18. Ellie
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ellie
LATER, I SAT ON the front porch as I waited for Sully. The sticky August air clung to my skin, making it hard to tell if the moisture beading the back of my neck was coming from me or the environment. Probably a bit of both—a combination of humidity and nerves.
I could sit inside to wait, but it was too weird having Sully knock on the front door like this wasn’t his home. So now I was here, circumventing that entire situation, at least for today.
When Sully pulled up in front of the house, I leaned back on my hands and studied the scene as he emerged from his jeep.
Or, more specifically, I studied the stretch of his plain, short-sleeved shirt as it fit over his broad chest, a single pocket sewn into it over his heart.
I also studied the way that same shirt was haphazardly half-tucked into his medium-washed jeans.
God, he’d always nailed the effortlessly sexy look, and that certainly hadn’t changed.
My eyes wandered up to his longer hair and the damp ends.
He’d probably rolled right out of the shower and shot straight over here.
And now he was raking his hands through that blond hair, and once again, I was looking at the stretch of his shirt, only this time, it was over his biceps and—
“Hey, El.”
Fuck.
Sully stopped about halfway up the sidewalk, like he’d only just noticed me sitting there and was too afraid to get closer. He slid his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his feet. He shot his half-smile at me, and then it was official: I was sweating even more than I’d been before.
I’d always thought Sully was cute when we were kids, but we weren’t kids anymore.
And while he still had that undeniable boyish charm that I suspected he’d forever possess, his sharp jawline, cocky smirk, and corded-muscled arms reminded me that he was all man.
And I’d be lying if I said he didn’t make my insides turn to liquid when he smiled at me.
“Hey!” I said, a little too brightly. “I was just…” I squinted at him, putting my hand above my eyes to act as a visor. “Soaking up some remaining summer sun.”
Sun that was absolutely frying me to death.
Sully pursed his lips. He looked from me to the porch I was sitting on, to the rosebushes on either side of the stairs, and I knew he was remembering moments in time when we’d been in this exact same position, but things had been so incredibly different.
“Are you wearing sunscreen?” he asked, dropping his gaze from my face.
I snorted. “Don’t worry, Sullivan. The baby—which is only the size of a pea, I might add—is not going to get sunburnt.”
His expression didn’t change, and I had to look away, my eyes wandering to the bag in his hand.
“Please tell me you got—”
“Extra queso?” he cut in, cocking a brow. “Eleanor. Have some fucking faith in me.”
I grinned. “Ah, good. Maybe I will keep you around, then.”
I regretted the teasing words the moment they came out of my mouth because Sully clearly took them to heart, and his expression shuttered.
“You better keep me around,” he grunted, closing the distance between us on the walkway.
“I’m good for a lot of things, El. For house maintenance, food delivery, and—” He stopped in front of me, bending slightly at the waist and lowering his face.
“—in case you forgot how all this happened in the first place, darling, I’m especially good at making you beg for my—”
“Sullivan,” I interrupted breathlessly. I’d tried to hold out, tried not to cut in, but I wasn’t sure I could handle hearing him say it. My body was already drenched in enough heat.
But even more than that, I wanted him to know that he didn’t need to convince me of anything. I knew he was good for a lot of things. So many things. I knew how badly he wanted to help, and I suspected it was hurting him not to.
“I know,” I promised, holding his gaze. Luckily, he was blocking the onslaught of the sun now, but it meant his face was shadowed, and I couldn’t get a good read on it. I hoped he could see mine better, see the truth in my eyes. “Thank you for bringing dinner. I’ll pay you back.”
“Pay me back?” He straightened, holding out his hand to help me off the porch step. “The fuck you will.”
“I have a big girl job,” I told him, even while taking his hand and pretending the skin-to-skin contact wasn’t burning me more than the sun had been. “I can pay for myself.”
“I’m aware,” he said, but there was something about his voice.
Something…bitter. “I’m well aware of your big girl job and your big girl degree and all the things you went off and did—” He cut himself off, thank God, because every word had been a knife in my chest. “But I have a big boy job, too. And what the hell do you think my mother would say if she found out I’d gotten a girl pregnant and then wasn’t paying for her goddamn dinner, Eleanor? ”
That got a small smile out of me. It was funny to imagine—Anne’s reaction.
“You’re still just a little afraid of her, aren’t you?”
Sully gave me a look. “And you’re not?” Then he shook his head. “Of course you’re not.”
He was smiling now. Well, almost. It was more like a faint quirk of his lips, but I was going to take it.
“Well, thank you,” I said, giving in. If he wanted to pay for my tacos, he could pay for the tacos. “For dinner.”
He nodded and gave a wary look at the house behind me.
“Do you want to go for a drive?” he asked after a long moment. “In my car, not yours. I don’t trust yours. Maybe we could stop to eat at Winwood Park. Then head to the pharmacy.”
I nodded because, yeah, some fresh air away from Maple Street sounded good.
Sully led the way to his jeep and opened the door for me when we reached it, giving an over-the-top whirring motion with his hand as if to say, “After you, milady.” I shot him a little eye roll because he was being ridiculous.
All week, he’d been a bit ridiculous. With the tacos, and the car, and the utilities in the basement, and then last night, when he texted me a link to The Hobbit on audio since I wouldn’t let him stay for a bedtime story.
I didn’t really mind, though. It was nice, essentially getting the girlfriend treatment again. But I had to keep reminding myself that he was only doing it because of the baby, which almost made me feel like I’d cheated my way back into his life.
Sully was unusually quiet when he got in the car, his hands flexing on the wheel as he chewed on his bottom lip. I wanted to ask what he was thinking but wasn’t sure he would tell me anyway.
Before I knew it, we’d made it to Winwood, a lakeside preserve that staged the great capture-the-flag battle in the summer of 2016, among other things.
But I specifically remember that summer and how Sully and I had been no help to the rest of the neighborhood, given that we’d hidden in the slide on the playground and made out the whole time.
There would be no making out today, and I tried not to look at the playground as Sully parked the car and rolled open the windows and sunroof so the breeze could sift through the otherwise stifling air.
The lake sparkled just beyond the dashboard, catching the light of the sun as it lowered in the sky.
I unbuckled, and Sully stared at the seat belt in my hand for a long moment, as though he wanted to tug it back over my body despite us sitting in an unmoving vehicle.
But then he unfroze to grab a paper bag from the back seat, opening it to hand over a foil-wrapped taco that I knew to be the best taco in the world.
“I got all the sauces you like,” he declared and then set them on the center console, carefully unlidding them. It was a disaster waiting to happen, but I didn’t interrupt.
“Thank you,” I said and meant it. “This is the first thing that has looked and sounded appetizing all day.”
“It would be tragic if the baby took away your love for tacos.”
I laughed lightly. “It would be.”
I bit into the cheesy, meaty goodness and couldn’t help a moan from escaping when the flavors mixed and the hint of lime hit my taste buds. Yep, this was what I needed. This was everything I’d ever needed and more.
Preparing for another bite, I dove into the selection of toppings, smothering my taco with a salsa that, if I remembered correctly, was like heaven on Earth.
I did—remember correctly. Another unavoidable throaty noise of appreciation slipped out of me as I practically bounced in my seat with childlike excitement.
“Good, El?” Sully muttered, and I straightened from the slight hunch I’d been in as I coveted my taco. My eyes flew to my ex-boyfriend, who I’d actually forgotten was there for a second, and then I swallowed, nodding as I licked my lips.
Sully’s gaze dropped to them and lingered.
“Yes,” I admitted, and then licked my lips again, afraid that there was salsa on them since Sully was still staring at my mouth.
He wrenched his gaze away, briefly letting it meet mine. Then he looked up, staring out the sunroof. I followed his gaze, watching the branches rustle above as squirrels bounced from one tree to the next.
“Aren’t you hungry?” I asked, starting to feel a little sheepish.
He released a pent-up sigh and then mumbled something beneath his breath as he dove into the paper bag.
His response confused me, so I asked, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
A husky chuckle left his lips, warming me from my head to my toes.
“Nothing.” He gave me a soft side smile as he reached across the car to wipe the corner of my mouth. Apparently, I did have salsa on my face. His thumb traced along the curve of my lower lip as he held my gaze, and I shivered despite the warmth in the air.
“Are you sure?” I repeated, my voice airy, barely audible.
Sully didn’t answer me for another prolonged moment, but his thumb still skirted along the underside of my mouth. Meanwhile, I couldn’t breathe, desperate for his response and wanting to lean into his touch. Staying still was a conscious effort.
“I’m just thinking about Boston,” he explained, a little tortured. “And your mouth. And how I didn’t get to…”