Solara 15
All night, I dream of Onidus under the moonlight, smiling and laughing like he doesn’t have scars or worries or duties to keep him from telling me his funny story about how Ryz once had a cat. Except, I barely know who Ryz is, and Isonians don’t have cats.
I wish I could help him heal. But it’s just a dream.
I always dream in color. But this is one of the rare ones where I can feel everything. I can feel Onidus’ fingers rubbing my shoulder, his warm arm stretched across the backrest, and the heat of his hard body against my side as he tells me his story.
You know, that small furry thing with a tail that likes milk and mice and hanging from the curtains, he says in my mind. Ryz secretly is a big softie.
I remember Onidus as the teenager trying to save the world and still not lose himself in the mayhem and telling me stories of his childhood, of embarrassing moments in training and pranks they used to play on one another.
I think back to it even as older Onidus reclines on the bench in my dream under the starlight and tells me that Ryz almost lost an eye.
Then he laughs as the dream swirls with blurry spots. I told him we could be the one-eyed team, watch each other’s backs.
I wish he wanted me. But I don’t think Onidus believes he would be a good mate or lover. And he didn’t choose to come here. But I noticed the way he held me when the night got cold. I can’t tell whether it’s his protective nature or something deeper he doesn’t show others that drove his actions.
I wake to the memory of Onidus leaning close and the soft touch of affection from him. I had finally crashed and barely roused at his contact. But as I wake now, I’m certain he kissed me.
As I get showered and dressed in a fresh race suit for the day, I think about what I want, what I really want. My family has their hearts set on destroying me because I didn’t want to wait on them hand and foot anymore.
I never should’ve started. They work their way in slowly, like a microscopic parasite that claims more and more of the host until it ultimately takes it out. The parasite doesn’t care.
I want to fight back. I want my own life.
I don’t want them to follow me into a bond with someone, even if Onidus is the one I secretly want.
He offered me a place in his military, Silvian Command.
My life would become all about serving in one of the federation’s elite forces.
But I don’t think they’d put up with my family’s bullshit.
I might be able to escape in space.
Onidus isn’t in the hallway when I step out of my room. I steal a quick bite to eat on my way to his room, but he isn’t there. I stop by his ship. He isn’t there either. So I go to the auditorium for the knowledge game.
I had planned to work for Abr somewhere, an allied planet or wherever they needed an augment surgeon. But the moment I saw hunky Onidus again, my gut had me wanting to stay close to him. I lost him once before. I don’t want that to happen again. And it bothers me that I can’t find him.
Onidus isn’t inside the auditorium when I peek through the doorway.
Ohni bumps into me. “Solara...”
I cringe. “I’m really sorry about my family pulling strings with the racers here. It definitely has been hard to escape their manipulation. But I am happy to do whatever I have to, to help make up for their actions.”
Ohni braces my shoulders. “We have dealt with this before. To be honest, compared to the Myndrous that got in two years ago, I think the drama you brought is minimal. So don’t worry about it. But what are you looking for?”
“Onidus.”
“Ah. He has been on a secure call with his command in the main office. He will join you shortly.”
“Is everything okay?”
Ohni shrugs. “We’re discussing the status of the war and the current conditions and species threats. It is nice to have an Aural Master here. He can tell me when parties are lying. It’s very helpful. But he’s speaking with General Viriden now. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Ohni encourages me to the side of the hallway. “Something is still on your mind.”
I pick at a thumbnail. “What would you recommend for someone who doesn’t want to let someone get away but also doesn’t want to push things?”
“Find another way. Maybe there’s something you don’t know about. But it’s also possible that you won’t get what you want.”
“What do you know about Isonian culture?”
“They are used to fighting and being the main force of justice in their galaxy. So pretty much all of their efforts, even civilian ones, are for the war. Sure, there are upper-class Isonians, but they tend to stay away from the action. So if you think you’re going to serve them and follow Onidus, you likely won’t be paired on the same Mothership. ”
“But I am emergency certified for Earth. Do you know if they’d actually consider a human for their crews?”
“They have worked with a few humans over the centuries, though you have to go through their training.” She leans out of the way of a passing security team in black armor.
“It would be a decent escape from your family. I doubt they’d chase you there.
But what do you suppose is making Onidus hold back? ”
“Insecurity, especially after last night.”
“Ah. Nothing else? Work?” Ohni dissects me with a hint of a smile in her eyes like she knows.
“Are you aware of his mission?”
“Vaguely. Viriden can be a cryptic, demanding pain sometimes. But he has everyone’s best interests in mind. Took me a while to see it.”
“Thanks.”
Ohni pats my shoulder. “Summon me if I can help in any way. For now, we should get to the knowledge game.”
I follow her into the massive room, divided into two sides: one for males and one for females. I climb the steep rows to a seat with a buzzer on the desk. As the game announcer takes the podium, the rest of the contestants take seats.
“Welcome to the knowledge game, where the contestants with the most points wins! There are 100,000 credits on the line for both males and females,” the young man tells us. “So get your hands ready to slap those buzzers and give us the best answers you’ve got!”
Onidus’ presence enters the doorway.
He’s lightless today, his race suit smooth and stretched over his muscles in all the right ways that make my pussy tense.
His eyes patrol the room before he enters like he’s taking everything in, looking for threats and faces he doesn’t like.
His eyes avoid me as if he knows where I sit and deliberately doesn’t look.
Damn.
He saunters in and takes an empty seat. Garnak hasn’t shown, and I think he’s been kicked out of the race completely.
The announcer asks us the first question. “What is the small red planet outside the Wirckri system?”
I smash the buzzer. The screen in the desk lights up. “Nolroun.”
“Correct.” The man at the podium continues. “The spikes that stretch across the shoulders of the Rizith are an adaptation for what?”
My hand hits the buzzer first again. “The Haiksosh, the predators of their world that hunt them from behind.”
A pink-banded woman below me scoffs and looks up. “Save some for the rest of us?”
She sounds so much like Lashina with the airy and squeaky rasp that I can’t help but snap back at her. “If you have the answers, beat me to the buzzer.”
The announcer asks more questions. I answer every one I can. I don’t want the credits. I want Onidus to just look at me once so I can tell if he’s okay or not.
But it isn’t until the sparkle lights flicker in a shower of luminous confetti that Onidus smiles and shakes his head, then steals a glance at me.
“Congratulations, Solara. You have answered the most questions correctly of the women. The credits will be loaded into your account.” The announcer calls to a Vinym male with colorful scales that shift hues with his excitement over answering the most questions correctly on his side.
Onidus didn’t try to answer a single question, and I think he’s tired of attention after yesterday.
As we leave the building, I weave through the crowd and find him. “Hey.”
He beams down at me. “Nice job.”
“Thanks. Now, are you going to tell me what’s up?”
He chews his lip and looks away. “Nebs are moving their Vulturous faction into some new solar systems with planets not prepared to fight. The Federation used to believe in letting others work through the contact on their own. But in the last decade, we have come to pull the forces we can and do what we can. But it never ends well either way. We could really use more fighters. Trouble is finding souls willing to risk everything for a species they don’t know. ”
“If I can help, let me know. I considered your idea, and I’d like more information. I’ve worked on about every species in the Federation. I’m not a doctor, but I can stitch and administer medicines to over 200 species.”
Onidus tilts his head as he studies me like he can’t quite figure me out, even though he knows me better than anyone.
“We could use a medic if that’s what you really want.
I can inquire with Lumen Command. Not sure how long training would take with your qualifications.
But you are going to have to learn to fight. You will have to take life to save it.”
“I understand.” I am tired of seeing innocent lives crushed under the weight of greedy, lazy assholes and then get blamed for not having more of what the gluttons want. “Nebs and Myndrous, I have no trouble killing.”
Onidus glances around at the other males who make their way into the changing hut in the field. “Sometimes you have to aim at others.”
“Like who?”
“Federation traitors, scrappers, anyone who sides with the Nebs to survive. That may mean humans. But it isn’t always easy to tell. Aural Discerners know. Masters too.”
“I understand. Could you look into it?” I ask. “I would like to help where I can do the most good. No one here wants me, so I’m hoping to get involved in either the war or the refugee efforts after this. But I paid to be here. I want to have some fun before the shit starts.”
Amusement touches his eyes. “Alright. I’m game.”