45. Jonathan
Jonathan
TWO MONTHS LATER
I grinned, kneeling down to brush away whatever dirt was on my dad’s tombstone as I came eye to eye with his picture on the headstone.
Julie used to say all the time that his photo didn’t capture his true personality at all.
He looked too stern and serious. But there, at the corner of his lips where they tipped up, was where our dad’s true nature lay.
Everyone who knew him knew he loved to smile and laugh. Unfortunately, I no longer remembered much about him. He passed away when I was too young to have enough memories with him, but still old enough to understand that people didn’t come back from death.
I knew my dad through the memories of the people around me—from my mom to Julie and even from the Hughes twins, who were old enough to create core memories with him.
I got to know him best through old VHS tapes of our birthdays, camping and fishing trips, and random visits to the Hughes household.
Uncle Gary and Auntie Gao had recorded them on their camcorder.
They were able to capture my dad, who was now frozen in time at thirty years old.
Never changing, never growing older. In about two years, I would be the same age he was when he passed away.
I smiled at my dad, knowing he’d be proud of how much had changed, and how much we’d all grown over the twenty-two years since he’d been gone.
“Hey, Dad. It’s Jonathan,” I said softly, stepping back to where Lina stood. “I wanted to introduce you to someone special to me. Her name is Lina. She and I made the spicy fish soup you love, and this boiled chicken we brought today.”
In Hmong culture, it was customary to bring food for deceased loved ones. We believed the soul was split into three after death. A part of the soul was reincarnated while another part stayed in the person’s resting place. The third part of our soul wandered the world.
Against his headstone were food that we prepped together in small disposable containers. I made sure to pack one of the containers to the brim with freshly steamed jasmine rice so he could fully enjoy his meal in spirit.
I held Lina’s hand as she held onto mine.
“Julie will be giving birth to your first grandchild any day now. Everyone’s excited, but no one is as excited and happy as Andy.
They also signed the papers for their new home this past month,” I updated him.
“It’ll be close to Mom, Auntie Gao, and Uncle Gary.
Shoua and Anthony also recently moved out of their duplex and will be getting married in a month.
Aside from these things, not much has happened since we came here in March. But I thought you should know.”
The last time I was here, it was his death anniversary. With everything happening one after another, I wanted to come and update my dad on our busy lives. I also wanted to introduce him to the one I loved.
I squeezed Lina’s hand as I continued speaking as if he were there in front of me.
“I want you to know that we’re doing well.
Mom’s great. Julie’s happy. And me? I’m doing my best, too.
I’m going to move out soon. Mom and me agreed it’s time.
I don’t have to worry too much about her anymore,” I said quietly.
I paused for a moment, allowing silence and a warm breeze to pass us by.
“It’s been twenty-two long years since you’ve been gone, Dad. There hasn’t been a day we don’t miss you or mourn the time when it was still the four of us. But with time we’ve all finally found our happiness,” I finally said.
Lina squeezed my hand. My grin broadened as I held up our intertwined hands—showing her off. “I know you’ll be happy for us. I also know you’d be just as excited as Mom and Julie to finally meet the person I care about the most,” I continued. “I love you, Dad, and I’ll always miss you.”
I may not remember much about him, but it was all true. I would always miss him.
Lina didn’t know what to say, so she was mostly quiet at the cemetery, which was perfectly fine. It was hard to know what to say to the dead, especially one you’d never met or never truly known.
I didn’t know what to say to my dad either as I became older. All I could say was that it was me, Jonathan, visiting him. But I’d eventually grown accustomed to talking to him, as if he were just there and watching over us with that warm and gentle smile of his.
“You look a lot like your dad,” Lina said softly as we drove back, just in time for Julie and Andy’s housewarming party.
“Yeah?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the freeway.
She squeezed the hand I had interlaced with hers. “Yes. Sharp eyes. Wide lips. Defined jaw. Handsome.”
I hummed, enjoying what I heard. “Say that again.”
“Sharp eyes—”
I laughed. “Just tell me I’m handsome.”
Lina blew out a long breath, feigning irritation. “You’re handsome. Happy?”
I smirked. “Very.”
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see her shaking her head. But it was the way she squeezed my hand again that let me know she was just as amused by my silliness.
A WEEK LATER
When I got the call around ten this morning from a frantic Andy that Julie’s water broke, I assumed she’d deliver the baby later in the day.
None of us planned on her giving birth within three hours.
We’d all been excitedly waiting for this kid since he’d be the first grandchild of all his grandparents.
Now, he was finally here.
I swallowed hard as Lina and me stepped out of the elevator and onto the maternity ward. I wasn’t a stranger to kids since most of my cousins are now married with children of their own. But it was different with this being Julie and Andy’s child.
“You’ll be a great uncle,” Lina said to me when I paused outside my sister’s room.
I looked at her bright, doe eyes and sincere smile. “I’m not so sure about that. To be honest, I think Anthony will be the better uncle.”
“You’re thinking too much. He’ll love you two, regardless,” she said. “What matters in the end is that you’re there for him when he needs you, through the good and the bad.”
I nodded, smiling weakly.
We stepped inside together as I held the pink peony bouquet we got for my sister. My mom, Kham, Auntie Gao, and Uncle Gary were already there, cooing over the hospital bassinet where the baby and Andy were. Julie smiled exhaustedly at me when I went straight to her.
Before I could say congrats, Anthony and Shoua came into the room. Their faces were red with a certain glow. Whether it was the baby fever since they were getting married in two weeks, or if Andy’s call twenty minutes ago had interrupted something, I didn’t want to know.
“Congrats,” said Anthony as softly as possible, holding up a basket of assorted flowers.
“Congrats, Julie and Andy,” I said, looking at my sister and brother-in-law. “What’s our baby nephew’s name since you two were tight-lipped about it?”
They announced that they finally decided on a name during their housewarming party a week ago but refused to tell us when we asked. It was supposed to be a surprise when the baby was born.
Julie looked over at Andy excitedly. He picked the little bundle up from the bassinet and brought him over.
He was a tiny, pink baby with eyes that were screwed shut.
Straight black hair peeked out from underneath his small cap.
An overwhelming sense of love came over me as I looked at him.
He was only a few hours old, and I already knew I’d do anything in my power to give him the world.
With tears in Julie’s eyes, she laughed softly. “Jonathan, Anthony, I want you two to meet Nathan Nhia Hughes, your nephew,” she said.
I smiled at my sister, my vision blurry as I squeezed Lina’s hand. I couldn’t speak, but Anthony was still able to.
“Hey, he looks a bit like you and me, Jonathan,” he pointed out, voice gentle.
“His eyes are closed now. But he has light brown eyes like you, too,” Andy said, placing a hand on his shoulders and squeezing it lovingly.
Anthony beamed at his older twin brother, his eyes shiny.
“You named him after us?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Julie nodded as Andy wiped away her tears. My mom and Auntie Gao’s sniffles could be heard in the background. “Nathan from Jonathan and Nhia from Anthony’s Hmong name—his two uncles.”
Anthony snorted softly. “You sure about that? I think you two might regret that decision.”
We both shared a look across Julie’s hospital bed. “That kid’s going to be a menace, exactly like his namesakes,” I nodded.
“If not, we’ll make sure he is.” Anthony nodded back. We both grinned mischievously and fist bumped over Julie, leaving everyone laughing quietly.
“We wouldn’t doubt it,” smiled Andy. “We figured he’d be a troublemaker.”
“He’s the first grandchild, which means he’ll probably be spoiled and bratty so—” Julie said before I interrupted her.
“Wait. Is that why you named him after me?” I gaped.
The twins, Shoua, and my sister had always claimed I was the most spoiled and the brattiest out of all of them. It wasn’t true. I admit I usually had the best birthday parties and Christmas gifts growing up, but I wasn’t spoiled. Or bratty.
“Yeah,” nodded both Julie and Andy.
I scoffed, feigning offense as Lina stifled a laugh. Julie simply shrugged. She asked, “Who wants to hold the baby next?”
“Us,” said Anthony, holding out his arms and looking over his shoulder at Shoua. She beamed as excitedly as he did, tiptoeing to rest her chin on his shoulder.
“Me next,” I quickly said as Julie grinned at me.
Andy helped transfer Nathan from Julie into his arms. My sister turned to Lina and me. “Thank you for bringing me peonies,” she smiled. “They’re pink and paired with snapdragons too!”
I shrugged. “They’re your favorite. Lina suggested the snapdragons, or whatever they are.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “I thought you couldn’t remember what my favorite flower was.”
“I remember all the favorite flowers of the important women in my life. Mom’s are roses. Auntie Gao loves lilies, especially tiger lilies. Yours are pink peonies. Shoua’s are sunflowers.” I turned to Lina and grinned. “And Lina’s are blue forget-me-nots.”
My sister laughed, reaching for my girlfriend’s hand. “Thank you for being here, Lina,” she said. “It means the world to Andy, Nathan, and I that you could be here to celebrate with us, too.”
“Me too,” she said, squeezing Julie’s hand tenderly. She looked up at me, beaming brightly with one of the happiest smiles I’d ever seen her wear. “I’m also happy to be here and be a part of this.”
I couldn’t stop smiling as my chest filled with warmth. My mom came to Lina’s side, along with Kham and his big, broad smile. I greeted him as my mom said something quietly that made Julie, Lina, and her chuckle. Lina glanced at me with warmth in her eyes.
Meanwhile, across from us stood the other set of Hughes. Anthony and Shoua held Nathan, bright-eyed, with Auntie Gao and Uncle Gary at their sides. My cousin and childhood best friend shared an elated grin, happy and delighted. Andy stood proud and laughed gently, kissing Julie’s temple.
I looked outside the window to find the sun shining bright and happy—that was how I knew my dad was beaming down on us. I looked back at my family and Lina. She smiled as she approached me, leaving my mom and Kham by Julie’s bedside.
I took her hand and smiled so wide the apples of my cheeks hurt. We stood side by side and watched, enjoying the calmness of everyone’s soft voices and laughs.
I looked at Lina as she turned to me, both of us smiling. Through the good, the bad, and the moments in between, I knew we’d get through it all. Together.
The End