4. Jonathan #2
I crossed my arms across my chest as the muscles of my neck tensed. Heat crackled across my entire body. “Does it ever occur to you that there are some people who are better as interviewees than they are as actual employees?” I asked pointedly. “That’s Lina Lee.”
Shoua tipped her head as she hummed. “But you’ve been saying the same thing about her for ten years, ever since high school.
It’s also the same thing you’ve said the last twenty times you’ve brought her up since you started working with her a week ago.
” My cousin showed me no sympathy with the shake of her head.
“If anything, it sounds like you’re on a power trip. ”
I gawked. “I am not on a power trip!”
Anthony was grinning wide and fascinated.
“Look, you know how I finally decided to get my wisdom tooth taken out? Well, Shoua and I went in to grab pain meds and antibiotics the other day. We ended up talking to her since you were busy. I’ll be honest, she’s not as bad as you’re saying. And she’s nice!” he insisted.
“She’s not nice,” I muttered through gritted teeth.
Anthony shrugged, sipping on his can of coke. “She’s not fake.”
I parted my lips, ready to argue, but Shoua spoke up first. She placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Jonathan, we get it. You don’t like her. But I think the way you’re treating her at work is prejudicial and biased.”
“Prejudicial! How am I being prejudicial and biased when—” I started as Anthony interrupted me.
“Has anyone else on your team said anything bad about her behavior or personality?”
I swallowed down the sharp tang of pride down my esophagus. It hurt to do so, but I knew I should. Lying would be too childish. “No.”
“You’re the only one who has issues with her?” asked Shoua.
My lack of answer was deafening, and I knew I couldn’t make myself look reasonable even in the eyes of the people I was closest to. Shoua and Anthony shared a glance. They both nodded their heads slowly.
I scoffed at them as my stout arrived. “I just don’t like her!”
“That sounds like a you problem, Jonathan,” laughed Anthony.
I took a swig of my drink, in disbelief. Could I be prejudiced and biased? Possibly. Would I ever admit it out loud? No.
“Have you even apologized about what you said to her?” asked Shoua.
I knew I shouldn’t have texted our group chat about what I said to Lina after her first day on the job. Those words were too much, even for me. I knew that the moment they left my mouth.
“No.” I couldn’t look at my cousin as she let out an exasperated sigh.
“Jonathan! You can’t just say you hate one of your pharmacists and not apologize,” she exclaimed.
“I didn’t tell her I hated her. I said I didn’t like her and didn’t look forward to working with her,” I corrected her.
Shoua’s almond-shaped eyes grew wide as her mouth parted. “That’s practically the same thing!”
Anthony shook his head. “That’s because he’s not sorry. Right?”
“I’m not,” I shrugged. I downed the rest of my glass of stout in one gulp and flagged down another bartender for a second glass.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my cousin’s frustration.
She shook her head again. “Even if you’re not, it’s not okay for you to be an asshole manager,” scolded Shoua.
“That’s not the type of person you are. Who is Lina Lee turning you into?
You’re practically unrecognizable when you talk about her. ”
Disappointment finally washed over me when I heard Anthony let out a long, rough sigh.
Although I called him ‘my childhood friend,’ he had always meant so much more to me.
I was six when my father passed away, and Anthony’s family moved next door.
Our moms were best friends, so growing up with the Hughes family nearby was the greatest childhood any boy without a father could ask for.
Auntie Gao and Uncle Gary were like my second mom and dad. I could walk through their front door tonight, pop open their fridge, gorge until I was stuffed, and Auntie would still come in and insist I needed to eat more. Their sons, Anthony and his twin Andy, weren’t just my friends . . .
They were my older brothers.
I grew up with the two, idolized both, and now, I had disappointed one of them.
“Shoua’s right.” Anthony’s usual jovial, lighthearted voice was gone.
In its place was a stern, firm tone. “You should apologize to Lina. Yeah, you don’t like her.
But you don’t need to like her to be a good boss.
And she doesn’t need to be likable to get the job done.
You two are adults in the real world. This isn’t high school, and you aren’t teenagers anymore.
You need to draw the line between what’s personal and professional, Jonathan. ”
He placed a strong, warm hand on my shoulder, as Shoua had done earlier. He squeezed it, as if reassuring me that I was better than this.
He was right. I was better than this.
On Monday morning, Lina arrived at 8:45 a.m. on the dot, despite not being scheduled to open today. She didn’t spare me a single glance as she walked into the pharmacy using her own set of keys. By then, I’d already brewed a fresh batch of coffee and was pouring myself a cup.
I opened my mouth to apologize, wanting to get it out of the way first thing today, but I couldn’t bring myself to mutter the words.
I shuffled my feet as she took her seat by the break room table.
I had brought in a half dozen freshly baked croissants from a bakery near my place.
But she had yet to approach the pink box or show any interest in them.
I shuffled again, and this finally caught Lina’s attention. She glanced up. For the first time in a week, we made eye contact. My skin flushed immediately, making my entire body hot and bothered. I stood there staring at her with my mouth wide open, getting ready to apologize.
Before I could, Lina’s eyes quickly scanned over me. Perplexed, her eyebrows crumpled together and her pesky mouth opened. “Can I help you with something?”
Her choice of words and her condescending tone didn’t just wake me up. It riled up my loathing for her instantly, stirring up that intense, all-consuming emotion from its weak confinements and sending vicious words straight to the tip of my tongue.
I took one last glance at her, grabbed my mug of coffee, and stepped out of the break room all the way out the back door for some cool fresh air.
If I didn’t, I wasn’t certain I could keep my mouth from saying something I would regret.
But one thing was clear about this whole mess I’d created between Lina and me . . .
If I were going to be known as an asshole manager who couldn’t put aside personal feelings in the workplace, then so be it. I wasn’t going to apologize to her.
Fuck no.