Chapter 38 A Pretty Dress Smile
A PRETTY DRESS + SMILE
Ember
“Ember, where the fuck do you think you’re going? We’re having a conversation,” Mom shouted.
“No, you’re having a conversation. I’m an unwilling participant.
I’m going to Grandpa’s.” I had no energy for this with her right now.
I had SATs this weekend, and I needed to study.
None of which was happening because my brothers were out in the garage fixing their dirt bikes with the music blaring through the entire house.
“No, you aren’t. We are talking. Your father will be home this weekend, and I expect you to be on your best behavior.” I rolled my eyes, unable to hold back how ridiculous she sounded.
“Oh, let me guess, his newest Ponzi scheme didn’t work out, so he’s home to leech more money out of us? Sure hope his dick is good enough for all this drama.”
Lori Dunagan was a hard woman to shock, but sometimes I got her—like right now. As if at almost seventeen years old, I had no concept of sex or that my sperm donor was a piece of human garbage.
I’d spent years trying to capture that man’s love, but the only love he had in his heart was for himself. I didn’t want to compete anymore, nor would I.
“I have my SATs on Saturday morning. I’ll do my best to be home with a pretty dress and smile, waiting for my wonderful father, okay?
” I said, trying to tone down the condescending edge in my voice.
It wasn’t totally my mother’s fault she was wrapped around his finger so tight.
Grandpa said that my father could sell a blind man a pair of eyeglasses.
He was just a sweet talker, and sadly, he chose to use his powers for evil.
He’d disappear for weeks, sometimes months, sending Mom money when she could get a hold of him, but that was it. For all we knew, he had some other family out there he was fucking around with too.
“I don’t even know why you’re bothering with them. We aren’t paying for college, Ember.”
“I didn’t ask you to. I’ll see you later,” I muttered as I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked out the front door.
Jumping on my bike, I started peddling to my Grandpa’s house. It was a few miles, but that was good. Gave me time to think and calm myself.
I wanted to open a bakery—sell some of my Grandma’s old recipes and more of mine.
Serve fancy coffee and yummy pastries that made people feel good, but I knew I’d be a better bet if I went to college, had my business degree, and took some extra culinary classes.
That meant I had to go to school in the city, which meant more money.
Money I didn’t have, but scholarships? Those I could apply for. So that was my goal. Apply for anything I even sort of qualified for and make it happen.
When I pulled up to my Grandpa’s house, he smiled at me from the front porch. “Thought you were studying today.”
“Evan and Elliot have Disturbed cranked so loud in the garage, I’m shocked you couldn’t hear it from here. Can I use the kitchen table?” I asked with a ridiculous puppy dog pout look on my face.
He chuckled. “Of course, doll. Go on in.”
I kissed his cheek on my way in and let out a sigh of relief. I was home.
My brain felt like a pile of scrambled eggs, and I wanted to scream, but instead, my eyes focused on the single stream of sunlight coming into the room. It was bright as fuck, and my internal clock was telling me it was late in the day. I needed to get up.
The dream I’d had—the memory—had me on edge.
I hadn’t thought about that day in a million years.
I’d lost count over the years of the times I’d used Grandpa’s house as a refuge.
He was the only one who ever knew about my dream with the bakery, the only one I trusted to really support me in the dream.
Stretching my arm out, the other side of the bed was cold. I wasn’t sure how to fully grasp the fact that I was bothered that he wasn’t next to me, but I could hear him, so he wasn’t far.
“I understand that, I do. I just don’t give a shit, detective.” His words sounded far away, and I wanted to crawl out of bed and wrap my arms around him, but I also didn’t want to interrupt his phone call.
“I sent you everything we captured on the cameras, so why the fuck do you need her there to interview? You have his face there in a clear 4k video, along with us sleeping. What else do you need from us?” he demanded.
Pushing myself up, I watched him pace up and down the hallway.
His tall frame moved in and out of view as he passed the doorway.
The door was just cracked a few inches open, and CC was on the edge of the bed watching me, his bright orange eyes telling me that he indeed did open the door, and it was time for me to wake up and love him.
He paced over towards me, plopping down beside me and rolling onto his back, his little white paws in the air as he stared at me.
“Good morning to you too,” I whispered as I rubbed his head and behind his ears.
Wyatt sighed. “Can we go upstairs at all? Have the inspectors been there?” He sounded exhausted, and I started wondering just how much sleep he didn’t get last night. Glancing over, I tapped my phone, but it didn’t respond. I hadn’t plugged the stupid thing up, and now it was dead.
“Lovely,” I muttered to myself. Picking it up, I reached over to Wyatt’s side and used his charger to plug mine up.
“Yeah, I got it. I’ll be there soon.” I leaned against the headboard and listened as he sighed and slowly pushed the door open, clearly still expecting me to be asleep.
Our eyes locked, and he licked his lips nervously. “How much of that did you hear?”
I shrugged. “Not much.”
He walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at me, the unease clear in his eyes.
“Talk to me, Wyatt. I’m not going to break in a million pieces.”
He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving my face. Afraid he’d miss some sort of reaction if I had to guess.
“How are you feeling?”
I rolled my eyes as CC crawled into my lap and rubbed his head against my hand, asking for pets. I obliged him, if only to have something mindless to do with my hands.
“I don’t know. Numb? I don’t think it’s really hit yet, but I’m sure it will when I go home.” I shrugged, unsure of how else to put my words into vocal thoughts. “You said you had video? Can I—”
He shook his head, cutting me off. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ember.”
My teeth grinding together, I stared at him. “I’m not a child, Wyatt. I’ll just check the feed myself if you don’t want to show me. It’s my goddamn building and I have the right to know who and what happened to my business. My home.”
His eyes finally broke from mine, dropping to the floor, and I could tell he was clenching and unclenching his fist. I used to think that was his way of calming down when he was angry—but I’d started to realize it wasn’t that at all.
It was his way of managing feelings when he couldn’t control everything.
He wasn’t angry; he just didn’t like the feeling of the world spinning without him and his direct command of go.
I didn’t know why I was lashing out at him. I knew who was responsible for this—he’d told me as much the last time he’d walked into the bakery. I knew who to blame, but it didn’t stop my brain from going a million miles an hour while trying to sort through the feelings.
“When do we need to leave?” I asked when he clearly wasn’t going to respond to me again.
“I told him we’d be there in about an hour,” Wyatt said calmly.
I nodded. “Good. I’m going to shower, and no. I don’t want company.”
He glared at the floor, and I climbed off the opposite side of the bed. I knew I was being a brat, but I also knew he had no right to control every aspect of my life, even if he wanted to. I was a grown adult, and that didn’t change just because we had some great sex and he said he loved me.
Time felt like it slowed as I showered and dressed. I didn’t have a ton of clothes here, but I did have a pair of jeans and a closet full of Wyatt’s clothes. Shoes, on the other hand, were a different story.
I’d started making a mental list as I stood in the shower, trying to wash more of the negative energy from my skin.
However, now, standing in the middle of Wyatt’s closet as I pulled on a black t-shirt and tucked the front into my jeans, all I could think about was what I would be walking into this afternoon.
Running my fingers through my hair, I stared at myself in the floor-length mirror he had on the back of his closet door.
“I can do this,” I whispered to myself. “I’ve done hard shit my entire life, and that hasn’t changed so far.”
Wyatt had talked to the detective, and I’d called the insurance company to file a claim. They said they’d need the police report, of course, so it was honestly good to just go over and talk to them now. Get it done and get my bakery appraisal done and back to work.
I’d texted Jade and told her I’d keep her in the loop on the schedule for fixing things. I had a good chunk of money saved and tucked away. I’d put out a post on social media that we were okay and we’d be back up and running in no time.
See? I could handle this.
I walked out of the closet, and when my bare feet sank into the rug around Wyatt’s bed, a sinking feeling hit my gut. Picking up my phone and dialing the first number that came to mind, I let out a slow, deep breath.
I wasn’t going to cry over this—it wasn’t that serious.
“Ember?!” Aspen cried into the phone. “Oh my gosh are you okay? Wyatt sent out a family group text letting us know you both were okay and at his place with CC, but Ivy and I didn’t want to just show up and intrude. Are you okay? Can I do anything? What do you need?”
She was walking a million miles a minute, and as I sank to the floor beside the bed, I let out another long breath.
“Aspen? Do you think I could borrow a pair of shoes?” I was so thankful to know that we wore the same size right now. “Anything will do.”
She was quiet for a moment before responding, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “Of course you can, Ember. I’ll bring some over. I’ll see you in three minutes!”
With that, she hung up, and I stared at the wall for the next three minutes. Some may have called it dissociating, but I was just sorting through thoughts in a way that seemed a bit unnatural. Nothing dissociative about this.
A gentle knock sounded on the door, and I looked up to find Wyatt staring at me, his eyes still full of concern I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“Aspen is here with a box of shoes?”
I nodded. “Send her on in.”
Wyatt pushed the door open and stepped back. I watched as a discombobulated Aspen walked into the room, a box in hand and a small smile on her face.
“I brought options.”
I tapped the floor next to me, and she set the box down in front of me and plopped down on the floor next to me.
“Do you need a hug?” she asked, her voice close to a whisper.
Shaking my head, I let out a breath. “Although I may try to get your help on fixing up the store. I’ll reward you in pastries for life.”
Aspen smiled and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “I needed a hug, and you’ve got it. Let me know what shoes you want. Like I said, options.”
We started rummaging through the box, and ten minutes later, I had a pair of black Nike Air Max’s on, and I was ready to go see how destroyed my life’s work was.
I stood in the middle of what used to be my seating area. Now it was charred ash. Small remnants of things that used to be whole remained, kicked aside to make pathways around. Apparently the firefighters had to ensure all the flames and embers and shit were put out—or something of that nature.
The detective explained it when we’d first arrived, but as I looked around at the years of hard work and all the money my grandfather had to die to hand me to make this happen, I sort of stopped caring about what he was saying to us.
I knew Wyatt was listening, and that made one of us, which was better than none.
I ignored them as they talked, the detective and some man from the fire house explaining the path the accelerant took and other shit I couldn’t understand as I walked.
I found myself upstairs in the middle of the living room. I stared down at the floor where Wyatt had had me on my knees not that long ago. Right? It wasn’t that long ago I was there, but it felt like so long ago.
The upstairs wasn’t burnt to bits, which was good, I guess. It was, however, flooded. Most of the water had leaked downstairs already, so only a few puddles remained. Along with my soaked bed, furniture, whatever.
I jumped as a hand landed on my shoulder.
“Ember?” Wyatt whispered. “What are you doing up here?”
I shrugged. “I just wanted to see what was left, if anything. I don’t know, Wyatt. Just…I don’t know.” I shook my head before finally looking over at him. He looked like he was chomping at the bit to just do something to make this better for me. “Can we go out tonight?”
His eyes widened for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, where did you have in mind?”
My eyes scanned the space again, and I realized exactly where I wanted to be. The one place I could show up and just let go, exist, empty my mind, and enjoy the pleasure of feeling something that wasn’t this empty ache in my chest. “The club.”