4. Ellie #2
Oh, God. I was going to. It was racing to the surface now, and I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep it at bay.
Wasn’t sure I wanted to, even if it felt too fast. But Sully was determined now, licking and sucking and fucking his fingers in and out of me.
And I was once again drowning in him, in the pleasure, in the gnawing need to have him like this.
Sounds flew out of my mouth, ones I barely recognized.
Panting, whining, whimpering, and Sully devoured all of them, pulling them out of me until my breath caught in my throat because I was there.
On the precipice of all of this. And then I was crumbling, and more sounds slipped from my lips—ones that I might be embarrassed about tomorrow but couldn’t get myself to care about tonight.
Keeping them in would have been a hopeless cause anyway.
I hadn’t come that hard in years.
Sully pushed himself onto his elbows, wearing a half-smile. “Fuck, I hate that I didn’t drag that out.”
I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “You’d love to torture me, wouldn’t you?”
He pressed his lips together as though deciding what to say for a moment. “Sure, we’ll go with that.”
A frown tugged at the corner of my mouth. I didn’t understand half of his answers tonight, but I didn’t dare ask him to elaborate. This was supposed to be casual. This was casual. Something that meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.
But the way Sully’s eyes were fixed on me didn’t feel like nothing. His heady gaze wandered over every inch of me in my disheveled state, and I resisted the urge to smooth my hands over my hair, my dress, my face, knowing what I likely looked like and wishing I could appear a little less affected.
Sully’s attention wasn’t really on those parts of me, though. Not right now. His eyes had fallen back between my thighs, and they were staying there, making me squirm. I wasn’t uncomfortable, but I was so very…aware. And confused.
When the silence became too much to bear and too challenging to ignore, I probed him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Because I was too eager to taste you before, too distracted by your goddamn underwear, and I didn’t give myself a chance to just…
look.” Almost dazed, he dragged his fingers from my clit to my entrance, working two of them inside me again.
But slowly, this time. In a savoring sort of way. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me.”
I whimpered, and Sully’s teeth slid over his bottom lip—a slow, teasing slip of a motion.
“I want to get you off again and take my time,” he murmured, still transfixed by the twist of his fingers in and out of my cunt. “But I’m seconds from coming in my pants.”
Suddenly, his touch vanished, like he’d realized that his words just might come to fruition if he didn’t stop immediately. He pushed off his knees, standing and presenting me with the shape of his hard cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans.
Unable to help myself, I pushed into a sitting position and leaned forward to hook a finger in his belt loop. My gaze trailed from his buckle to his face before I said, “Come in my mouth instead.”
Sully’s jaw ticked, his eyes bright but unreadable.
The moment stretched, silence and tension simmering between us. I found I couldn’t move while waiting for his answer.
Finally, he lifted a hand to my face, cupping it and tracing his thumb over the shape of my mouth.
His voice had a rasp to it, but something darker also lingered there.
Something foreign to me. “You think I’m going to let you suck my cock, Eleanor?
” He tilted his head to the side, considering me.
“You think I’d let you suck even more life out of me? ”
My chest tightened, suddenly so full of pressure that I felt it ballooning out of control.
It took everything in me to push back, to fight against the pain and guilt threatening to topple me.
I channeled a different part of me, an older part that only existed in certain lights, and parted my lips, letting the tip of his thumb slide onto my tongue.
“Fuck,” he hissed. I clamped down, sucking, and Sully groaned, his eyes still locked on mine.
“Truth is, my cock wouldn’t even make it this far.
” It was a husky confession. He slid his thumb back and forth again.
“I wouldn’t even make it past the touch of your lips before I was coming on your tongue. ”
I pulled back, releasing his finger so I could talk. “So you don’t want to come in your pants, and you don’t want to come in my mouth. Where do you want to come?”
His lips cocked to the side, a touch of playfulness returning. “Did you or did you not take graduate courses at MIT, Eleanor?”
“You know the answer to that.”
He nodded. He did know. “Just like you know exactly how hard I’m about to fuck your pretty pussy.
” Sully bent forward, and I tipped my head back to maintain eye contact, my pulse taking off like a rocket.
His voice lowered. “How I’m going to come in it like it’s mine again.
” My heart fluttered, even knowing there was nothing romantic about how he’d said mine.
He still said it. “Do you still have your IUD?”
The abrupt switch in topic took me aback, but I shook my head. “No, I got it removed. It was making my periods unbearable.”
Sully’s brows drew together, dipping in a harsh V. “If you tell me you’re on the pill again—”
“I’m not,” I assured him but then gave him a funny stare. “But what would you do if I was?”
Sue me for being curious.
“I’d find them and flush them all down the toilet.” My lips curved, and Sully seemed annoyed by the presence of my smile. “Tell me you’re not. Please. I’m not fucking kidding, El.”
“I’m not,” I repeated because he seemed to need to hear it twice. And call me fucked up, but I liked it. That he still cared a little. “I’m not on any birth control.”
“You’re—” Sully stilled, seeming even more bewildered by that than when I’d said I’d removed my IUD.
But that copper contraption was the only birth control option I felt comfortable using after what had happened when I was on the pill, so I just…
decided not to use anything. I hadn’t been seeing anyone, anyway.
Sully cleared his throat, straightening. “You still want to do this, then?”
“I have condoms,” I said by way of answering. “But if you aren’t comfortable—”
“Where are the condoms?”
Sully’s voice was brisk, his expression severe as he caught sight of the toiletry bag I pointed to, sitting by the mirror behind him.
I was starting to wonder if maybe, despite the raging erection he was sporting as he moved across the room, he really didn’t want to do this.
But then his scowl explained itself when he said, “You really did have big plans when you came to Boston, huh?”
He pulled a condom off the top of an admittedly large stack inside the bag, and I tried to act casual.
Tried to act like I usually packed that many condoms, or any condoms at all, when I went on a work trip.
Tried to act like maybe my conscience hadn’t heard Sully will be there and secretly wished that this might happen.
Tried to act like I wasn’t immensely happy that it was, even if things were stilted between us, harsher than normal, but no less hot, no less electrifying.
His touch felt like home. Like water after weeks in the desert.
I tried to play it off, scoff. “Like you didn’t do the same thing.”
A brow rose, taunting me. “You think I packed an entire box of condoms to come to my brother’s engagement party?”
I shrugged and looked away, struggling with how intense his stare was. Like my insinuation was wild. “I don’t know where you pick up girls these days.”
Sully’s expression was only visible out of the corner of my eye, but I saw him tense. “Eleanor—”
“Did you know I was going to be there?” I cut in, blurting the one question I badly wanted to know the answer to.
And also interrupting whatever he was going to say.
I didn’t want to know where he picked up other girls.
I didn’t want to know anything about Sully and who he might have met after me, wasn’t sure I could handle it. “At Noah’s?”
Silence settled in the wake of my question, and I forced myself to look back at my ex-boyfriend. He hovered over me again, his head bent, gaze direct, waiting for me to return to it. And when I did, he said, “No.”
Something dislodged from my chest and worked its way into my throat.
“Did you know?” he asked.
Fuck.
Why I hadn’t expected the rebuttal was beyond me.
But I couldn’t lie.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Sully’s gaze flared, and then he was unbuckling his belt, unzipping his pants, pulling out an erection that was all for me.
“But you still came.” His eyes raked over me. “And you still wore that fucking dress.”
My lungs stopped working at the mention of my dress. The one I’d worn on my twenty-first birthday.
I hadn’t known for sure if he would remember it, but I certainly hadn’t expected him to comment on it. Or to look so angry about it.
“You don’t like this dress?”
“I have memories of that dress on my bedroom floor.” He ripped open a condom wrapper. “And seeing it makes it really hard to think about anything else.”
I pushed forward onto my palms, watching as Sully smoothed the condom over his sizable length. I tried not to stare at it. “So that’s why we’re here, huh? Do you want to take a picture this time? It might last longer than a memory.”
Sully froze, and I could tell that, for whatever reason, the question pissed him off. But I couldn’t put my finger on precisely why it would.