Chapter 37
Theodore Knight
T oday we will win.
The Lakewood Devils are in the college football championship. Last week, we won our semi-final, earning a week off before the finale today.
The past week excitement has been running through my veins as well as my teammates. If they wanted to, some of the boys could have bounced from wall to wall.
Usually at big games, nerves control me. However, knowing I have the support of Jazmine and my father stops the anxious butterflies from living in my stomach.
Jazmine and I went out to dinner with my dad last night, as he came a day earlier than my game.
Our relationship is progressing, we aren’t fully there, but we are both trying. Dad visited my mum’s grave two days ago, while I was with him on facetime.
We both cried, apologising to her for letting our relationship decay. When she died, we never spoke of her again. But I realise you can’t push things away or bottle up your emotions.
This is one reason I decided to see a therapist. The other is wanting to be the best partner for Jazmine. Both of us want to be supportive in the other’s journey but the only way to do that is to heal ourselves as well.
Jazmine asked Dr Gray to recommend a couple of people I may like. Now, I see Dr Perry every fortnight and I’ve learnt a lot about myself.
At first it was hard, trusting a stranger to help me but Jazmine has been amazing, she brought me a box of affirmations to use. I read one every day but today I created my own: today we will win.
I’ve repeated it over and over.
All my teammates are on the field for our last training session before the game. Although, I wouldn’t describe it as training, more like a get together between friends who have one common goal.
Jake and I have avoided each other, only speaking if it is necessary. I think he knows he was in the wrong but if Jake is going to keep to himself, I have no qualms being civil to him .
After my outburst, I sat down with Coach Morgan and the team, telling them my story.
Everyone was understanding and it made me realise we don’t talk about mental health enough as both men and athletes. Putting a spotlight on my own mental health as well as creating awareness is an avenue I want to pursue in the future.
The hours passed slower than ever as we counted down to the game. Jazmine, Athena, Sofia and Colton are all in the stands cheering for us. I haven’t seen them since Austin and I left our apartment a couple hours ago.
All of us are changing into our gear, the locker room is buzzing—everyone is smiling, especially those who are playing in their first championship game. Even Julian ‘Grumps’ Nunez has a slight curve on his lips.
This game day feels different than the others. With my breathing exercises included in my pre-game routine, the usual ball of nerves in my stomach has disappeared.
Coach Morgan and Dawson enter the locker room. We huddled in a circle, arms wrapping around each other’s shoulders.
“Boys, this is it. We have built our way to this game since the start of the season. It is ours to lose, so go out there and make me proud.”
I lead everyone on to the field, a bright smile lingering on my lips. The crowd screams as we fall into our positions under the bright lights. The sea of red across the stadium is endless. From this distance, I can just make out Jazmine’s figure who is standing next to my father .
Looking up to the sky, I take a deep breath. “This is for you mum,”
***
The ball leaves my hand in a perfect spiral. Austin runs onto the passes, catching it in the end zone.
The buzzer sounds.
We won.
I run straight to Austin, who has been trampled by our teammates. All of us are hugging, as other people run onto the field. We make our way to the middle of the field where the trophy is waiting. I look past it, trying to find Jazmine.
Once I see her, I sprint across not wanting to wait for a moment. Jazmine laughs, excited as I lift her from the ground to spin her in my arms.
I've always wanted this moment, earning a victory for myself, the team and the university. But, I never considered I would want someone to celebrate the wins with. Having Jazmine here makes the victory even sweeter.
“What about the trophy?” Jazmine asks.
“I don’t care about the trophy. I want to celebrate with you first,”
She pulls back, placing her hands on either side of my neck. Jazmine pulls me down, smiling before kissing me. I tug her body even closer, my hands around her waist. My tongue parts her lips, slipping inside her mouth .
Fuck. I’m living the fucking dream.
Jazmine pulls back, her breath dancing along my skin. I lean down, placing my forehead against hers.
My eyes never leave hers—green orbs with specks of hazel. I’ve always felt as if I was being pulled towards Jaz but this is different.
Is this what falling in love feels like?
“I’m so proud of you,” Jaz says. “Your dad and I were so nervous. I could barely watch the final moments.”
The words create flutters in my heart. All I've ever wanted is to make my loved ones proud of me.
“Where is my dad?”
“Talking to some of your other teammates,” Jaz intertwines her hand with mine, tugging me towards my ecstatic team. “Come on, let’s get you that trophy Captain.”
My dad is talking to Coach Morgan as Jazmine and I make our way.
“That was a great game, son.” dad says.
“Thanks,”
Coach Morgan and I accept the trophy first before Austin comes over for his turn to parade it around. Not that I mind.
The only person I want to truly celebrate with has curly blonde hair, green eyes and owns my heart.