Chapter 20 #2
I closed my eyes and let him work, let him take care of me the way I'd taken care of him.
The cloth moved down my neck, across my collarbone, along my arms with patient, methodical care. He cleaned each finger individually, washing away the evidence of what we'd done, what we'd witnessed, what we'd survived.
"You're shaking," he said softly, his voice filled with concern.
"Adrenaline crash." My voice came out steadier than I felt. "It'll pass. It always does."
"I know." He rinsed the cloth and continued, his movements never wavering. "But you don't have to be strong right now. Not with me. You can let go."
The words broke something inside me—some wall I'd been holding up since the moment I'd arrived on this planet.
The tears came then—hot and fast and unstoppable. I pressed my face against Ahrick's chest and let them fall, my body shaking with sobs I'd been holding back for weeks, maybe months, maybe my entire life.
He held me through it, one hand stroking my hair with infinite patience, the other wrapped around my waist like he could hold me together through sheer force of will.
"It's okay," he murmured against my hair, his voice low and soothing. "I've got you. I've got you, and I'm not letting go."
And he did.
He had me.
Completely.
The tears eventually slowed, then stopped, leaving me hollow and exhausted and somehow lighter than I'd felt in months.
I pulled back slightly, wiping at my face with the back of my hand, and found Ahrick watching me with an expression I couldn't quite name. Concern, yes. But also something else. Something that looked almost like awe.
"What?" I asked, my voice rough from crying.
"You," he said simply. "You're incredible."
I laughed—a wet, broken sound that wasn't quite humor. "I just fell apart on you."
"No." His hand came up to cup my face, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. "You let yourself feel what you've been through. That's not falling apart."
We cleaned up properly after that.
Ahrick stripped off his ruined pants and stood at the basin, washing away the blood. I did the same, scrubbing my skin until it was raw and clean and felt like mine again.
The Welati armor went in a pile by the door. My clothes followed—ruined beyond saving.
We were both naked and exhausted and marked by violence in ways that went deeper than skin.
But we were alive.
And we were together.
And somehow, that was enough.
I pulled on one of Ahrick's shirts—too big, hanging to mid-thigh, smelling like him—and he wrapped a loincloth around his waist. Then we sat on the bed, side by side, our shoulders touching, drawing comfort from the simple fact of proximity.
"The comm unit," I said after a long moment of silence. "We should contact Nansar. Let him know we're alive."
Ahrick nodded and stood, moving to the loose floorboard where I'd hidden the device. He pried it up and pulled out the small device, then handed it to me.
My hands were steadier now, the shaking finally starting to subside.
I activated the unit and selected Nansar's frequency.
The connection crackled to life almost immediately, like Nansar had been waiting by his comm.
"Merrilee?" Nansar's voice was sharp with concern. "Are you safe? Is Ahrick with you?"
"We're safe." I glanced at Ahrick, taking in his bandaged shoulder, his exhausted face. "Hewes is dead."
A pause—weighted with surprise and relief. Then: "Confirmed?"
"Persico killed him. Beheaded him in front of us." The words came out flat, emotionless. "There's no coming back from that."
Another pause—longer this time.
"Persico," Nansar said slowly, carefully. "The Kerzak crime lord."
"Who's apparently an Asad intelligence operative." Ahrick said, his voice flat. "Did you know?"
"No." Nansar's tone was honest. Surprised. Maybe even impressed. "But that's what makes them so effective. Nobody ever knows. The best spies are the ones you never suspect."
"He gave us a warning," Ahrick said, his voice dropping in tone. "Told us to tell the Prime that Hewes wasn't her greatest enemy. That there are greater forces moving in the shadows."
"I'll pass that along immediately." Nansar's voice had gone serious. "An Alliance ship is already en route to your location. They'll be there within twelve hours to extract you both."
Relief flooded through me like ice water, shocking and immediate.
Twelve hours.
We just had to survive twelve more hours, and then we could leave this planet behind.
"Thank you," I said quietly, meaning it with every fiber of my being. "For everything. For believing me. For helping us."
"You did the work, Merrilee. You and Ahrick." A pause, weighted with meaning.
Nansar's tone shifted—became something warmer. More personal. His holographic eyes settled on Ahrick. "I hope you know it's time to leave Palaydium, my friend. You've paid enough for crimes that were never truly yours to bear. More than enough."
Ahrick's jaw tightened, muscles jumping beneath his skin.
"I know," he said quietly, the words seeming to cost him something.
"Do you?" Nansar pressed, his voice gentle but firm. "Because you've been punishing yourself for years. And I think it's time you stopped."
"I'm working on it." Ahrick's voice was strained, tight with emotion he was trying to control.
"Work faster." There was a smile in Nansar's voice now, warmth bleeding through the distance. "You've got a mate to take care of now."
Ahrick's eyes found mine, and something passed between us—understanding, maybe. Or recognition.
"Yes," he said, his voice soft but certain. "I do."
"Then get off that rock and start living again." Nansar's voice softened even further. "You deserve it, Ahrick. You deserve to be happy. You've earned it a thousand times over."
The connection cut out, leaving us in silence that felt heavy with possibility.
Ahrick set the comm unit aside carefully and turned to face me fully, his expression serious.
"Merrilee," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "I need to ask you something. Something important."
My heart kicked against my ribs, sudden and sharp.
"Okay."
"Are you sure?" He reached for my hand, his fingers threading through mine.
"Are you sure you want to bind yourself to me?
To an ex-prisoner? To someone who's spent the last ten years on a prison planet trying to atone for things he can never fix?
Someone with blood on his hands and nightmares that won't end? "
I squeezed his hand, feeling the calluses, the scars, the strength.
"More than anything," I said without hesitation.
"You don't understand what you're asking for." His voice was tight with something that might have been fear. "You don't understand what it means."
"Then explain it to me."
He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb tracing patterns on my palm—circles and lines and shapes that had no meaning except comfort.
"The Vaktaire mating bond," he said finally, each word careful and measured, "It's not a choice you can unmake or a contract you can dissolve when things get hard. It's permanent. Absolute. Forever, in every sense of the word."
"I know."
His eyes met mine—fierce and vulnerable and desperate for me to understand what I was committing to.
"When the bond completes, our hearts will synchronize.
They'll beat in perfect rhythm, forever.
Like two drums playing the same song. If one of us dies, the other will feel it.
A Vaktaire knows the exact moment their mate's heart stops beating and more often than not follows them into death. "
Ice ran down my spine, cold and sharp.
"That's—"
"Terrifying," he finished, his voice quiet. "I know. But it's also beautiful. Because it means we'll never be alone. Never be separate. We'll feel each other's emotions, sense each other's presence across any distance, know when the other is in danger or hurt or afraid."
He lifted my hand to his chest, pressing my palm flat against his heart. I felt it beating beneath my hand—strong and steady and alive.
"Can you feel that?" he asked softly.
I could.
His heartbeat—powerful and steady and real beneath my palm.
"Yes."
"When the bond completes, you'll always feel it. No matter how far apart we are. No matter what happens." His voice dropped to a whisper, intimate and raw. "You'll carry a piece of me inside you, and I'll carry a piece of you. We'll be two halves of one whole. Incomplete without each other."
Tears pricked my eyes, hot and immediate.
"That's what I want," I said fiercely, meaning every word.
"Merrilee—"
"I love you." The words came out passionate. Final. Undeniable. "I love you, and I want to be bound to you in every way possible. I want to feel your heartbeat. I want to be yours, completely and forever, in every way that matters."
His breath caught, his entire body going still.
"You're sure."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
He pulled me into his lap, his arms wrapping around me like he could merge us through sheer force of will, his face buried in my hair.
"I love you," he said against my temple, his voice breaking on the words. "I love you so much. So much I don't know what to do with it."
"Good." I tilted my head back to look at him, to meet his eyes.
He laughed—a rough, broken sound that turned into a kiss.
Deep.
Claiming.
Possessive.
His tongue swept into my mouth, demanding and hungry, and I opened to him immediately.
My hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer, my body pressing against his with desperate need.
The towel around his waist fell away, forgotten, and I felt him—hard and thick against my thigh, the heat of him making me gasp into his mouth.
"Ahrick—"
"I need you," he growled against my lips, his hands sliding under my borrowed shirt, palms hot against my skin. "Need to feel you. All of you."
He pulled the shirt over my head in one smooth motion, leaving me bare in his lap. His eyes darkened as he looked at me, pupils dilating until only a thin ring of gold remained.