Chapter 33
Staying – harder than running away. Scarier, too.
Chloe
“I s everything okay?” I ask Lucas once we’re finally in bed.
We’re both exhausted and ready for sleep. It took a while for Natalia to settle down. She was understandably upset when we returned home and her mom was gone. And hadn’t bothered to leave a message for her. But I need to know what happened between Lucas and Holly.
He climbs into bed next to me. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but I do.”
I roll over to face him. “Tell me what?”
“Holly is suing for custody of Natalia.”
That bitch doesn’t deserve to have a daughter. With more control than I thought possible, I keep my tone calm. “We knew this was bound to happen. It’s why we got married in the first place.”
He cringes. “About our marriage…”
“What is it?”
He cups my chin. “Holly knows our marriage started out fake.”
I gasp. “But how? My friends and family know but they wouldn’t tell anyone. Small towns love to gossip but they know how to keep secrets, too.”
He brushes the hair off of my forehead. “I don’t know how she knows. I don’t know what she knows. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she claims we got married to fool the judge into granting me custody.”
My stomach dips. This is worse than I thought. I can’t believe Holly knows.
“It’s going to be okay.” He wraps his arms around me and draws me near. I melt into his arms where I feel safe. The only place I’ve ever felt completely safe and accepted.
He kisses my hair. “Go to sleep. We’ll talk to a lawyer this week and figure things out.”
Within minutes, Lucas’s breathing evens out. But I can’t sleep.
Thoughts churn round and round in my mind. Would Lucas be better off if I weren’t in the picture? Will it hurt his chances of keeping custody of Natalia if the judge finds out our marriage is fake?
Should I leave?
Should I stay?
When the first streams of daylight are visible through the window, I still don’t have an answer. I think I know what I need to do, but I’m afraid.
I’m a coward. I don’t want to lose what I’ve found with Lucas. My one safe place where the loneliness doesn’t plague me. Where I can forget all about my past.
I crawl out of bed and dress quickly before sneaking out of the house and biking to the brewery. I’ll have some privacy here since the place is still locked up tight.
I sit behind my desk and switch on my computer. Time to do some research. Fingers crossed I won’t have to leave Lucas to secure Natalia’s safe and happy future.
“I found her!” Sophia shouts. “She’s in her office.”
I lift my head off my desk and brush my hair out of my face. I must have fallen asleep.
“Do you have to be loud?”
“Don’t yell at me for being loud. I wasn’t the one who snuck out of my house and freaked my husband out.”
“Lucas is freaked out? Why didn’t he message me?”
I dig my phone out of my bag and notice it’s on silent. I cringe when I see I have two missed calls from Lucas and one from Sophia. “Oops.”
Sophia enters the room and sits in a chair across from me. “What’s going on? Why did you sneak off this morning?”
Maya strolls into the room. “Maybe she was overwhelmed by her love for Lucas and ran.”
I roll my eyes. “My life is not a romantic novel.”
“It’s pretty romantic, though,” Nova says as she joins us.
Paisley pokes her head in the room. Great. The gang’s all here. So much for having privacy this morning.
“Can we stop beating around the bush now?” Paisley asks. “I assume Chloe’s here because Lucas’s ex-wife arrived on the island yesterday and caused a scene.”
“Chloe,” Sophia tsks. “I thought you were done running from Lucas.”
“I’m not running. I’m thinking.”
“About what?”
Nova peers over my shoulder at my computer. “This isn’t good.”
I slam my laptop shut but I’m too late. She already saw my research.
“You’re worried Lucas is going to lose custody of Natalia,” she says.
“Of course, I’m worried. Lucas loves Natalia. He would be devastated to lose her.”
Paisley taps her toes. “But this isn’t why you’re at the brewery before the office opens.”
I duck my chin and study my fingernails. “Yes, it is.”
Sophia glances back and forth between Paisley and me. “What’s going on? And why does Paisley know?”
“I know because I know Chloe.” Paisley clears her throat. “She’s going to leave Lucas.”
Nova sighs. “Really, Chloe. Why would you throw your happiness away?”
Maya frowns. “But you love him.”
It’s because I love him. I don’t want him to have to choose between Natalia and me. He will always choose Natalia. Which is the only choice I’d accept anyway.
Sophia plants her hands on my desk and leans close to study my face. “She actually thinks she’s doing the right thing.”
“I knew I should have stopped at Pirates Pastries on my way here.” Maya aims for the door. “If we’re going to persuade Chloe to stay with Lucas, we need drinks. I’ll make mimosas.”
I rush after her. “You are not getting your hands on my bar.”
Maya giggles. “But I got you out of your chair, didn’t I?”
Sophia, Nova, Maya, and Paisley perch on the barstools while I gather champagne and orange juice to make mimosas.
“I’m first,” Sophia declares. “Leaving Lucas is stupid.”
Paisley frowns at her. “How is this a good argument?”
Sophia shrugs. “Chloe hates it when she does stupid stuff.”
She’s not wrong. But leaving Lucas isn’t stupid.
“You love him,” Maya says. “You should be together.”
I shrug and pop open the champagne bottle.
Sophia slams her hands down on the bar. “Holy bootleggers in heaven! Chloe loves Lucas!”
“What are you talking about?” I hedge. I haven’t told Lucas I love him yet. I’m not telling my friends first.
“Maya claimed you love Lucas several times now and you haven’t contradicted her once.”
Time to change the subject before I end up declaring my love for a man I can’t have. “Whether I love Lucas or not doesn’t matter.”
Maya gasps. “How can it not matter? Love is the only thing that matters.”
“You really need to stop reading romance novels.”
“You can pry my romance novels from my cold, dead fingers.”
“Don’t tease Maya,” Nova urges. “She loves romance. There’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy now and again.”
I salute her. “Yes, Ms. Sunshine.”
“Being an optimist is not a negative personality trait no matter how much you make fun of me.”
Ugh. Now, I’m being a bitch. “Sorry, Nova. I love your sunshiny personality.” Just not right now.
I concentrate on mixing our drinks as I explain, “If Lucas has a better chance of winning a custody suit if I’m out of the picture, it’s better if I leave him.”
“This is ridiculous!” Sophia shouts. “You married him to give him a better chance of winning a custody suit.”
“True. But we assumed his bitchy ex-wife wouldn’t find out about our arrangement.”
Her brow wrinkles. “She found out? How?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I trust every single person who knows the truth.”
“I believe it’s immaterial,” Paisley says.
I pause pouring the champagne. “Explain.”
“Your relationship is obviously real now. A judge will observe the two of you together and conclude the same. There’s no reason to leave Lucas.”
Is she right?
“Maybe,” I mutter as I finish pouring the champagne and add the orange juice.
I set a glass in front of each woman but when I reach Nova she holds up a hand. “None for me, thanks.”
“But you love mimosas.”
“Not today. My tummy is acting funny.”
Uh oh. Nova is a bit of a hypochondriac. She has her reasons, which is why we don’t push her.
“More for me.” I swipe her glass and replace it with one filled with pure orange juice.
Sophia lifts her glass in the air. “To Chloe making good choices!”
“To love!” Maya shouts.
I sip on my drink, but I don’t think my friends will agree with my choices. Because despite what Paisley said, I can’t chance Lucas losing Natalia. I don’t want either one of them to suffer. I love them too much.
I would do anything for them. Including break my own heart.