31. The Present
The Present
Carla
“Haveyou seen TJ at all this week?”
I shake my head and cast a longing look in the direction of the room TJ’s locked inside.
It’s the room we taught Kimmie how to dance in just last week. Sadness pricks my heart. “He’s been in there.”
Tanner’s eyebrows collapse. “Any clue what he’s doing inside?”
“No. He comes out to train a client, and then he goes right back in.”
He glances at the watch on his wrist. “All right. Keep me posted. I’m worried about him.”
I nod. “Me too.”
Tanner gestures to the overflowing box by the door on his way out. “Great idea with the donation box, by the way.”
I muster a smile and say, “Thanks. Tell Charlotte I’ll call her later.”
It’s been a tough week. We said goodbye to a sweet, innocent girl as she was lowered into the ground. To say TJ’s taking Kimmie’s death poorly would be an understatement. He has been keeping to himself, more than usual. Working on a project was all he’d said to me.
I don’t know much about how an addict falls off the wagon, but I’m worried about him.
At the end of every shift, I tap my knuckles against the locked door. I call for him and wait. Then I head home.
Tonight is no different. After knocking and staring at the closed door for several minutes, I walk back to the front desk and collect my things. I’m about to leave when the door cracks open. TJ slips through and closes it behind him.
He doesn’t notice me until he gets closer. He stops mid-stride, head down, attention trained on the ground.
“Hey.” I survey his appearance. Wrinkled shirt, shorts smudged with paint, baseball cap pulled low over his eyes.
“Thought you left.”
“Just about to. Need any help in there?” I twist a strand of hair around my finger. “Maybe some company?”
“Thanks, but I’m all finished for the night.”
“Want to grab dinner? I’m itching for a slice of pizza.”
“Not tonight.”
“Come on. You need to eat.” I nudge him with my elbow, a feeble attempt at playfulness. “Gotta keep feeding those muscles.”
“Not tonight.”
He shuffles past me and that’s when I notice. A gasp leaves my lips as I grip onto his forearm. “Oh my God. TJ, your face.”
He pulls his hat down further, turning his face away. “It’s nothing.”
I stretch onto my toes to get a better look, clutching his face in my hands. His left eyelid, almost completely swollen shut, is a deep purple. There’s more bruising along his jaw and a gash on his top lip.
“What happened to you? Who did this?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He backs away and my hands fall to my sides.
“I do worry. I’m worried about you.”
“Why, because I’m an addict? You assume I’ll resort to using just because someone died?”
His harsh tone stuns me. “No. I’m sorry. That’s not … that’s not what I meant. I just—”
“Save it.” His office door slams shut, the click of the lock like a shot to my sternum.
As if therollercoaster of emotions I’m on this week isn’t enough, Joe’s texts come in more frequently.
Joe: Please answer me.
Joe: How’s New York?
Joe: When are you coming back?
Joe: I miss you.
Joe: Do you miss me?
Joe: I ended things with Brianna.
Joe: Let’s talk. Don’t throw everything away.
I tossmy phone onto the couch cushion beside me. “That last one kills me. As if I’m the one who walked away from what we had. Does he actually believe that? Or is he trying to get a reaction out of me?”
“You should block his ass,” Mallory says.
“Or talk to him,” Charlotte chimes in. “Closure will help you move on.”
“The idea of rehashing everything he put me through …” I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do that.”
“Plus, he’ll just feed you more excuses.” Mallory rolls her eyes as she crams a handful of Doritos into her mouth. “He doesn’t deserve to explain himself.”
I can tell Charlotte disagrees. She always looks down at her lap and tucks her hair behind her ear when she stops herself from saying what she’s thinking.
I sigh, flopping back onto the couch. “Honestly, I don’t even care about Joe right now. I’m too worried about TJ to think about much else.”
“He’s still not talking to you?” Mallory asks.
“No, but trust me—the slamming door speaks volumes.”
“He’s just going through a hard time,” Charlotte says. “He knew Kimmie for a while. He was her sponsor. That’s gotta feel awful.”
“I know. I just wish he’d let me in. Help him.”
Mallory stands, brushing orange crumbs onto the rug. She pauses and looks at me. “I’ll vacuum later, I swear.”
I laugh and shake my head, knowing I’ll get to it before she does.
“Why don’t we stop sitting around and wasting time talking about stupid boys? Let’s go do something.”
Charlotte holds her hand up. “I don’t want to go to a bar.”
“So we won’t. Let’s do something different.”
Plan B pops into my mind and a light flicks on. TJ took me sky diving. If it weren’t for him, I probably wouldn’t have gone through with it. Why am I sitting around waiting for someone to help me complete my list? I don’t need help living my life. This is my life. And I’m wasting it on this couch.
All a girl really needs are her friends, and I’ve got ‘em right here.
“Let’s get tattoos.”
Mallory’s screech sounds through the apartment. “Yes! That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about, roomie! Let’s do it!”
“Since when do you want to get a tattoo?” Charlotte asks.
I hike a shoulder. “Since now. I’m trying to live in the moment, remember?”
A frown tugs at her lips. “Can’t we live in the moment without needles burning into our skin? We can watch a movie.”
Mallory yanks Charlotte’s arm until she’s standing. “You can watch us live in the moment. It’ll be just like you’re watching a movie.”
She sighs. “Tanner got his tattoo done by TJ’s friend. At least go to someone who we know is good.”
I stand and nod, excitement surging through me. “Let’s do this.”
The excitement soon wears off and is replaced by nerves once we’re in Mallory’s car.
Why did I suggest this? What was I thinking?
More importantly, how bad is this going to hurt?
Charlotte swivels in the passenger seat to face me. “Your mom is going to kill you, you know.”
“You’re like the fish from The Cat in the Hat,” Mallory says.
Charlotte shoots her a glare, which only looks adorable on her sweet face. “And that’s a bad thing? He knew it was wrong for those kids to let a giant cat stranger into the house.”
“Come on, Char,” Mallory whines. “Don’t suck the fun out of this. People get tattoos all the time. Plus, this is way better than staying home and listening to that one cry about her boy problems.”
I make eye-contact with her in the rear-view mirror. “Hey!”
Her eyes roll before flicking back to the road. “Wahh, my hot ex won’t stop texting me. Wahh, my boss is ridiculously sexy.”
“Okay, first of all—I don’t sound like that. Secondly … well … I don’t have a second thing, but the first one still stands.”
“I’m just saying … you’ve got two dudes vying for your attention. Share the wealth, homie.”
“You want Joe? Be my guest.”
Charlotte and Mallory exchange glances.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just funny how you offered Joe over TJ.” Charlotte throws a wink over her shoulder.
“I was just trying to make a point. Joe isn’t some amazing guy trying to woo me. He’s a jerk who left me high and dry.”
“And TJ?” Mallory asks. “What’s he?”
I gaze out the window as we come to a stop in front of the tattoo shop. “Good question,” I mutter.
“What was that? Couldn’t hear you.”
“I said he’s my boss. Now let’s go before I change my mind.”