Chapter Twenty-Five
The weeks following Christopher’s announcement of Dustin’s pregnancy brought happy mentions from friends and allies alike.
David in particular seemed thrilled with the news.
But the one person in Christopher’s inner circle, however, who seemed to be increasingly distant from the mother-to-be was Marcus.
Dustin noticed, of course, every hour of every day.
She had hoped he would come around, or at least tell her what was bothering him, but he had made no such attempt.
As the days passed, so did her sense of concern.
Finally, she’d had enough. His aloofness was beginning to wear on her and she was determined to know what his issue was.
One day when he had come to discuss a few matters with Christopher, she slipped out and followed him from her apartments, cornering him in a deserted hall as he was heading for the narrow servant’s staircase at the end of the corridor.
“I would know what is troubling you, Marcus,” she demanded softly.
He studied her coolly, his cobalt-blue eyes glittering in the torchlight. She was dressed in a heavy woolen surcoat, a bit too long due to her expanding waistline, and her gray eyes stared back at him with concern.
“I do not know what you mean,” he replied.
“Do not insult my intelligence,” she snapped. “You have been sulking around here for weeks now and I want to know why. Have I said something to offend you? Has Chris?”
His hard stance softened a bit. “No, Dustin, no one has offended me. There is nothing the matter, truly.”
She sighed with frustration. “Marcus, I thought you were my friend. You have always been excessively kind and sweet and attentive, but lately it’s as if I do not know you at all. You are not the same man I have come to know and love.”
He blinked at her. “Love?”
She flipped her hand in a careless gesture. “Yes, of course, as my friend. Won’t you please tell me what is bothering you? I do not like seeing you like this.”
He could see she was genuinely concerned and felt his guard go down. For her, and only her, would it go down.
“Truly, Dustin, there’s nothing wrong, at least nothing that can be solved,” he said softly.
“What is it?” she begged softly. “Will you please tell me?”
She moved towards him as he shook his head.
God, he had been fighting his feelings for her ever since he met her and when he found out she was with child, it was as if a white-hot blade had been thrust through his heart.
It had only gotten worse with time. The happier Dustin and Christopher were, the more distressed he became.
He knew his attitude had reflected his feelings, but he simply could not help himself.
He loved her and probably always would, and would have given twenty years of his life if the child in her womb could have been his.
He put his big hands on her arms in a reassuring gesture. “There is nothing to tell, Lady de Lohr. But I appreciate your concern.”
Dustin touched his hand, the hand that was slowly coming back to strength.
“I am not as naive as you think, Marcus. I know a great deal, or at least I sense it.” She pulled his hand off her arm and held it between them.
“This is a good example, I know you injured your own hand, although I do not know why, but I suspect I had something to do with it. You lied to me.”
His black brows drew together. “When? I would never lie to you.”
She smiled faintly. “You are right now,” she murmured. “You told me that your infatuation would pass. It hasn’t, has it? And now you are angry with me because of it.”
He gripped her hand in his healing one. “I am not angry with you, Dustin.” He felt his composure slipping.
It was a dark, quiet, lonely hall, who would hear his words except her?
It was suddenly as if he had to confess and get all of the bleak feelings out of his soul.
Mayhap if she knew the truth, if he could put his emotions into words, then he could gain much needed relief.
As he struggled to say something, she spoke softly.
“Then tell me what is bothering you, Marcus,” she said quietly. “Let me help.”
The statement struck him as sad and ironic. He gave her a wry smile and released her hand.
“You cannot, unless you are planning to leave Chris and marry me,” he said. “I apologize for my actions for I never meant to upset you or infer that I was angry. It’s…it is sometimes difficult for me to realize that I have fallen in love with my liege’s wife, as horrific as it is.”
Her face went slack. “You have fallen in love with me?” she gasped. “Marcus, how could you? You know I can never… Marcus, I love Christopher.”
His face hardened. “I know you do and I know he would probably kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but tell you I must for my own sanity.” He was growing agitated.
“Call me mad if you will, but I cannot help what I feel. I kissed you once, Dustin, and I haven’t kissed another woman since. I do not know if I ever will.”
Dustin felt as if the entire weight of the world had just been laid on her shoulders. She stepped back from him, denial all over her face. “And you blame me? I have done nothing to encourage you.”
“Nothing except what comes naturally, and I cannot blame you for it,” he shot back passionately.
He stopped to compose himself, running his hand over his cropped black hair.
“I am sorry, Dustin. For everything, I am sorry. I have tried to put you away in my mind, but I have been unsuccessful as of yet. I suppose I need time to suppress my feelings and I apologize if I am distant or cold in the process. But what I feel for you, Dustin…it scares me.”
She gazed back at him, feeling so badly that she was the cause of his distress. “Christopher said the same thing to me, once,” she whispered. “He said I frightened him. Why do I scare the two of you so? I am a simply woman, for God’s sake, not Lucifer in a disguise.”
Marcus let out a strangled chuckle. “You are simply the most remarkable woman either of us has ever met. Unfortunately for me, Christopher was the lucky one. Yet I know that you would have loved me had I met you first, and that is my foremost regret in life,” he sighed and slapped his thigh in defeat.
“Ah, well, there is no use in dwelling over what could have been.”
She looked back at him a moment, studying him, before sighing softly. “I think I could have easily loved you, but I married Christopher and I love him dearly,” she said. “I am sorry to cause your pain, Marcus, I would never hurt you knowingly.”
“I know,” he said with a weak smile. “And I am sorry to have been such a bear. I shall try harder to return to my sweet, charming self.”
She grinned. “Do not fret over it,” she said. “If you are gruff, ’twill give me an excuse to slug you and it will be the most exercise I have had in weeks. Christopher practically talks for me so that I will not strain myself.”
Marcus laughed softly. “He is driving you insane, isn’t he? The child is all he can talk about.”
“I know,” she nodded. “He talks to it every night, puts his mouth right against my belly and tells the babe what he expects of him.”
Marcus could just see Christopher talking to Dustin’s naked belly and he chuckled.
She giggled in return, pleased to see that the “old” Marcus was on the mend.
Without warning, she went over to him and put her arms around him, squeezing him affectionately.
She probably shouldn’t have, but she hated to see him upset.
He responded stiffly, and she stepped back with a bashful grin on her face.
“I am glad you are not angry with me,” she said.
“Never,” he insisted, glancing over his shoulder to the steep stairwell behind him, partially shadowed in the darkness. “Well, I am expected on the field. Go back to your rooms before Christopher sends out a search party.”
He turned for the stairs and was most of the way down the flight when he heard Dustin calling him from above.
He turned to see her standing in the doorway, the light from the corridor behind her silhouetting her figure.
She was saying something he could not quite hear and he asked her to repeat herself.
Confused, she did not hear his response and started to descend the steep, narrow stairs.
Marcus was two or three steps from the bottom, looking up at her and thinking it was not such a good idea for her to be descending the flight.
It was too steep and angled. He took another step toward her and called out to her to return to the top.
Dustin took her eyes off the stairs for a moment because she hadn’t caught his words, and when she did, she inevitably stepped on the long hem of her surcoat.
Marcus saw it coming and there was absolutely nothing he could do to prevent the fall.
He saw her pitch forward, heard his own hoarse shout, and then she was tumbling down, down, down in a mass of wool and hair.
He tried to run to catch her but he was simply too far away and by the time she crashed into him, she had fallen nearly the whole flight of stairs.
Marcus caught Dustin in his arms as she tumbled into him, her body limp with unconsciousness.
Her head was cut and blood was coming from her nose, and Marcus was filled with complete and utter horror.
He tried to force his legs to move, to run up the stairs with her cradled in his arms, but he could not seem to function.
His whole body was shaking, running hot and cold with disbelief and panic.
But move he had to; Dustin’s life depended on it. With a shout of agony, he propelled himself back up the steps and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.
*