Chapter 11
Theodore Knight
A s athletes, we are naturally competitive. But when someone starts a beer pong game, all hell breaks loose. The goalie from the ice hockey team, Toby Hodge and I are in a battle for bragging rights and what the better sport is. The answer is and always will be football.
I line up my ball with the final cup. “Knight lines it up. He shoots,”
I pause. “And he scores,” My teammates huddle around me like we have won a championship.
A couple people pass me more drinks, but after that game, I need to piss. Strolling over to the bathroom downstairs, I look at all the people surrounding it. Fucking hell. Where is Jayden? Surely, he will let me use his bathroom.
I’m about to go find him but Kierra cuts me off. She fits in every cliche: head cheerleader and obsessed with football players. We started hooking up in freshman year, but I don’t think I’m interested anymore.
“Theo,” Kierra purred.
“Hey Kierra. I wanted to talk to you,”
Her eyes light up. Dear god, this isn’t going to end well.
“Really?” Kierra tries to run her hand over my shoulder, I grab it before she makes contact and move it to her side.
“I’m not interested. I think we shouldn’t hook up anymore,”
The last time we had sex was four months ago and now I’m rethinking my priorities. After being named captain, I don’t want to let anyone down. Besides, I think I’m over having casual sex. Which is something I never thought would leave my mouth but here we are.
Kierra’s face scrunched in disgust or maybe she doesn’t think I mean it. “Fine, I’m sure you’ll come crawling back.”
I barely hold in my scoff when she walks away.
Finally, Jayden appears across the room. “Jay!”
“What’s up?”
“Mind if I use your bathroom, the line is ridiculous.”
“Go for it. I better not hear any moans; I won’t regret barging in. ”
I cackle, slapping him across the shoulder. I try not to take his comment to heart. Jay isn’t the first person to insinuate that the only relationship I can have is in the form of sex.
I stop my thoughts as I reach his door. My eyebrows form a V, as a puzzled look comes to my face. The door is already open.
“No one is supposed to be in here,” I say in the darkness.
Upstairs is off-limits unless one of the players gives you permission. I understand I wouldn’t want anyone trashing my house and invading my personal space. A girl is laying on the bed, as I inch closer to her, she isn’t moving. Fuck. What the hell happened? Quickly, I appeared at her side. My eyes widen and a string of curse words leave my mouth.
Jazmine Allen is lying unconscious on her brother’s bed. I place my fingers against her neck, trying to find a pulse. Nausea washes over me and memories of my mum laying on the bathroom floor invade my mind.
Stop. I can’t think about that. Jazmine needs me.
“Jazmine, can you hear me? It’s Theo,” I shake her body lightly, trying to bring her back. Thankfully, she is still breathing and her pulse is there. Jazmine doesn’t respond, so I try again.
“Jazmine. I need you to wake up for me, okay?” My voice falters, a sob breaking through. “Please,”
Jazmine’s hand squeezes mine and her legs slowly begin to move. She grabs at her chest, trying to pull herself into a seated position .
“Hey, hey, hey.” I place my hand underneath Jazmine and help her move.
She tilts her head; watery green eyes find mine. My heart is on the verge of shattering as I assess the state Jazmine is in.
“Theo,” It’s barely a whimper.
I don’t know what happened but whoever caused this deserves a punch to the throat, maybe two. She never calls me Theo, only my full or last name. From what I've observed, Jazmine hates vulnerability. She fears how others will perceive her if she isn't perfect. But this won't stop me. I am going to take care of her. I want to show her she can trust me and it's okay to not be okay.
I think back to my mum and the best ways to help her when she had a panic attack. Physical touch is important. It can bring the person back, showing them they are safe.
Grounded.
“Is it okay if I keep touching you?”
Jazmine nods her head slowly, she doesn’t seem to know what is happening. Carefully, I intertwine our hands. I stay silent, but my mind is on overdrive, taking in any movement Jaz makes.
Every couple of minutes, I squeeze her hands so she knows someone is still with her. My eyes switch between her rising chest and distant gaze. Eventually, Jazmine’s breathing calms, her tears fading away.
“Can you tell me what happened?” I ask.
I need to know who the fuck it was so I can beat the shit out of them or get Jayden to do it. He is going to be ballistic when he finds out about this panic attack—at least, I assume that is what happened.
Jazmine swallows. “Can we leave first?”
“Yeah, Princess. We can do whatever you want,”
I help her off the bed, feeling her ivory skin, which is cool beneath my touch. Fucking hell, she is freezing. Without a second thought, I pull my football hooded sweatshirt over my head and hand it to Jazmine. She cocks her head to the side, as if she is confused. Does this girl let anyone take care of her?
“You’re freezing,”
Jaz looks down at her arms, running her fingers over the goosebumps. “Oh, I didn’t even realise.”
“It’s okay, I understand. You feel numb, right?”
She nods her head. The aftermath of a panic attack is different for everyone but from my research usually people feel numb and mentally drained. I offer to put the sweatshirt on her, if she can’t do it by herself. At first, I think Jaz is going to yell at me. But all the fight melts from her face before she accepts.
Sweatshirt falls just below her waist. God, I don’t even want it back. Jazmine wears it better than I ever could. Her sequinned, black miniskirt and pink crop top are engulfed, no longer visible to my eyes. When I first saw her enter the party, I wanted to rip all her clothes off. Or at minimum, gouge the eyes out of every guy that looked in her direction.
Jazmine searched for Athena and Sofia to tell them she was leaving with me. I had to bite my tongue when she lied to her friends, citing she has a headache and wanted to leave. But part of me is glad Jazmine hasn’t tried to push me away.
After watching her slowly unravel in freshman year, I never want to see Jaz suffer again. Not to mention the similarities I see between her and my mum. Jazmine has weaselled her way into my life and the more time I spend with her, the closer she inches to my heart.
I force those thoughts from my mind. I shouldn’t be thinking about anything other than helping Jazmine recover. The party is left in the background as we reach my car. I open the passenger door for Jaz, ignoring her perplexed expression.
“Come on, Princess.”
I step closer, helping her into the car. Jazmine looks miles away, as she tries to regain a sense of her surroundings. I move to the driver’s seat, gripping the wheel until my knuckles are turning white.
Out of the corner of my eye, Jazmine is picking her fingernails, while her leg shakes. The first thought that appears in my head is to grab her hand or hold her leg. I banish them to the back of my mind.
I swallow slowly, clearing my throat. “You live at Campus North, right?”
Jazmine seems surprised I know—which is understandable, I probably sound like a creep right now. But she doesn’t verbally respond, only nodding her head steadily.
I drove around the parking lot to find a visitor car park. Luckily, most people are out partying tonight, so the amount of parks is endless.
“Wait here,” I opened the car door for Jaz again. This time, she says something.
“Why do you…keep doing that?”
I smile sheepishly, my cheeks heating. “I am a gentleman, Princess.”
A laugh escapes Jazmine’s throat and a wide smile is spread across her lips. Holy shit.
“Do it again,” I reply before thinking. That noise right there, it’s my favourite—like a drug that gives you an endless high.
“What?”
“Laugh, smile. Both if you want,”
“That’s not how it works Theodore,” Jaz says, but I see her try to thin her lips from a smile to an unfazed expression.
I shake my head. “Come on.” I say, guiding her inside.
“You don’t even know where you’re going,”
Jazmine’s voice echoes through the parking lot. I look around, forgetting my surroundings. Right. I let Jazmine lead us into the elevator. The trip was silent, but I kept flicking between Jaz and the ground.
The closer we get to her apartment, the more excuses come to my mind. How do I convince her to let me stay? I want to make sure she is truly okay before I leave her alone. The thought comes with waves of nausea and an increasing heart rate. What if something happens when I leave and she can’t contact me? Or anyone else?
“Theodore?”
I swallow, forcing my fears away. “Yes?”
“Do you want to come in? ”
Immediately, I followed Jaz inside. Besides the multiple rolls of fabric scattered across different parts of the living room, the apartment is clean. Although it’s smaller than mine, there is a cosy atmosphere with sentimental pieces that spread throughout, showing the lives of those who slept here.
I make my way to the kitchen while Jazmine has disappeared. Making myself at home, I open every cupboard and the fridge to find something for Jazmine. On the ride home, I noticed her turning paler by the second. It wouldn’t surprise me if she hasn’t eaten, which pisses me off to no end. I don’t know whether it’s on purpose or not, but I will make her eat if I have to.
Eventually, I found the ingredients for a basic omelette. This is probably the extent of my cooking skills, besides the ability to grill a steak. My low hums fill the kitchen, while strands from a streetlight cast through the window behind me.
Jazmine has pulled back every layer of protection tonight and I want to show that I care. Because I know for a fact, tomorrow she will resort to insults in hope it will push me away. Little does Jazmine Allen know, I want to see every part of her—happy, sad, angry, it doesn’t matter.
I slide the omelette onto the plate, leaving it on the bench. My eyes linger on Jazmine as she approaches a black stool. I try to keep my gaze on her face but Jaz still has my jumper on and it has engulfed the rest of her body. Although, I can make out a short pair of white pyjama pants .
Jazmine’s eyes bulge and it’s as if I can see the gears spinning in her mind. She flicks her head between the food and me.
“Did you make this?”
“I figured you haven’t eaten. Besides, you look pale.”
Jazmine went silent. Clearly, she is struggling to understand my motivations behind not only the omelette but tonight.
“Just a couple of bites,” I say, but it is a plea.
She grabs the fork I am holding, while the smile on my face becomes brighter every time she eats more.
“This is actually pretty good, Theodore,”
“Wow. Your confidence in my abilities is appreciated,”
Jazmine muffles her laugh.
“Don’t do that,”
She tilts her head.
“Don’t muffle your laugh, I like knowing I make you happy.”
A red flush travels Jazmine’s neck, reaching her cheeks. Her smile is blinding—genuine, not a fake mask to conceal her emotions. Colour is slowly returning to her face and I can’t take my eyes off her.
Jazmine’s curls are long, flowing down her back and she has wiped all the make-up from her face. For the first time, I can see a cluster of freckles littered across her nose and cheeks.
She is beautiful.
“Theodore?”
“Mmm?” It’s an incoherent mumble, but I don’t care.
Jazmine smiles shyly. “You’re staring, ”
My cheeks heat as she calls me out for staring. “I can’t help it, Princess,”
My phone vibrates in my back pocket with the notification reminding me of tomorrow.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I have to go home. I’ve got an away game tomorrow. I’m going to message Jayden and tell him what happened,” Jazmine tries to interrupt me. “Before you tell me off, he should know. He only wants to help,”
She grumbles in reply.
“I wrote my number on the fridge. Call me, text me, or Facetime me. Whatever. I’ll answer.”
Jazmine scoffs. “Why would I want to look at your face more than I already do?”
I smile. "There she is. I was wondering when my snarky Jazmine would return."
A soft smile returns to her face.
“Besides," I begin. "I remember you called me ‘pretty boy’ in our last class,”
Jazmine's lips form a straight line but her cheeks flush, leaving a pink hue. She flicks her middle finger up towards me. “I thought you were leaving,”
I hold my hands up defensively. “I’m going,” Jazmine shoves me out the door, but before she can slam the door in my face I say:
“You look good in my jumper Princess,”