Chapter 18 #2
Alice stirred in the sugar, bringing the coffee to Briar and sitting across from her. ‘You didn’t peak in high school,’ she said, resisting the impulse to take Briar’s hand.
Briar took a sip of coffee. ‘I guess I just imagined my life as an adult differently, and it sometimes feels like every decision I make is just rolling with the punches.’ She took another sip and then said in a flat tone, ‘There have been a lot of punches.’
‘If it helps,’ Alice said, ‘you’re the same person to me now that you were then.’
As she spoke, she wasn’t sure if that was actually true.
Yes, Briar was still the person who understood her better than anyone else.
But this new thing between them, the one that they were refusing to talk about, changed things for Alice.
Briar was suddenly so much more to Alice than she’d been before, and having to ignore it was torture.
Briar kept quiet, seemingly lost in thought. Then she gulped down the rest of her coffee and stood.
‘We should get started prepping sides.’
Alice stood too and passed Briar a mountain of broccoli before turning to mince garlic. ‘I still make this recipe all the time,’ she said, trying to distract Briar. ‘The garlic in the roux makes all the difference.’
Briar nodded, chopping the broccoli. ‘We always had wild garlic in the garden my mom needed to use up.’
‘There was no feeling as good as getting off school on a Friday and going over to yours to cook,’ Alice said.
On those nights, the Elwood home had rung with laughter from Briar’s siblings, who had taken turns pestering them as they cooked.
It had made Alice wish she’d had siblings – their home had felt alive in a way hers never had.
‘I looked forward to being an adult, to having a house like the one you grew up in and someone to share it with. Simple things.’
The bungalow had been filled to the brim with memories, from screen-printings done by Briar’s grandma to glasswork Susan had collected from the local Renaissance fair.
As soon as you walked in the door, you knew exactly who the inhabitants were.
Alice had aspired to that, yet had somehow ended up in a bare flatshare in London with a broody grad student and not a single piece of art on the walls.
Briar nodded. ‘Having you around made it fun, like it was our own place.’
The words mimicked Alice’s thoughts so closely that she felt entirely transparent. After having been around colleagues who hadn’t been able to read her for so long, there was something surreal in the existence of a person who she’d shared everything with once.
‘Yeah,’ she said softly. ‘It did feel like that. I thought that was what being an adult would feel like, but it never has.’
Briar cleaved a head of broccoli neatly in two. ‘No, it hasn’t.’
They had made so many plans when they had been younger, about the lives they would live side by side, the places they would go and the people they would become. None of them had come true. Alice was to blame for that.
‘Shit,’ Briar hissed, and Alice turned to see that she’d sliced her finger with the knife.
Alice grabbed for her automatically, examining the cut as blood dripped onto their hands.
‘We need to put pressure on it,’ she said, trying to project confidence.
Briar had always been better at treating wounds than her, since she got queasy at the sight of blood.
‘Cook has a first aid kit somewhere.’ She whirled around and rifled through the cabinets until she found it on a shelf opposite the stove.
‘I can do it,’ she said, and Briar placed her hand in Alice’s more tentatively this time, eyeing her warily. ‘What? You don’t trust me?’
‘I’m a little worried you’ll faint,’ Briar admitted.
‘I’m not going to faint,’ Alice said, though honestly, Briar’s doubt in her was propelling her forward more than anything else. She pressed a piece of gauze into the pad of Briar’s thumb, taking tape in one hand and winding it around the finger.
‘Are you…?’ Briar trailed off, the corner of her mouth quirking up.
‘Thinking about the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean where Elizabeth bandages Will’s hand?’ Alice huffed out a laugh, giddy on the feeling of sharing every point of reference with someone again. She knew this was Briar’s way of distracting her, and she was grateful. ‘Of course I am.’
Briar looked up at her from beneath slightly wet lashes. ‘“My heart’s always belonged to you”,’ she recited solemnly.
Alice knew Briar was just quoting the movie, but her racing pulse hadn’t seemed to have figured that out. She bit her lip, staring at Briar, caught in some sort of spell.
‘It’s still bleeding,’ Briar said, her voice a whisper now.
‘Oh,’ Alice said, looking down. She applied more pressure and Briar grimaced in pain. ‘Sorry.’
‘It doesn’t feel that bad, honestly,’ Briar said. ‘You’re doing a good job.’
Alice didn’t want to examine how Briar’s praise made her feel, so she cleared her throat, wrapping the tape tightly to secure the bandage. ‘How’s that?’
‘Good.’ Briar’s voice was barely audible, her gaze locked on Alice.
‘How’s it looking in here, ladies?’ Freddie came through the swinging doors and Alice dropped Briar’s hand like she’d been burned. They both washed their hands before returning to their prep stations. Freddie squinted at them. ‘The hungry swarm descends in an hour.’