ever saw Lyrius again, I’d finally get the closure I’d spent five years chasing.
It turned out surviving something and rebuilding after it weren’t the same thing.
Because sitting there, listening to Pops, I realized I wasn’t looking for closure anymore.
I was trying to figure out if Lyrius and I still had something worth rebuilding.
“She’s tied to the worst day of my life, Pops. How do I get past that?”
“She’s also tied to one of the best.” Pops patted me on the shoulder, and I already knew he was talking about Dakoda. “Your son.”
“You found out you had a son by Lyrius and moved cities in a day,” Jaylen added. “That’s not normal shit, and I don’t think that was only about Dakoda.”
“He got a point.” Pops laughed as the gym doors opened before I could argue. All our heads turned, and as if we’d spoken her up, Lyrius walked inside carrying a takeout bag in one hand and a red folder in the other.
“Well.” Jaylen slapped his thighs. “I’ma see myself out before you put us out.” He started walking toward the exit, and Pops followed.
“Same here. I done worked up an appetite whupping yo’ ass all morning.” Pops stopped when he reached Lyrius. “Hey, baby. It’s good seeing you.”
“Hey, Pops.” She waved shyly, and he pulled her into a quick hug.
I watched Pops hug Lyrius the same way he always had, as if nothing had changed. Hell, maybe I was the only one still trying to figure out what to do with the past.
“Now listen . . .” Pops stared at her. “I know you better bring my grandson to see me.”
“I will.” Lyrius laughed.
“I get keeping him away from this knucklehead.” He pointed at me, and I shook my head at the betrayal. “But me?”
“I’m sorry, Pops.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just bring my grandson.” He kissed the top of her head before heading out the door.
“Tell my nephew his favorite uncle said what’s up.” Jaylen stopped next to her.
“You’re his only uncle, Jaylen.” Lyrius rolled her eyes.
“Same difference.” Jaylen grinned before pointing at me. “Figure it out,” he said before disappearing out the gym. A few seconds later, it was just Lyrius and me.
“I brought lunch.” She held up the takeout bag and then the folder. “And paperwork.” I groaned immediately. Was she still on that shit?
“Are you gonna come out of the ring?”
“Nah.” I grabbed the blanket we’d left folded in the corner and tossed it onto the canvas. “You can come in.”
Lyrius made her way to me and climbed through the ropes, putting all her ass on display as she bent over. She barely got into the ring good before the smell of lemon pepper hit me, and I knew what she had in the takeout bag.
“You still like lemon pepper wings, right?” She handed me a container as she sat across from me.
“They my favorite.” I looked inside the container.
“I figured.” A small smile pulled at her lips, and for a second, neither one of us said anything. We just sat there eating. Then she opened that damn folder.
“Okay, so I think this is probably the best schedule. Obviously, if there’s something you want changed, we can talk about it. And holidays are flexible.”
My eyes moved down the page. It was pretty standard shit. Every other weekend. One evening during the week, alternating holidays and summer breaks. The schedule was reasonable. Exactly what I’d asked for.
“On the weekends you don’t have him, you can always come by and see him. And if there’s a school event or—”
“Nah.”
She stopped talking. “What?”
“I don’t want a schedule.” I closed the folder and tossed it in her lap. Confusion flashed across her face.
“KO.”
“I’m serious, Lyrius.”
“This whole time, you’ve been talking about a schedule, and now you don’t want one?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want?” She stared at me.
I looked down at the food, then at her, then back at the folder sitting on her lap. The answer felt a whole lot easier now than it had thirty minutes ago.
“I don’t want to move out.”
“What?”
“I don’t want Dakoda bouncing between two houses.”
“KO.” She sighed. “Us living together isn’t realistic.”
“Why not?”
“Because—” She stared at me for a second. Like she wasn’t sure where I was going with this. “Because we’re not together, and lines are crossing.”
“What if we were?” The words slipped out before I could stop them.
“What?” Lyrius blinked.
“What if we were?”
Her mouth opened and closed like she didn’t know what to say. “KO, what are you talking about?”
I laughed softly and rubbed my jaw. I was tired of this shit. Jalen and Pops were right. I’d brought my ass to Shoreline for more than just Dakoda, and I was tired of pretending.
“I love you, Lyrius.”
“What?” Her eyes widened.
“I love you. I spent five years trying to hate you and couldn’t. That’s how I knew I was still in love.” The words barely left my mouth before I leaned forward and kissed her. She gasped against my lips, and the folder slipped from her lap as I grabbed her waist and pulled her onto my lap.
“I love you too,” she whispered, and that was all it took.
I grabbed her face and kissed her again.
She wrestled with my shorts while I held her against me.
Neither one of us could slow down now that we’d finally said the shit we’d been carrying around all these years.
My hands found her thighs on instinct. Her sundress gathered higher as I lowered her down onto my already hard dick.
Her tight, wet walls sucked me in like a riptide, and a collaborative moan escaped our lips.
Five years, and somehow, she still felt like home.
I kissed her forehead. Her cheek. Her mouth.
Anywhere I could reach as she moved up and down on my dick.
“KO . . .” she moaned.
“Nah.” I shook my head, gripped her ass, and rocked her against me. “Come here,” I said as if I wasn’t already damn near inside her cervix.
“I want us,” I admitted, an immediate rush of pleasure shooting through me. “I want Dakoda.” Her eyes squeezed shut as I met her rhythm with thrusts. “I want my family, Lyrius.”
“Mm . . .” A soft whimper slipped from her throat, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face against me like she was finally letting herself believe this was real. “You really mean that?” she whispered.
“Every word.” I pumped into her harder from below, like it could make up for years we had lost. “You hear me?” I kissed her lips again, and she nodded like she was too stuffed with dick to speak.
“Do you hear me, Bad?” I asked her again. Lyrius knew I liked to hear when I was digging out those guts.
“Yes! Yes! I hear you, KO.”
“Dakota,” I corrected, and her head lifted immediately, like she was surprised I’d given her access to that part of a nigga again.
“Dakota!” she moaned, her head falling back into my neck as she rode me.
We stayed there for a moment, fucking each other, filling the room with the sounds of her moans and our skin slapping.
The way her pussy was squeezing me, I couldn’t even believe that I’d ever tried to convince myself that I was over her.
Shit, that had to be the biggest lie ever told.
“I’m cumming!” Her nails dug into my back, and I dug my hands into her fat ass cheeks and slammed her down on my dick. There was no way I wasn’t about to cum with her.
“Oh, fuck!”
“Shit!” I was about to release. Her walls were hugging the shit out of me and sending juices spilling everywhere. Her body started shaking on top of me, and I let my nut coat the inside of her walls.
“Mhm.” She attempted to roll off of me, but I held her there, kissing her forehead as our breathing returned to normal.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“I need to take you on a date.”
“A date?” she confirmed softly, still trying to catch her breath.
“Yeah. I don’t want to waste any time. I want us to start fresh. I want us to start right.”
“Okay.” She nodded, and I pulled her down on the ring floor with me and kissed the top of her head.
“Okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed.