10. Lina
Lina
Growing up, I was known as the easy child, the youngest of three after an older sister and brother.
Raising me was so effortless that, as far as my parents were concerned, I was a child, then suddenly an adult, and now a pharmacist. My parents always loved to say that when they bragged to anyone who’d listened to them.
Between my siblings and I, I was the least complicated.
The smartest one. The child who never had to be told to be the best.
I kept my head down at home and at school. I kept to myself, doing the only thing I was good at—staying quiet and studying. I never caused trouble or inconvenience to my parents or anyone else.
No, never Lina.
An easy child, according to my parents. Now, a quiet, reserved, and closed-off adult. Or, even, a bitch.
I knew Jonathan wanted to call me this. Whenever he looked at me, I could see the word forming across the surface of his eyes, one letter at a time, large and bold: B-I-T-C-H. I didn’t mind because it was true.
I was a bitch.
I was the bitch he never liked. I was the bitch he remembered every single detail about from high school. I was also the same bitch who made his dick twitch at the slightest touch.
I would say I had the upper hand if I hadn’t ripped my tote bag and revealed I’d been carrying around a sex toy I never intended on using.
But after embarrassing myself like that, I was in no position to act like the one with power in our strange, tension-fueled relationship.
The only thing I wanted was an apology for how he had been treating me, without justification, from the moment I started working with him.
I didn’t expect him to give it to me. I doubt it was sincere, but it was a start.
I sipped my orange juice as my best friend, Mary Cha, squealed out a laugh after I explained what happened to her. Her laughter almost rattled the glass cup against my teeth, but then she stopped to breathe and wiped the tears dripping down her red face.
We sat in the middle of my small living room, with some random reality TV show playing. We hadn’t had time to see each other ever since I started my new job, but I’d kept her updated through texts and quick phone calls.
I hadn’t told Mary about what happened with the birthday gift she gave me until tonight. I knew it would be best to save it for our little monthly Sunday get-togethers at my place.
“Lina, you’re going to have to tell that story again. Please,” she breathed.
“No. It’s your fault this even happened!” I exclaimed. I gulped the rest of my juice to suppress the heat flaring across my body.
Mary smiled, wide and big, making me soften for a split second. I loved seeing the apples of my best friend’s cheeks flush with smiles and hearing her laughter. She had the kind of cute, shrill laugh that always made people laugh with her—except this was no laughing matter.
With my face hotter than before, I groused, “Stop laughing! This was your fault!”
She sipped on her glass of Pinot gris. “It wasn’t!
I charged the vibrator and gave it to you as one of your many amazing birthday gifts, because I want you to start having fun and date immediately.
I purposely threw it in your bag so you’d use it right away when you got home.
Not for you to throw it at Jonathan Lo.”
She was mid-sip of her wine when a shrieking laugh ripped through her.
The alcohol sprayed from her mouth across my wonky, uneven coffee table and across the untouched charcuterie board I put together.
I didn’t even blink. She had what was coming for her.
I handed a napkin to her as she half wheezed, half laughed.
“Did you want some water?” I asked.
With the shake of her head, her expression dialed down to a softer and calmer voice. A gentle smile was still on her lips. “Is he dating anyone?”
I flashed her a look of furrowed brows and a grimace. I never paid attention to who and what my coworkers talked about unless it pertained to work. Their personal lives were their own, and it was none of my business to remember what they disclosed to me in a professional setting.
With Jonathan, I only remembered because I thought the patient he was talking to was sweet and amusing.
“No, he’s not,” I answered. Mary cocked her brows at me. “What?”
Her eyes sparkled, and her smile instantly stretched wide again. “That was a quick answer!”
“A patient asked him if he was dating anyone; that’s why I remembered. Usually, I wouldn’t care.”
Mary giggled. “Well, if that’s the case, I know exactly what you can do to get him to stop being such an ass at work.”
I straightened my spine with a blink. “What is it?”
As much as I enjoyed pushing Jonathan’s buttons and reflecting his pettiness back to him, I didn’t want this to drag on. Yes, he apologized. However, his antics continued here and there. This could turn into another week of unnecessary tension, another week I could be closer to getting terminated.
Before coming to Sierra, I worked myself to the bones.
I had no breaks or extra help at the previous pharmacy I was at.
With me being the sole licensed pharmacist for most of my shifts, I couldn’t even leave the floor for a bathroom break.
It was illegal for a pharmacy to operate and dispense medication without one.
This often meant I had to wait until we shut the pharmacy down for lunch or until another pharmacist came in for the night shift. It was horrible, and it pushed me to the point where, just a month ago, I had a kidney infection. That was the last straw for me.
Apart from Jonathan, our team was great. The workload was manageable. Most of our patients were kind and understanding. I took a pay cut transitioning to this smaller, independent pharmacy. Even with a manager who didn’t like me, I was happier here.
Here, I wasn’t burning out. I was able to take at least one break throughout the day. I could use the restroom whenever I needed to. My feet didn’t ache the same way it did at my previous work. With Jonathan on the floor with me, I could also rely on him.
Here, I could finally breathe. I’d love to stay. If Mary had advice that would help me continue working at Sierra, I’d listen.
My best friend leaned in close to me. “Maybe you should ask Jonathan to teach you how to use that vibrator. From what I remember, he was an expert with his fingers when we were in the same ceramics class senior year. I’m sure he could lend you some assistance there.”
“MARY, no!” I screamed, pulling away so quickly I almost concussed myself with the loud bang of my head against the wall.
She shrugged, finishing her glass of wine. “Your vibrator already picked him.”
“Picked him? It fell out of my bag!” I screeched.
Mary just smiled. That big, wide stretch of her lips twisted into a creepy expression. Her eyes glittered brightly as she tipped her face closer to mine. I shifted in my seat to create the necessary distance.
“You’re hot. He’s hot. You’re both hot. Connect your bodies and make a wildfire, Lina! DO IT!”
I may have told Mary about the vibrator incident.
But I never said anything about what happened in the tiny janitorial closet.
I knew if I disclosed that to her, her imagination would transcend to another realm, and I wouldn’t be able to pull her out.
She was a great friend, but she had a wildly active imagination.
Her ability to envision endless possibilities was something I could never do—I cherished her for that.
However, what happened in that closet was between Jonathan and I, and it would stay that way.
I covered my mouth in mortification as her shrill laugh rang out. “Please don’t ever tell me to connect my body to any man ever again.”
Mary waved dismissively. “You’re a virgin. Go have fun with a hot man!”
“The supposedly hot man you’re talking about is my manager. He’s not only our high school classmate, but my boss. It would be sexual harassment if I were bold enough to even suggest—”
“So, you’re considering it?” The glitter in her eyes blasted into a flaming inferno. I opened my mouth to stop her from insinuating anything else, but her lips were faster than mine. “Lina, you just listed the logistics of my suggestion! That means you’re considering it.”
“No. Never! I was literally stating the facts.”
Mary smoothed a stray strand of her midnight-black hair behind her ear and winked. “Never say never.”
I got off the couch and shrugged on my hoodie. With one look at her, I said dryly, “You’re drunk. I’m going to take you home.”
“Fine, meanie!” joked Mary, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m perfectly good, by the way. All I had was one drink. I can drive myself home.”
I walked into the kitchen to grab a huge glass of water and plopped myself back on the couch. I handed it to her. “Drink up, ma’am.”
She scoffed, setting it down. We were quiet for a moment. I didn’t bother watching the reality TV show playing, but Mary turned to glance at it. Her smile was soft as she faced me again, her cheeks pink with care and her eyes glistening with sisterly love.
“We’ve known each other since high school. I’ve never seen you so worked up over a single person before. Jonathan Lo gets you agitated, doesn’t he?” she asked.
I concealed my hesitation behind a mask of thoughtful consideration. Does he really get me riled up? Not necessarily. I was just tired of his childish pettiness.
“This is the most I’ve also heard you talk about any man, Lina. You never talk about men. But you talk about Jonathan. A lot. You text about him practically every day. You even talked about him the moment I got here,” she continued.
“Only because his behavior at work is unprofessional and unnecessary. If he knew how to set his personal feelings aside, then I wouldn’t care,” I defended.
Mary scoffed. “What a PR-trained answer.”
“How’s Eric?” I asked, changing the subject. She narrowed her eyes at me but let me have it.
Eric Hang and Mary are high school sweethearts. They met during P.E. back in our sophomore year. While I was busy trying not to die from running a mile around the school tracks, they were busy flirting with one another. I wasn’t surprised when they got married when we turned twenty.
“His back injury has gotten a lot better. He’s practically back to normal,” she answered. “But the doctor said he should take it easy for the next few weeks.”
“That’s good. I’m glad to hear.”
“Me too. I’m glad his muscles just needed rest. I know it isn’t easy being a warehouse manager, and he’s always on the floor helping. But I think this back injury has made him realize that he can’t afford to do that anymore. Not with us thinking about having kids.”
I nodded slowly but came to an abrupt pause. I looked at her with wide eyes as she stared back, nodding. We both laughed as I attacked her with a hug.
“You’re going to be an amazing mom, Mary,” I whispered. “You and Eric are going to be the best parents ever.”
“You’re also going to be the greatest aunt ever,” she chuckled.
“I’m already an aunt!”
“Oh, right! I forgot about your siblings’ kids!”
I shook my head as we shared another snicker. I squeezed her hand, ready to tell her how excited I was for her, when a loud and booming knock came from my front door. The door frame shook ominously as the person on the other side of it started screaming.
“Open the damn door, Lina!” shouted my older brother, Neng.
His voice and actions were filled with such intense rage that I instinctively grabbed Mary’s hand. I pulled her into my room.
“Stay here,” I whispered to her. To protect her, I closed my bedroom door.
She said a few words, but I couldn’t register them.
The only things I could hear were the sound of my heartbeat ringing in my ears and Neng pounding furiously on my door.
Sweat beaded down my back as I stood in my hallway, facing the front door.
It quaked violently again with another menacing pound.
My hands shook as I held tightly onto my phone.
“I know you’re here! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” he screamed.
The doorknob was jostled with such force I thought he was going to break it. I started panicking as my ribcage ached from the intensity of my rapidly beating heart. Even if I couldn’t protect myself, I needed to protect Mary.
My legs were wobbly as I clung to the facade of being calm and unbothered. I wanted my brother to believe he could cause a scene, scream like a child, embarrass himself, and I still wouldn’t bend to his demands.
“Go home, Neng. Or I’m calling the cops,” I said firmly, like a mother telling her child to stop throwing a temper tantrum.
“Just give me money, and I’ll be gone!” he yelled. His voice echoed through the hall outside again.
With the little courage I had, I walked up to my front door and dialed 911 on speaker. Slowly punching in one number at a time.
“FUCK YOU! I’m leaving!” screamed Neng, pounding on my door before I could press the last 1.
His huffing and heavy footsteps shuffled down the hall, accompanied by curses muttered under his breath.
Mary walked to where I stood, saying nothing.
She grabbed my hand and I held on tight.
We waited a while before speaking to ensure he wasn’t returning, only taking shallow and quiet breaths.
One at a time. When it was certain he wasn’t coming back, I breathed a sigh.
“When did he find out you lived here?” asked Mary.
I couldn’t answer her.
“You’ve barely lived here for 3 months. When did Neng find out you moved here?” she asked again.
I couldn’t even look at her. “Two months ago.”
“What?” Her voice sounded choked. She yanked her hand out of my grasp and stumbled a step back away from me.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me? Your brother has been stalking and harassing you again for the last two months, and you didn’t think to tell me once?
You have options, Lina. You can live with me and Eric! ”
I ducked my head low. “I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
“You’re my best friend, Lina. You’ll never be a burden to me.”
Searing emotions bloomed in my chest and rose to my neck in a rapid ascension. It continued its sweeping, intense journey to my cheeks, welling up in my eyes. Heat burned my eyes as tears poured in fiery torrents down my cheeks.
Mary’s arms wrapped around me in a warm bear hug. Her hugs were always the best, too. I cried into her shoulder as she did into mine, whispering bouts of apologies. She patted my back like the sister I never had, quietly affirming it was fine. Her touch was comforting and loving.
I couldn’t recall how many times I’d already cried over this situation. The stalking. The harassment. The grief of losing an older sibling to a stranger I hardly recognized.
This was painful, and I didn’t want anyone else to carry this hurt except for me. I love Mary, but I couldn’t run to her every time Neng came by. If I couldn’t handle him on my own, then no one else should.
The situation was mine to bear and mine to handle. I didn’t need to make it anyone else’s concern.