Chapter 14 #5
He exhaled hard. "I believe that concludes our work for the evening," he ground out as we spilled forth on to the plaza, which had largely emptied out except for a few clusters, here and there, enjoying the cooler air and the carefully curated darkness of Verdant Ward at night.
The dramatic scenes of Xitera and its surrounding imperial systems still painted the outside of the museum in dramatic whorls of violet and cobalt, swirling moodily against the darkness.
There were still a few broadcasters lurking down below, and an idea took shape in my mind.
Once we reached the plateau between the flights of stairs, I nudged him over to one side, where the railing separated the edge of the white steps from the series of spiky plants and low bushes beyond, each gently lit with tiny, sparkling lights that reminded me of the moon gardens.
I pushed Araxis so that he bumped against the railing, the memory of him beneath me on that bench bright and present in my mind.
"Did you know," I said slowly, "that there are some rumours going around about us? "
Araxis's eyes tightened a little, upset. "Hm, I heard something about that earlier today."
Of course he had. "If I understand what’s being said," I murmured, one hand coming to rest on his hip; he nearly startled beneath my touch, eyes flaring wide, "we're playing at being together.
But, if I also understood that Zivanis sinnenthi correctly, because I'm such a... handful, it would be pretty good for your status if you had me tamed. So the worse I behave, the more impressive it is for you to have me in hand, to be able to exert control.” I tried the unfamiliar phrase in abayan. “Do I have that right?"
I watched the slight flutter of Araxis’s eyes, how his lips parted, the sharp little intake of breath. Interesting. "Sashen –" Araxis started, low. His hands were on the railing behind him, fingers flexing.
"And since there are cameras, and since we're at this big fancy party," I continued, "I don't see why it would be a problem for me to kiss you now.
If that would be appropriate. You tell me.
I'm still not sure about where the boundaries are.
" I let my hands drift up from his waist, tracing the front panels of his jacket, skating against his chest; I let one skim up to his shoulder, enjoying the strong lines of his body as I watched the way his eyes widened, as if – by looking at me with such careful and thorough attention – he might be able to drink me in as deeply as he wanted to.
"It would be inappropriate only because I would like you to kiss me because you want to, Sashen," Araxis said, swaying slightly as he leaned against the railing, like he was having a hard time keeping himself upright, "Not because it's work. Not for the benefit of anyone else."
"See, you just told me that we're done work," I said. "So this is just Sashen. And I want to kiss you, and if I can do that and show everyone how perfect you are –"
"I am certainly not perfect," he said, low, his stare fixed on my mouth like he was starving for me. "But – it will always be my pleasure to fulfill your desires, beloved."
"Then kiss me," I murmured in abayan, and Araxis allowed his body to curve forward toward mine, one hand sliding up the back of my neck as he pulled me against him and pressed his mouth against mine.
His lips were soft, my skin buzzing everywhere he touched me: one hand at the back of my head, fingers tangled in my hair; the other skating over my ribs, feeling the lines of my torso beneath the clothes I'd carefully chosen to impress; his knees had fallen apart and he'd pulled me in close, his thighs resting against my legs. And his mouth –
I could write poems about his mouth, if I knew the first thing about poetry: he held me in place, lips angled against mine as his cool tongue slipped into my mouth, certain and hungry and eager, and I wanted those perfect lips to trace every inch of my skin.
My fingers spasmed on his shoulder as I rocked against him; the little breathy sound, nearly a moan, that slipped from me was matched by the rumbling of his chest. Heat tightened in my stomach.
I wanted to touch him more; I wanted to be against him more; I wanted to crawl into his lap and have him ruck up the hem of my shirt and to map all of my fading bruises and –
One of his cool hands pressed against a sore rib, and I sucked in a sharp, pained breath.
At once, Araxis pulled back, releasing me – although I didn't step away, content between his knees.
His black eyes were glassy, a little dazed, but he frowned.
"You're in pain still," he said, voice nearly hoarse.
My chest hitched as I sucked in my next breath, wincing, but I smoothed the tight expression as quickly as I could. "It's nothing," I said, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his mouth again. "I'm fine. Did you want to head home? Or... we could find somewhere to grab a drink?"
I could tell he didn't believe me, but Araxis only nodded.
I reluctantly stepped back and he pushed himself off the railing, one hand settling in the curve of my lower back as we headed down the stairs and left the museum behind with its crowds and its media, its expectations and performances, as we instead went to find somewhere for just the two of us.
* * *
We did find a little place on the way home, a tea house tucked around the corner of an empty square.
And, sure, we could have gone home and had tea – but there was something about staying away for just a while longer that kept us insulated from the particular weight of being with the creche.
At the tea house, with its rattan walls and tables that were too high for a proper abayan tea, we could just be two people who happened to be grabbing a drink late at night.
We ducked beneath the fronds of feathery grass adorning the doorway and I found a table in one corner while Araxis placed an order at a screen set into the back wall.
Other than the occasional glimpse of a korzoi puttering around out back through the tiny window above the service counter, we were entirely alone.
"I've got something for you," I said once Araxis settled down with a tray replete with cups, a teapot, and little bowls of nuts and fruit and slices of some sort of pressed dough.
I fished around in my pocket and pulled out the gold bracelets, the charms jingling gently as I set them on the table.
"They're from Talvi. Here – this one's yours.
See: sword, teapot, flower. I'm pretty sure they're birthday presents.
They were concerned that you'd never gotten something to commemorate hatching. "
Araxis made a soft trill, sweet and melodic as I picked up his bracelet and did the clasp around his extended wrist. "Let me see yours," he murmured, scooping it off the glossy table and letting it dangle in the space between us.
The light from the lantern on the table glinted off the gold. "Hm. A leaf, a – dumpling?"
"The dumpling is Talvi," I explained.
"Ah, of course." Araxis smiled. "And this?" He touched the green gem.
I offered him my wrist, and he carefully clipped the bracelet – warm from being in my pocket – in place. "A treasure."
Araxis's fingers stilled against my skin, his stare flicking up so that he looked at me from behind those dark lashes. "Hm. Green, like your eyes." I had a moment to feel warmth blossom beneath my ribs, before he added, "I meant to ask, Sashen, if I might be permitted to… give you a birthday gift."
"What do you mean permitted?" I asked, ignoring the way my cheeks had warmed, my heart pattering against my chest. His fingers were still resting on my skin, gentle.
"I'm not yet confident in my grasp on dating customs." His thumb shifted, stroking my wrist bone, and the bracelet tinkled softly as it moved beneath his touch.
"I understand that small gifts are considered acceptable.
But… I'm not certain how to determine that threshold.
And you've said you haven't celebrated your birthday in many years, and I – I would not want to make you uncomfortable, in case it seems… " He trailed off.
In case it seemed like too much. I studied him. "I think it might depend on the gift," I said after a moment.
"Would you like to know? I could tell you, and then you could determine whether or not you would like it."
I let out a soft breath while Araxis watched, black stare intent. He was still being so careful with me; he was still so uncertain. What he needed, I thought, was confidence. "I trust you," I said. "I think you can figure out what feels right."
He ducked his head, pleased, and reluctantly shifted his hands away from my skin, instead pouring us tea, the sweet steam curling up from our cups.
"So," I said, resting my chin on one hand as I watched him. "What did you hear about us?"
"Hm." Araxis shifted in his chair, his thigh brushing mine under the table.
I pretended to not feel a frisson of pleasure at the contact – a pleasure that only burned brighter when I realized he was leaving his leg there, pressed against me.
An anchor, a connection. "I have heard that you're pretending to be tame because I am paying you. "
The light in the tea shop was dim, spilling forth in little circles of red and yellow from the lanterns set on each table, and the light panels half-hidden behind ornate wooden screens set into the ceiling.
Even so, I could see the shadows move beneath the line of his jaw as tension set him on edge.
"Sorry," I said. "We could talk about this later." Why did I have to ruin everything?
But Araxis only shook his head. "I'm not bothered by the rumours, Sashen, nor by talking about them. I was only recollecting Vivith's particular comments. What have you heard?"