28. The Past
The Past
TJ
“I needto tell you some things, so let me get it all out. Don’t interrupt me. Got it?”
I keep my eyes trained on the hospital floor and nod. It’s hard seeing Reggie like this. Once a strong giant, he’s now reduced to a frail man hooked up to machines. It doesn’t seem fair.
Life’s not fair,Reggie would say. He’s accepted his fate. He’s at peace with it. I’m not there yet.
“I know you’re angry. I know life hasn’t been easy for you. But I don’t want you to dwell on those things. You didn’t deserve any of what happened in your life. You’ve overcome so much. Focus on that. Focus on what’s ahead of you. I know you think you won’t be able to continue moving forward without me, but you can and you will. I know it. That’s why I’m leaving my gym to you.”
My head jerks up. “What?”
“You heard me. Don’t fuck this up and let it go to shit just to spite me. I’ll haunt your ass. Don’t think I won’t. Nobody wants a scary black man jumping out at them in the middle of the night.”
He rasps out a laugh, but I can’t find the humor in this.
“You’ve shadowed me for long enough. You know how to run things. My clients are now your clients. Help them. They need you. And you need them. You can learn a lot from helping others.
“I’m also leaving you some money. My lawyer will be in contact with you. Buy yourself a house. Meet a girl. Make a family. You can have it all. Don’t be afraid to go for it.”
Tears well in both our eyes, but I fight to hold mine back.
“You gave me a second chance at being a father. Thank you for that. I couldn’t be prouder of your recovery. The fight you have inside you is your best asset. You’ve fought against the odds. You can achieve anything as long as you tell yourself you can. Believe it, TJ. Believe in yourself.”
Reggie reaches for my hand, and when I cover his with mine, my tears make their descent down my face.
“I’ll be looking down on you, so make me proud. You hear me?”
I swallow past the lump lodged in my throat and say, “Yes.”
“I love you, son. Don’t you ever forget that.”
“I love you too, Reg. Thank you for saving me.”
“Ah, I just helped you. You saved yourself.”
I hold his hand as he closes his eyes, and I watch his chest rise and fall for the last time.
“Got any other tattoos?”
I shake my head. “Nope. This is my first.”
“Mind if I ask what it means?”
“Just lost my good friend. He’s looking down on me now, and I need that reminder.”
“I’m sorry, man. That’s rough.”
I swallow the emotion and change the subject. “I thought this would hurt more.”
John chuckles. He wipes my shoulder and the needle returns to my skin. “The shoulder is an easy spot. Collar bone and ribcage are pretty painful.”
“I kinda like the pain.”
“Some of us do.”
“This is the first time I’ve had a needle pierce my skin for a good reason.”
“Heroin?”
I nod.
“I was addicted to painkillers for three years. Addiction’s a bitch.”
“This might be my new addiction.”
“It’s not a bad one to have, my man. But you’ll eventually run out of skin. Then what?”
“Guess I’ll have to leave some space open for emergencies.”
When John’s done, I admire the finished product in the mirror. Reggie’s face surrounded by clouds on my shoulder, casting rays of sunlight down my arm.
It’s the first of many, and I make my next appointment before I leave.
I miss you, Reggie. And I’m going to make you proud.