Aftershock

17. Alaric

ALARIC

Steven’s surgery takes hours but, thankfully, we get the internal bleeding under control and repair the damage in time.

Now, before I head to the showers, I stop by the ICU to see whether anyone has shown up for Steven. My fists clench at my sides when I find him there without a single family member at his bedside, only two assistants, a nurse tells me, who have been hired to make sure he has everything he needs.

If his dad truly loved him, he would’ve been here.

He isn’t.

That, combined with what Austin told me, eradicates the last of my doubts.

Steven’s dad beat him up.

And since no charges have been filed for this so-called accident, I have to act fast. If I don’t take his dad out of the equation, the next time I see Steven might be at the morgue.

I need to clear my storage unit first. Not before I run the second set of trials I have planned for Harold. Meaning, I’ll have to get it done tonight.

After I see Lilith.

She’s in the cafeteria, within reach, since I asked her to wait for me after I got out of surgery.

I take the fastest shower of my life, storm out of the locker room, and go to her.

God, I need her. I need to tell her that I remember. To reassure her nothing’s changed between us, if that’s why she’s been hiding her identity from me.

My head pounds. My insides twist tight as memories come crashing down on me.

The few things she’s told me about her mother over the past three days have been enough to make me want to put my fist through a wall.

But the flashbacks I’m having…

The extent of her injuries.

The healed fractures on her scans.

Hearing her thank me for doing the bare minimum.

The terror turning to hope in her gaze when she looked at me.

Red.

I see red every-fucking-where.

Her goddamn mother. If I could raise Renata from the dead, I would. I’d lock her up for years on end, torturing her one day at a time.

For abusing Lilith. For the physical and emotional scars.

For forcing her into being a survivor when she should’ve been a child.

For almost.

Almost.

Killing her.

“Alaric.” Lilith rises from one of the cafeteria tables the second she sees me.

Just as I thought, Hope isn’t with her. Her bag and apron are nowhere to be found either.

But who fucking cares about any of that? She’s so beautiful that I can’t think of anything else.

Her hair falls in soft waves over her shoulders, her pale-blue eyes shining with worry.

Her body is swallowed by my black sweatshirt she’s wearing.

Beautiful, sweet, caring Lilith.

She’s alive.

Renata didn’t take her from me.

“What’s going on?” she asks when I’m less than six feet away.

We’re both well aware that I’m not okay.

I’m reeling, and it’s painfully obvious. My jaw is pulled tight. My hands are balled into fists.

“You’re okay,” I breathe out once I reach her.

As if seeing into my fucked-up, wretched soul, Lilith soothes me by cradling my cheek in her gentle palm. I sigh as I lean into it, taking whatever warmth I can draw from my woman.

Other people surround us. I think some of them are whispering.

I can’t find it in me to give a damn.

“I am.” Her thumb lights up my nerve endings as it strokes my cheek.

“I plan on keeping it that way. Forever.” I hold her free hand, squeezing it, feeling for the pulse point on her wrist just to make sure she’s alive. “Come with me. We need to talk.”

She doesn’t budge. A flicker of fear glimmers in her eyes at my growly voice.

I have no one to blame for it but my own damn self.

When I snapped over the phone and scared her the other day, I promised myself it would be the last time. She needs me to be calm. To be safe.

And look at me now.

Fucking look.

“I’m sorry.” Taking a deep breath, I fix my expression into something less homicidal.

Her lips part, then slam shut. Her cheeks pale.

Do better. Fast.

“I’m more than sorry. I—listen to me.” I hook a finger under her chin, tipping her face up higher.

“I’m not mad at you. I could never be. And even if that day ever comes, which it won’t, I will never, ever take it out on you.

Not by shouting, using fists, or looking at you like you’re anything less than perfect. Do you hear me?”

Her mouth twitches. Her hand shivers on my cheek.

Unacceptable.

“It’s okay for you to be mad at me, though.” One short kiss, and her palm stops trembling. Air floods back into my lungs. “If I’m late for our date, if I’m being a jerk, hell, if I don’t do the dishes, you have every right to be pissed at me.”

“You’re crazy.” Finally, a laugh. A real one that reaches her eyes.

She’s so beautiful. A light shining through my darkness.

Thank fuck she didn’t die that day at the hospital. Thank fucking fuck.

“Come with me,” I repeat.

I wish it could wait until we get home. I wish I could tuck her into bed, where she’ll be warm and comfortable, before I bring up our past.

But I won’t survive a ten-minute walk where I have to pretend everything’s fine.

“Okay.” She seems sure and trusting as she lets go of my cheek and squeezes my hand back.

I can’t help it. I lift her hand to my lips and kiss each knuckle.

Then we’re off.

“How did Hope get home?” I ask, my strides long.

“I know it’s a short walk, but I made her order an Uber.” Lilith shoots me a soft smile. “Thank you for asking.”

“She’s like a sister to you.” A confused frown tugs at my features. “Why wouldn’t I ask?”

“Is that all? Because she’s like a sister to me?”

Ah. Despite the pounding in my head, I get what’s going on.

Lilith needs to hear that I don’t just understand the nature of her relationship with Hope. That I respect it.

Which I do. “If she’s important to you, she’s important to me.”

She squeezes my hand harder. A silent you passed.

After that, we’re both quiet as I guide her through the hospital. Footsteps, people crying, and conversations echo from everywhere.

They all fade into background noise when I have Lilith.

“So…where are we going?” I love the curiosity in her voice, how she doesn’t sound scared anymore.

“To a consultation room. It’ll be empty until tomorrow morning.” I look down and soften my expression, though the pressure to grind my teeth is intense. “I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.” Her cheeks turn a gorgeous shade of red before they pale.

Turn ashen.

Worry has my pulse racing, and yet I don’t stop walking. “What’s wrong?”

Abe calls out my name. I don’t look at him. Won’t take my eyes off Lilith.

“Talk to me.”

“Lockwood,” again with this idiot. “Want to grab some coffee later?”

“Can’t.” I give him the answer I always do. Then, “Lilith, hey.”

“You…” My chest twists at the sight of her quivering chin. “Don’t tell me you had an appointment to see a doctor, that this is why you were late. You’re not sick, right? I can’t lose you. Please.”

While I don’t have any terminal disease, I am sick.

Sick to my stomach with fears I never considered until tonight.

Like what if I’d had a test subject locked in my storage unit the day Lilith was brought into the hospital?

If I’d taken a day or two longer to kidnap Renata, she might have convinced the court to give Lilith back to her.

And by the time I’d gotten to her, Lilith might’ve already been dead.

But killing her mother is my secret, so I shove those thoughts aside. I lock everything into a tight box and bury it deep.

Focus on her.

“No, little devil.” My level tone and serious glare earn me another one of her precious smiles. “Nothing like that. I’m fine. Not going anywhere.”

“Good.” Relief crosses her face as I tug her into a corridor to our right. I’m going to make sure she feels calm and happy for the rest of her life. “It would’ve been a dick move, you know, leaving me so soon. And just when I was starting to like you.”

“Starting to?” I play along, needing more of her carefree, teasing tone. “You wound me.”

“Okay, not starting. I like you. I mean, how could I not? You’re pretty cool for an old”—when I growl, she lets out the sweetest laugh—“er man.”

“This older man is going to rail your pussy tonight.” Beep, and my ID badge lets us into the consultation room. “All night.”

“You really think you have it in you, older man?”

“Call me older again.” I shut the door behind us. “I’ll fuck you so hard.” I slam her back against it and flick the light switch on. “You’ll be begging this older man to stop.”

“So this is what this is all about?” she whispers, her hands reaching for my chest. “Sex?”

A low groan escapes me the moment her fingers curl into my shirt. As tempting as she is, I take a deep breath and force myself to calm the hell down.

“No, this isn’t about that.” I cup her cheeks, leaning in to brush our lips together. “Lilith Rayne.”

“My name.” Her eyes fly wide open, her voice barely over a whisper. “You know who I am.”

“I also know that it’s taken me too long to remember it.”

When her hands shake so badly they fall to her sides, I tighten my hold on her cheeks, anchoring her to me, where it’s safe.

“It’s just that, when I look at you, I can’t see anything other than this gorgeous, funny, perfect woman. Not a kid. But I should’ve remembered.”

“Now that you do…” Shame, I think, makes her eyes dart to the floor. “Do you remember the bruises too? The swollen eyes? The missing patch of hair? How pathetic I looked?”

“Stop it right this minute.” I tip her face up and force her gaze where it belongs.

On me. “You were never pathetic. Not even close. You were a kid stuck with a monster. A kid who needed help. There’s nothing pathetic about that.

That’s called being a survivor. It’s what I saw when I looked at you then, what I still see when I look at you today. Do you hear me?”

She nods, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye.

“Is that why you didn’t want to tell me who you were?” I kiss along the salty track on her cheek. “Were you nervous about my reaction?”

“In a way, yes. At first, I just wanted you to be curious about me. But deep down, I think I was afraid of this moment. Apparently, I worried over nothing.” Lilith sighs, leaning her cheek into one of my hands.

“Thank you, Alaric. For saving me that day. For making sure she couldn’t get to me.

For sitting with me in the ICU. I had no idea back then that you weren’t supposed to do that, so, really, thank you. ”

“Nothing to thank me for.” I scoff, pressing my forehead to hers. “I didn’t do anything. She hurt you for years, and I wasn’t there.”

“You weren’t supposed to. Look, Alaric, it’s not your fault.” The second tear rolling down her cheek splits my heart in two. “It’s no one’s fault, not even the system’s.”

My body shakes with barely restrained rage. “Of course it is.”

“No, it isn’t. Mom was a lawyer at one of the biggest criminal law firms in New York.

She had some of the most violent people in the city on speed dial.

That’s why, whenever my teachers or counselors questioned a black eye or a broken arm, she either bribed them or used the names of her clients as a threat.

” She lifts her hands to cover my wrists, as if noticing my mounting fury.

“Her private physician, other than salivating all over her money, was terrified of her too. Even the people in our building were afraid of her. I think the ones who called the cops that night were new tenants who’d just moved in and had no idea who she was. ”

“You’re telling me everyone knew? Everyone?” My chest heaves, my anger so consuming that black dots cloud my vision. “And they did nothing?”

“Would you have gone against the mafia?” she asks. “Against hitmen, drug dealers, and human traffickers?”

“Yes.” If I weren’t a murderer who dealt with Renata behind the scenes, that’s exactly what I would’ve done. “I would’ve hired security for you and for whatever foster home you ended up in. Two, three, ten of them. But letting you stay with her? Fuck no.”

More tears soak my palms before she whispers, “Thank you.”

I draw her face to mine, kissing her as if she might disappear.

She almost did. That reminder alone turns me into a beast.

I’m not tentative or considerate like I’ve been over the past three days as I nip at her bottom lip.

Lilith doesn’t shy away from it. Moaning, she scratches at my wrists and pulls me closer, telling me she’s done needing to be handled gently.

“Come home with me.” I grind my hips into her, rubbing my hard cock over the softest parts of Lilith. She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. “I need you in my bed. Under my covers.”

“Really?” There’s excitement and another emotion I can’t place in her voice.

Doesn’t matter.

She’s safe and happy.

Mine.

“Yes.” I want her scent all over my sheets. I also need to deal with Harold. “Now.” My hands are greedy, sliding down Lilith’s neck, pinching her nipples over her sweatshirt. Then I remember. “Fuck. I have to chart. Give me a few minutes, and we’ll be out of here.”

“As long as you let me rub your back while you do it.” Those swollen, wet lips, how they curl into a wicked smirk. And her nails on my neck. Torture. “Please, Dr. Lockwood?”

“You know I can’t say no to that.” Another kiss. She’s alive. So fucking alive. “You’re here.”

As if understanding what I mean, her smile softens, and she says, “And I’m not going anywhere.”