Onidus 9
I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror aboard my ship. The moment I entered and closed the ramp, I felt relief.
I shouldn’t be here. Viriden should’ve sent someone else.
My gold mask sits on the counter. The scar that cuts deep into my upper lip, up my cheek, and over my eye, the eye I almost lost to that Myndrous blade years ago, still disgusts me.
She doesn’t deserve to be with this.
Solara should be with someone attractive that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of being seen with.
I brace myself on the counter and rub my eyes with a hand.
But she didn’t treat her scars.
I think back to the one on her forehead, at the edge of her hairline, from when she stumbled as we ran and smacked it on a busted hovercar.
She could have. Should have. I don’t want her beautiful skin marred by the past. I want her to move on and be happy, forget what we had to do to endure.
When she took my hand and led me to the bar, it opened up a memory of clinging to her for hope. She thought I was saving her from the Nebulous Empire, but she was the one who saved me, held me together when I had no reason left to fight.
The red planet comes back to mind. The smoking buildings, charred ships, and the ash that used to be life. It all hangs heavily in my soul.
“Sir.” ION Striker calls to me.
“What?” I quietly ask.
“You were so nervous before the race. Now, you are…sad. Why?”
“I found her.”
“Your target, the one you need to protect?”
“Yes.”
“Shouldn’t you be with her?”
I should be. But I’m falling apart inside.
“Onidus?”
“I can track her on my wristband.”
“Why not be with her? Isn’t that the mission?”
I hang my head and wonder why I picked him.
But I know why. Guilt is more powerful than most emotions for me because it is a unique kind of pain.
It burns deep, with a sickening itch I want to scratch to heal what was broken.
But I can’t. I can’t bring him back. I can only keep him around, drag out his existence because I’m not ready to let go.
It’s selfish, like wanting Solara for myself. That’s not why I’m here.
My mission and my soul are in a whole new battle inside of me. I’m tearing apart.
“Is now a bad time to tell you Viriden is calling?”
I fume for a moment before I can calm the light in my veins enough to be presentable. “Put him through.”
Viriden appears on the screen beside my mirror. I clip my mask back on and walk in front of the screen. “Sir.”
“You found her. Good.”
“Please tell me what is going on.”
He sighs and looks away. “I can’t really explain the potential dangers of the situation because I don’t have specifics. We just needed to get someone there to be with her.”
“But you picked me. Why?”
“I know she’s important to you. You will be most effective. You two have a bond that most will never understand.”
He doesn’t know what it’s doing to me. “At least tell me what you know. You owe me that for putting me in this fucking game.”
Viriden tilts his head. “You need the vacation more than you admit.”
“But I’m working.” I sway and clutch my head. “I am…”
“Compromised. I know. I watched the race. You sold it well.”
“Sold it?” I stand for a moment, shocked and unsure what to feel or think.
Viriden draws in a deep breath. “My contact on Earth told me she freed a Neb motherlink from a downed vessel in a Myndrous invasion zone. Since she showed up with the chip, the invasions have stopped. Which means they were going after the chip. He is working with us regarding the chip. He didn’t want her to have more people on her ass than she already does, so the Earthen feds learned about it through me. ”
“She scavenged a Myndrous-designated Neb vessel?” I ask.
“From what I’m told.”
Solara isn’t the same shy, cautious girl I remember.
“While Ohni has assured me they have Myndrous shields and Neb defense systems in place now, I don’t trust that they will ever be enough.”
“They rarely are,” I mutter. “So what’s the plan?”
“She needs to be guarded by an adequate species, find a male that can take her somewhere safe.”
“None of us are safe. There is no place she can go that’s impervious to Neb influence except maybe Amphir. She doesn’t seem interested in them.”
“Are you sure?”
I’m not.
“Well, keep her safe until she picks a species that can do what they must. You need to talk to them, find out if they can handle a security-risk female.”
“Why didn’t we just pick her up?”
“Because that would be too obvious.”
“We could just say we were opening the Delsfein case again, and we needed to revisit what she knew.”
“Why would we do that?” he asks.
“Because of the recent attempt to annihilate Roscazkans in a similar fashion.”
Viriden studies me for a long moment. “Interesting that you connect those two incidents. Dalsfeins were not gifted, not useful for Neb Helarina machines to the best of our knowledge. But they were private with their spiritual rituals. Perhaps we missed something.”
“Why else would the empire invade Delsfein?” I ask. “They were like Solurias, teleporters. I watched the last of their species vanish in an ancient portal, just not to a location in this dimension. At least that’s what Solara told me.”
Viriden stills. “What did you say?”
I pace away from the sink. “They made me promise not to tell a soul. Only Solara knows because she helped me save them.”
He gets up. “You withheld this information from me? I’m your commanding officer!”
Anger boils up in me. “No one came for us for weeks! I had to fight off the empire by myself at fourteen! My parents were ash! My brother! My friends! Everyone in that camp except the pregnant females, their mates, and one elder, Tescha, who were all hiding in the deep cavern.
“I held off the Myndrous and the Nebs until the last of the Delsfein turned into clouds of light on the platform and vanished. Elder Tescha said they would be safe wherever they were going, another dimension. Then they disappeared!
“Solara and I were the only ones who saw it. And we only escaped because we were small enough to crawl through the tunnels that the Nebs and their new monsters couldn’t fit through. And now you’re putting me here, asking me to protect her and send her off with someone else I don’t trust.”
Viriden eases back into his seat. “Onidus…”
“You sent her home when she didn’t want to go!” I’m breaking protocol, but I’m crumbling under the weight of urges I can’t rein in and responsibilities with universe-wide consequences.
He pinches the space between his brows. “I knew you were friends but…”
“She means more to me than anyone. And the Delsfein didn’t want their secret to get out because of the potential for abuse to their homeworld’s last portal.
” I draw in a deep breath. “This is extremely hard for me because when I had no one out there, when I was alone against that entire faction of Nebulous and their fucking dogs, Solara bandaged my wounds. She stayed. She helped the Delsfein make it to their teleport pad. And now I’m supposed to let her go with some prick who thinks she’s just another female to churn out offspring?
No. I’m not… I can’t. She must be with someone who sees her skill and her potential more than just… that.”
He licks a lip, then chews it like he didn’t realize what situation we were getting ourselves into.
“If the Nebs find out she’s back in the game, they are going to come for her, sir. I need full immunity on this one. Solara is the last person to see the Delsfein other than me.”
“No.”
“I have to be able to do what is necessary to protect her. I am going to do it, whether you give it to me or not.”
He leans back in his seat. General Viriden is uncharacteristically still for longer than I’ve known him to be. He is always busy, making decisions and directing the fleet and forces. He never stops moving.
“Show me your Vibrance orb.”
I rest a hand over the center of my chest on instinct, sense how it has grown in power, how it hums in me and pulses in the pattern of a Bonded Isonian. I try to summon the energy to conceal it from him, but it doesn’t want to be hidden.
“Onidus.” He slumps sideways and rests an elbow on an armrest. “No Masking. I’ll know.”
I close my eyes and hate that I can’t hide it or control it. Drawing the Vibrance orb from my body, I support it in my palm. My body darkens to a lightless humanoid. The chill is familiar. It is similar to that of nearing death.
We are vulnerable in this state, and it makes me nervous with every second that he stares and doesn’t give me the okay to return my soulfire to my body.
“Sir,” ION Striker calls. “Solara is standing outside the ship and calling for you.”
My Vibrance betrays me, flaring brighter and stronger.
The screen splits to a view of Viriden on the left and Solara on the right.
General Viriden sighs and waves a hand, signaling that I can put my soulfire back in my body.
“I had hoped, Onidus, that sending you to the race might help you remember your mortality and your need for human connection. I figured knowing her would help you earn her trust and keep her safe. This complicates things.”
“You know I love to do that.”
Viriden smirks lightly. “Go on then.”
“Sir… I don’t want…”
“It’s fine. I had hoped to keep you in service a while longer.”
“I’m not leaving.”
His gaze drifts back to mine. “I’m sorry?”
I sigh in frustration. “I don’t want her to pick me.”
He sits forward. “Onidus, I do not expect you to forgo a bond of such importance for the sake of your service in my fleet.”
“I don’t want to be with her.” A pang shoots through my chest.
He eyes me. “You’re a terrible liar. The universe does not pick our Bonds on a whim.”
“How can you say that? Does it not feel every day that somehow the universe betrayed you?”
Viriden hides his mouth behind a fist. “Yes, sometimes, it does. My wife did not deserve to die the way she did. So I understand why you hesitate.”
“It’s not just that.” It’s the way she studied my mask and my augmented eye that eats at me. “I am not good enough for her.”
“I think maybe this race is how you will find out if she feels the same way.” Viriden eases back in his chair again.
“Keep her safe. See where things go. Watch out for trouble. We’re still digging into that chip’s stored data.
But the Nebs may come for her, just for a different reason than I had anticipated. ”
“Yes, sir.”
Viriden reaches for his com link, then pauses. “You need to let her see you for who you really are. Without the masks that you hide behind. That’s the only way to know for sure.”
I rasp a breath in agonizing anticipation and look away, hating the idea of her being with someone as fucked up as me. “She deserves better.”
“That’s up to her, not you.”
Viriden ends the call.
I’m going to make damn sure she’s only with a male that I approve of.
“ION, is she still outside?”
“No, sir. She’s headed back down the males’ wing. I think she’s still looking for you.”