25. AVERY
AVERY
The first sign that something is seriously wrong is Rhett’s silence. His normally free smiles are tense, and the light that shines back at me in every look we share is muted. Everything I love about him is strained; the only exception is his affection for Iris. That only makes me love him more.
I’m beginning to understand why it’s called falling in love.
It’s a continuous free fall. Every second of every day, my heart fills a little more with admiration, affection, and respect for him.
If I’m honest, it’s not my heart anymore.
For the first time in my life, it doesn’t feel stolen or taken from me, I’ve given it to him.
It doesn’t matter what happens, I don’t ever want it back.
“Night, Doc,” I hear her whisper as he finishes reading one of her favorite Dr. Seuss books.
I’ve been standing out in the hall listening for the last few minutes, unable to move for fear of missing one of their sweet moments.
“Good night, champ.”
As his footsteps grow closer to where I’m standing, Iris tells him, “I love you.”
Trust her to be able to do the one thing I still haven’t had the courage to do.
“I love you more,” he replies without a second thought.
“More than the last bite of cake.”
“More than the last crumb of pie.”
I have no idea what they’re talking about, but it makes me tear up. Iris doesn’t dish out I-love-yous freely. For her to tell him so, it means she’s let him in too. My little girl has given someone her heart. Even after everything that’s happened, she’s found another person to trust.
All of a sudden, today’s silence becomes painful to bear.
I’m asking myself if maybe he’s realized that being with me is too much of a burden.
He hasn’t said much on the break-in at his house, and it makes me wonder whether he blames me.
What if it is my fault? It can’t be coincidence that it’s all happening when Carl and the FBI show up.
Before he finds me, I head into my bedroom, leaving my door ajar so he knows that I’m not locking him out. I want him. Scrap that, I need him. I need Rhett to hold me and tell me that he still wants me. That I’m not more trouble than I’m worth.
I’m standing in front of the bathroom mirror, cleaning my face in between my uncontrollable sobs, when he walks in with the pillows from his room in tow. Throwing them on the bed, he comes straight for me. I’m nowhere near ready for the force of his hold or the ferocity of his kiss.
Gasping for breath when Rhett pulls back, all my anxiety pours from me. I’m expecting him to ask me what’s wrong or coax me to talk, but instead, he unbuttons the top of my dress before pulling it off me, leaving me in my underwear as he strips off his own clothes.
“Come here.” He nods me over to him as he backs up to the bath and swills the milky water around with his hand before reaching for me.
“You poured me a bath.” I was so lost in my head that I didn’t realize, and now my heart is in a catastrophic state of about to break, melt, and pound itself into a frenzy.
I’ve never felt so alive as I do with him.
All the things he makes me feel are breathtaking, gut-wrenching, and awing.
I love him so much, and I’m so desperate to tell him.
As I open my mouth, he brushes my lips with his thumb.
The tip skimming my tongue elicits a sharp inhale from me at the taste of his warm skin.
I’m in a trance while he turns me away from him, stroking his hands over my shoulders to my nape where he scoops my hair, twisting it in one fist before he rids me of my bra with his other hand.
Afterward, Rhett pushes my panties down my thighs between kisses to my nape and soft, teasing nips to my shoulders.
Breathless, I can’t vocalize any of the feelings coursing through me. I want him inside me, and I never want him to leave me empty again.
“Doc…” My rasping moan echoes around us as he lifts me into his arms and slowly steps into the bath. Lowering into the water, he sits me between his thighs.
Hum after hum sigh from me as his hands massage over my stomach, up between my breasts to stroke across my collarbone, my neck and jaw.
The only sounds are our ragged breaths and the lapping of the water while our legs tangle and Rhett’s hands roam over my body.
“I thought…” I pull a deep breath into my lungs as his arms wrap tightly around me, a prison I never want to be set free from. Tipping my head back, I cup his handsome face, angling it to mine so I can look into his eyes. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I am mad, sweetheart. I’m angry at what you’re going through.
That I can’t fix everything the way I want to for you.
I am not mad at you. Even if you think that you’re to blame for something, I have nothing but love for you, Avery.
” Kissing my nose lightly, Rhett cups my face to his chest with one hand while tightening his hold on me with the arm around my waist. “That will never change. No matter what. Whether we’re mad, hurting, or living the best life.
Whether we’re up high or down as low as life can go.
I’m going to love you, and it will only grow with every day. ”
“Every second I love you so much more.”
“More than your last smudge of frosting?” He smiles, thumb stroking over my cheek.
“More than my heart can bear. So much so that it’s impossible to contain.”
The smile on his face broadens as he lowers to kiss me chastely. “Nothing will ever change that, and I won’t let anything come between us. Not anger. Not sadness or hurt. Not fault or guilt.”
“Because I’m yours?”
“No, sweetheart, because I’m yours. You had me the instant you looked at me, and then you spoke and your voice is the only sound echoing in my ears since.”
What can I possibly say to that? There’s nothing I can say to tell him all that he means to me. No words could reiterate the depth of my longing for him.
Instead, I hold on to him tight while I press my lips to his, slowly savoring the warmth of his breaths and taste of everything I’ve ever wanted as I turn in his arms, straddling his muscular thighs.
“I’m giving you everything, Rhett, and I’m letting you love me no matter what. I’m giving you my soul. It’s the only thing I’ve never parted with.”
Trailing a hand down his chest to his erection, I guide him inside me, holding his darkening stare as I lower myself over him.
The stretching ache as he fills me is agonizing, ebbing through me until my fingers tangle in his hair and claw at his flesh and every muscle pulses to pull him deeper, needing more and more of him.
“You’re the only one that has and will ever possess my soul. No matter what, Doc.”
The air pushes out of my lungs in a hiss as he flexes deeper, curling his arms around my shoulders to pin me to him as he takes my mouth in a scorching kiss.
Wordlessly, he loves me relentlessly, giving me every part of himself as surely as I’ve given him me, and he doesn’t stop until we’re both boneless and spent.
“Don’t leave me,” I murmur into his chest as we lie in my bed after our bath, my fingers tracing over the lightest golden smattering of hair.
“Never.” He clasps my hand in his as he holds it tight to his chest.
“I meant this bed. Tonight.”
“I meant never.” As if to reaffirm his words, the arm wrapped around me coils a little more, pulling me half on top of him. “This bed and your side. Tonight, tomorrow night, every day and night after.”
Listening to his steady heartbeat, I’m half lulled to sleep when he whispers into my hair, “You are my soul, sweetheart.”
It takes a little over three weeks for the court to issue an emergency protective order to ensure Carl doesn’t come near me or Iris.
Although I’m still hyperaware of all the unfinished business, it does mean that the court is more likely to schedule a divorce and custody hearing sooner. It also tips the scale in my favor.
“You doing okay?” I ask Jo as she holds on to my arm.
We’re spending the day on Duke’s boat, where Rhett and I had our date, and although Rhett offered to carry her down to the shore, she insisted on doing it all herself. Of course.
“I’m fine going down. It’ll be the coming up that will be worse.”
“Maybe we should move the boat to the marina, that way it’ll make access easier.”
Rhett turns to look at her with Iris on his shoulders, and I can’t help but smile at the way they look so content. I still can’t believe that this is our life now.
“No,” Jo tells him sharply. “This is where The Hope has always been, and it’s where it will stay until I’m gone. It’s where he would want her to be, in our small cove.”
“Wait, you own this?” Gesturing around me at the small rocky beach, I take a moment to process her words as Rhett nods in reply before walking ahead of us again.
“Duke loved the ocean, and this was his happy place. It’s secluded and hidden away enough that it was a break from everyday life.
” The longing etched on her face as she takes a long pull of the briny air makes my heart melt.
“It’s where we scattered his ashes, and when I go, it’s where I want to be too. ”
Something about the way she says that makes my stomach knot. It’s as though she expects it to be someday very soon. Then she pats my hand in that way that tells me she’s trying to pacify me somehow.
“You still have a lot of life left in you,” I say as Rhett helps her onto the boat.
“I keep telling her that, but of course, she won’t listen,” he retorts, taking my hand and tugging me into him.
Without a second thought, my arms wrap around him, and I roll up onto the tips of my toes to kiss him.
He doesn’t hesitate to kiss me back, peppering my lips until I’m giggling like a schoolgirl, and although it’s not a super-sunny or warm day, it feels a thousand time brighter than the peak of summer.
“You know, last time we were here you kissed me too. I’m beginning to think we should come here every damn day. Rain or shine.”
“I kiss you every damn day.” My chuckle is muffled by his soft, relentless kisses as I keep my eye screwed shut to luxuriate on the feel of his skin on mine.
“Hmm…”
“I do!” Pulling back to look at him, I find him watching me. Something he does a lot—watch me as we kiss. “I kiss you every chance I get, Dr. Reynolds.”
“Well, I want more.”
God, I can’t get enough of the way he looks at me and how my heart fills with so much joy and hope that it could burst. I can’t get enough of him in any way. The more time we spend together, the more I want. The more I feel. The more I love in ways that I never knew were possible.
“More of what?” Teasing, I start for the front of the boat where Jo is sitting with Iris on the deck with their legs dangling over the edge.
Before I make it any farther than a few steps, he tugs me back to him by my elbow, making me spin before he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me flush to him again. With a serious look, he searches my face while my heart thrums in overdrive.
Thump, thump, thump.
Booming in my chest until the lull of the waves is drowned out by its echoes in my ears.
Thump, thump, thump.
He’s all I see. Relucent green eyes beaming nothing but love and affection.
Unmeasurable happiness that radiates through me until my toes curl in my sandals.
That one stubborn, golden lock falls in front of his eyes, and when I brush it back, he captures my hand, lacing his fingers with mine as he hums a soft tune that I know is completely made up because it’s too beautiful to already exist. It’s solely ours, like this place was solely Jo’s and Duke’s.
Just as he is all mine and I am entirely and irrevocably his.
Holding me to him, Rhett sways me around, never relenting his hold on me. Not for a single second. Not the shortest breath. His arm coils tighter around my waist as we come to a slow stop, and he says, “Everything.”
“Everything?” I’m momentarily baffled by his remark and completely dazzled by him.
“I want more of everything with you.”
“Everything,” I murmur in reply, ghosting the tip of my nose over the sharp line of his jaw and sighing at the feel of his short stubble barely scratching over my skin.
“But for now, I’ll settle for all your kisses and smiles.” Lowering to kiss me, he adds, “All your heart and soul.”
“What else is there?”
“Everything,” Rhett whispers into my mouth, followed by another couple of mumbles that I can’t make out, but my skin breaks out in gooseflesh at the taste of them. “Everything,” he repeats, nipping my lip subtly as he tickles my side.
That’s my one weak spot, and since he found it a couple of weeks ago, he keeps going for it until I’m laughing so hard it hurts.
“Stop,” I choke on a gasp for air as he continues. “Everything.”
Rhett doesn’t stop until I’m limp in his arms, and he hoists me up his body, carrying me to the front of the boat where we sit enjoying the last of the summer sun and the cool breeze.
And while I rest my head on his shoulder, pulling Iris onto my lap for a cuddle, he keeps humming away with his arm around my shoulder and his fingers combing through Iris’s hair.
This is so much more than I ever imagined we would have. This right here. This moment is everything I’ve ever wanted, and yet, I know there’s more that I never dreamed of.