11. Alaric
ALARIC
After years of working in the hospital, being a trauma attending has become routine. I wouldn’t say it’s easy, not at all, but I’ve gotten used to it.
Barking orders, assessing what’s wrong, and seeing how fast I can stabilize my patients before we head into the OR are part of who I am.
The fact that I have Harold in my storage unit? That doesn’t cloud my judgment one bit. Holding my test subjects hostage is standard procedure by now.
And still, I’ve been struggling to focus.
All because of Lilith.
Despite wanting to see her yesterday, the day after I kidnapped Harold, I’ve stayed away. Having my hands on that bastard served as a reminder of every reason why I should do just that.
For her sake, I wanted—no, needed—to try.
Problem is, I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m so obsessed with Lilith that no trials have been performed. No notes have been written in my notebook. No punishment has been administered for what he’s done to his mother.
Other than my shifts and taking care of Harold, the only thing running through my head has been Lilith, Lilith, Lilith.
I can’t take the distance anymore. I don’t give a fuck if that means I’m a selfish prick.
I’m going to see her.
To have her.
Today.
“Alaric.”
I turn around, even though I have plenty of other things to take care of.
Like getting rid of my bloody scrubs.
Like finally starting my trials.
Like finding the woman who’s crawled under my skin. The woman who’s transformed me into a sick, obsessive bastard in a matter of days.
Unfortunately, I can’t ignore my boss.
“Hello,” I say, looking down at the blonde, blue-eyed Dr. Ember Yarrow, the trauma medical director.
“How are you?” She raises her voice to be heard over the unit’s buzzing activity.
Nurses, EMTs, doctors, and paramedics mill around us. Gurneys and hospital beds roll, one of which I avoid at the last minute.
Someone screams. Another person shouts, “Clear!”
“Same as any other day,” I lie, then look at my watch, the universal sign that I have somewhere else to be. “What about you?”
“I’m great.” She adjusts her black-rimmed glasses, then tightens her high ponytail while her eyes scan the floor. Always working. “Anything I should know about?”
As a matter of fact, yes. I miss Lilith like a starving man, and every second you keep me from her is another one I’m closer to losing my sanity.
“Nothing important.” Not a muscle in my face twitches as I lie. My secrets are and always will be protected. “Anything you need from me?”
At my sharper tone, her eyes cut to my blood-soaked scrubs, the complete opposite of her pristine ones. “No, no. I was just checking in on you.”
“Dr. Yarrow,” someone shouts behind me.
“I have to go.” She offers one of her polite smiles and rushes off.
Before anyone else approaches me, I leave the unit, which reeks of antiseptic and blood, and head to the showers.
Twenty minutes later, I’m in a clean pair of jeans and a white, long-sleeved T-shirt, about to enter the cafeteria.
“Dr. Lockwood.” That voice. Sultry. Sweet. Perfect.
Lilith’s voice.
It pulls me out of my head, where I’ve been stuck for the last few steps, it seems. Because here I am, at the cash register, staring down at the woman who steals my breath away.
My heart gives that weird fucking thump it always does when I’m too close to Lilith. One loud beat that threatens to crack my rib cage.
But there’s something wrong with her.
Her eyes don’t glimmer.
Her smile is way too polite.
She’s looking at me as if we’re strangers.
As if I didn’t spit my cum into her waiting mouth.
It’s my fault. I messed up by keeping my distance for two days.
Time to make it right.
My hand twitches at my side. I lift it, aching to touch her cheek and…
She takes a step back.
From me.
By some miracle, I’m able to drop my hand. To not be a possessive asshole and grab her by the throat so I can yank her to me the way I want to.
“Lilith.”
“What can I get you?”
Hope lets out a bark of laughter behind her, quickly covering it with a cough into her forearm. Without sparing me a glance, she goes back to fixing coffee orders for the two customers waiting at the other counter.
I’ve earned that one. Neither she nor Lilith knows my secrets. How my need to protect Lilith has constantly clashed with the possessiveness I’ve felt for her ever since the first time I saw her in the cafeteria.
As far as they’re concerned, I’m an ass. I sure feel like one.
“I’m sorry,” I start over. “Really sorry, Lilith.”
“What for?” She cocks an eyebrow. God, she is a little devil. A feisty one.
“I shouldn’t have waited more than two days to come see you.”
“That’s fine.” Her eyes darken, and I brace myself. For her sass. For my need to fuck it out of her. My cock is already hard. “I’ve had great company.”
“Is that so?”
While it’s obvious she’s taunting me, my hands still clench into fists. My heart pounds violently.
The thought of all these people asking her out…
“Yeah. Hope. My boss.” She licks her lips, stepping closer like she regrets the distance she put between us. “My favorites, though, have been the paramedics. What is it about men in uniform?”
Fucking with me or not, I’m jealous. Fiercely so.
“Men in uniform, hmm?” Refusing to let her deny me again, my fingers snap around the side of her neck.
“Yes,” she whispers, leaning in. Closer. Finally, I can inhale the sweet scent of her. “They’re hot. Like, really, really hot.”
“Lilith.” I bend over the counter, dragging her toward me until my mouth is at her ear. “If you keep this up, I’ll hunt down and kill every paramedic in the state of New York.”
A shiver runs through her. “Oh.”
That one oh is so sincere. As if she believes me.
As if she has a reason to think I could be violent, even murderous.
As if she knows.
No chance in hell.
She wouldn’t have been able to hide it with a smile. Wouldn’t have been able to flirt and tempt me.
My secrets are safe.
“Yes, Lilith.” My cock is throbbing. Lilith’s fluttering pulse beneath my palm is just another invitation to bite, suck, and lick every inch of her. “Oh.”
In my periphery, I notice Hope eyeing me, shoulders tight, ready to come to her friend’s rescue.
No one’s taking her from me.
“You know what? I call bullshit,” she whispers, her breath hot on my cheek. “These past two days, it was like I never existed. Why would you kill anyone because of me?”
“I said I was sorry.” And fuck, am I ever. “I should’ve dropped by. I wanted to.”
“Words are cheap, Dr. Lockwood. I am not.”
I pull back and study her face, thrown by how calmly she says it. There’s no anger in her tone or on her face.
If anything, she looks…at peace. Like she wants me to understand she won’t be played, but that she isn’t upset either.
Why?
“You’re right,” I murmur eventually, deciding that I don’t care what’s going on. I’m going to make it right. “You aren’t cheap. But neither are my words. You’ll find out soon enough.”
She’s silent for a beat. A million of them. Hope’s already finished the coffee she was making for the couple waiting. The machine behind Lilith is no longer huffing and puffing.
And Lilith doesn’t say a word.
“What is it?” My head pounds. I need her to talk to me. “Don’t tell me to go away, because I won’t do it. I warned you”—I press closer until our noses brush, not caring if anyone sees us—“back in the supply closet. You’re mine.”
“Do I even get a say in this?” For the first time this evening, her cheeks flush. The bright crimson turns the pressure in my jeans into pain. “Seeing how it’s the twenty-first century and all.”
“No.” I tighten my grip on her neck to drive my point home. “You don’t.”
“I could get you fired.” Another tease. The corner of her lips tics up. “Or locked up.”
“Fine by me. I have the resources to send one, two, or a dozen men to kidnap you and bring you over for conjugal visits.”
An empty threat. As long as I’m alive, no one will put their hands on Lilith.
Besides, I won’t let anything, even the law, keep me from her. These past two days have been hell.
She quirks an eyebrow. “You’d do that?”
“Test me.” My threat comes out as a growl. I’m feral for this girl, and I don’t even have her last name.
She won’t tell me anything unless…
“Will you be back?”
The ghost of that question slithers up my spine.
The memory itself remains vague. Who Lilith was. What happened to her.
I still can’t tell if I took out her abuser, either.
Pressure builds in my head until my vision tinges red, my lungs burning.
Deep breath.
I’ll deal with it later.
“Maybe I will.” A wicked smirk tugs at her lips. “But not tonight. Actually, nothing can happen tonight since Hope and I are covering a few hours for the evening shift.”
“Absolutely not.” Protectiveness strains my muscles. “They’ll have to call in someone else. Or I’ll do it. Teach me what I need to know, and I’ll cover your shift.” Fuck Harold. Fuck my trials. Fuck my sleep too. “You’re going home at a decent hour.”
The whole time I’ve been talking, Lilith has stayed quiet. As if she’s been eating my speech up. Like she wants me, the man, not the doctor she remembers from back then, to say these things to her.
It should be infuriating how, with one long look, she reaches deep inside my soul.
This, too, feeds my obsession.
I want more.
“You don’t need to do that for me.” Delicate fingers pry my much larger ones off her neck.
“Yes, I do.” When I put my hand right back where it was, Lilith lets out a contented breath, like I passed her test. “I’m a fast learner. Teach. Me.”
“Alaric, seriously, it’s not the end of the world.” The edge in her tone sets off alarms in my head. “We’re leaving by eleven.”
A second ago, she gazed up at me like I hung the moon. Now she sounds like she wishes I’d back off?
What does she have to hide?
“I’ll be fine,” she adds.
So that’s what this is about. She isn’t trying to avoid me. She’s been handling everything on her own for so long, it seems, that she’s forgotten how to share the burden with anyone else.
“You’ve been on your feet for hours.” My thumb skims over her jawline, softer this time. I’m out of my mind with need, but I also want her to feel cherished, not forced. “Go home. Rest. I’ve got this.”
As the words land, she jerks her head back. Eyebrows flying up.
“I can take so much more than you give me credit for.”
“I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m sorry.” I stay quiet until her expression softens. “I want to look after you, Lilith, not for any reason other than I care. And you’re going to let me.”
“Dictating what I can or cannot do and looking after me are two entirely different things.” She isn’t pushing my buttons anymore. There’s defiance in her tone. A sliver of pain. “I love my job. I love my freedom. If I agreed to stay late, then I’m staying late.”
“Fine.” I’d argue, but she’s got a point. Even if it’s one that I don’t like. “At least tell me you have a car or you’re taking an Uber.”
“I won’t tell you a single thing other than that I live a few blocks away, so it’s not like anything will happen on my way home.” The conniving glimmer in her eyes, the one I’m starting to crave, is back. “And that we can exchange numbers, and I’ll text you once I get there. Deal?”
The fact that we’re neighbors gets me harder than a fucking rock for one full second.
Until she quirks an eyebrow once again, reminding me of her question.
No, no fucking deal.
Letting her and Hope wander out at night while I’m tucked away in my secure apartment isn’t going to work for me. At all. Which is why I’m going to stick around until eleven, then see to it that she gets home safe with my own two eyes.
“Deal,” I lie.
After she plugs her number into my phone, and I do the same with hers, I brush a kiss to her lips, promise to take her out this week, and turn to leave.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she calls out to me, even though there’s already a woman waiting in line.
“No,” I say instead of you.
Her frown is adorable. “You didn’t order anything.”
“Who said I wanted to?” I smirk at her little gasp and head out to the doctors’ lounge.