Chapter 10
LILY
“Do you like living in the country?” Lily asked the question without looking at Christopher.
They were out at the hot springs again today, but this time the sun shone down on her, warming her skin as it kissed her face.
“What kind of question is that?” Christopher’s low, rumbling voice was muffled due to his face being buried in his folded arms.
She peeked down at him then.
He was sprawled out on his stomach, dressed in only his swim shorts. He was fit, but not overly muscular—not like Emerson or some of the other men she’d dated. But that didn’t change the fact she thought he was beautiful. Strong lines and capable hands.
Her gaze slid to the one she could see. It wasn’t as calloused as she would have expected a rancher’s hand to be. He turned his head at that moment and smiled sleepily at her.
“You gonna answer my question?”
Christopher chuckled. “I like living out here. It’s nice. Quiet. What about you?”
She pulled her mouth to the side. “I don’t know. Never had the chance to live anywhere else. I suppose I’m curious what it would be like if I decided to move away and do something else.”
“Like what?”
Lily settled until she was lying on her back beside him. She placed one arm over her eyes to block out the brightness. “I’ve told you all my sisters are named after flowers, right?”
He chuckled, warm and low. “You’ve mentioned a few of them by name, but I never made the connection.”
“Well, there’s Rose. She’s the oldest. Then Jasmine and me.
Then there’s Iris, Violet, and Zinnia.” She turned her head, finding him watching her.
“My mother named us after flowers because she wanted to be a botanist. She loved studying plants. My dad was going to continue the family business as a farmer, but his dad wanted him to go to school for agriculture. That’s how they met. They had a college class together.”
She couldn’t help but smile as she recalled the stories her mother told them.
“Rose went to college. Same as our dad, so she can run the farm one day. But I never did.”
“Why not?”
She sighed. “Times were tough when my turn came around. I didn’t want to be a burden financially on my family.
And I didn’t have any idea what I could do with my life other than helping with the farm.
But I can’t help wondering what might have happened if I had.
Would I have followed in my mom’s footsteps and gone into botany?
Or maybe something to do with the medical field? ”
Christopher lifted his head. “You’re interested in medicine?”
Lily wrinkled her nose. “Not like being a doctor or anything. I think I would want to go into the research side of things and study medicinal plants. Holistic healing, but for animals. That sort of thing.”
His eyes took on a far-off look. “That’s… it’s…” He lifted his gaze to hers. “There aren’t many people who are interested in medicine for the sake of helping others these days. At least, not always. A lot of people get pulled toward the money or the prestige.”
“Yeah, that’s not for me. I like the idea of finding something out in nature that can help not only people, but the animals they love. Something readily available to grow.”
They stared at each other for long moments.
Then she laughed. “Sounds kinda crazy, right? Especially since I haven’t even gone to school for it?”
“I don’t think it’s crazy at all.” His voice had gone quiet in a way that made her listen harder. “You just have to take the first step.”
“With what money?”
He frowned. “Are things really that tight?”
She lifted a shoulder and closed her eyes as she turned her face to the sky once more.
“We’re a big family on a farm. We always have to be worried about how the crops are doing and if we’re going to earn enough to make ends meet during the off-season.
I would never ask my sister to help finance that sort of thing, and I don’t like the idea of going into debt. ”
“But if money wasn’t an issue?”
She laughed. “Money is always an issue.”
“You know there are grants and scholarships for things like this, right? You just have to know where to look.”
That had her turning her head to look at him. “I suppose you’re right.”
Something about the certainty in his voice planted a tiny seed of possibility in her chest. It wasn’t much. Not yet. But it was enough to make her wonder what it would feel like to take that first step. To choose something that belonged to her, not only something that was expected.
Once again, their conversation dwindled, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.
Yesterday, she’d met up with Reese to get some coffee, and the subject had shifted to her new boyfriend. At least, that was what she was calling Christopher.
“My friend wants to meet you,” she blurted.
Then she winced.
She knew better than to ask Christopher to step out of his comfort zone so quickly. She’d told Reese that Christopher was shy and a private person. They would meet eventually, but they wanted to keep things quiet for now.
Reese understood. They’d gone through the same thing when she’d dated him.
“Your friend?” Christopher murmured, an edge to his voice.
She turned to look at him again. “Yeah, my ex.”
He made a face, and she let out a laugh.
“He’s not that bad. And he’d love you.”
Christopher buried his face in his arms again. “Lily…”
A sigh built in her chest.
She’d expected this reaction. She knew he probably wasn’t going to be interested in meeting Reese, even though she’d made it clear that Reese was one of the most important friends she had.
Still, some part of her had hoped that when she brought it up, Christopher would agree to meet at least one of the prominent people in her life.
“I get that he’s my ex and that makes things awkward,” she said carefully. “But I already told you he’s just a friend. He’s probably my best friend. And I want you two to get along.”
“That’s not it,” Christopher grumbled. “I don’t care that he’s your ex. It’s not my place to tell you who you should or shouldn’t be friends with.”
“Then what is it?” She lifted herself up on her elbow and pinned him with a hard stare. “Why won’t you meet anyone in my life? Every time we get together, it’s alone. We don’t interact with anyone from town—”
He sat up and dragged both hands down his face, then met her eyes.
“I told you. I’m a private person. I prefer getting to know you on a deeper level before worrying about whether my friends or yours will approve.
Do you have any idea how many relationships are affected because friends or family start weighing in before two people know where they stand? ”
She shot him a disbelieving look. “So you’re saying I’m not strong enough to stand up for myself? You think that if Reese tells me he doesn’t think you’re good for me, I’ll just agree with him and we’ll go our separate ways?”
He released a frustrated sound and got to his feet. She watched him pace back and forth in agitation. “No. I didn’t say that. I’m not worried about you being weak.” He stopped, then pushed a hand through his hair. “I’m worried about messing this up before it has a chance to become something solid.”
The admission was softer than his earlier argument.
And harder to ignore.
“Reese would never—”
“You don’t know what he might feel once he sees us together.” Christopher’s voice lowered. “What if he’s still holding a torch for you? That’s not to say I don’t trust you. I do. But I don’t know what it will be like to stand there and have him look at me like I took something from him.”
Lily watched him warily. That felt like a different answer than before. More honest, maybe. But it still didn’t settle everything.
A lot of relationships failed because one person couldn’t accept that their partner had a platonic friendship with someone of the opposite gender. And Reese wasn’t just some guy. He was her ex.
But Christopher wasn’t asking her to cut Reese out. He wasn’t making demands or issuing ultimatums. Still, his reluctance bothered her more than she wanted it to.
Lily dropped his gaze, guilt weaving its way into her heart. “I just want my two favorite people—”
She cut herself off.
It was too soon to admit that.
Christopher stopped short and stared at her, eyes flaring. “What?”
She shook her head, warmth spreading up from her chest and flooding her face. “Nothing. Let’s drop it.”
“No, we’re not going to drop it.” He closed the distance between them and crouched down in front of her. “You said your two favorite people.”
Lily refused to look up at him.
“Lily…”
His voice softened, and she felt his fingers pause beneath her chin before he tipped her face up gently enough that she could have looked away if she wanted to.
“Am I one of your favorite people, angel?”
She bit her lip so hard she nearly broke the skin. Then she closed her eyes. “I…”
“Because you’re my favorite person.”
Her eyes flew open, and she stared at him, searching for any evidence he was lying. She found none. “I am?”
One side of his mouth quirked upward, and he nodded. “Yeah.”
Lily exhaled, a soft laugh coming out with her held breath. Emotion burned behind her eyes. “You’re my favorite person, too.”
His smile was blinding. Then his focus dipped to her lips. For a brief second, she thought he might kiss her. That second stretched out for an eternity, the air between them charged and quiet.
But then Christopher withdrew. He settled back on the blanket they’d been sitting on, his eyes dancing with amusement mingling with something else. Longing, maybe.
Restraint.
Things between them had shifted. Even though it was new, she could sense in her heart that they had crossed into something deeper.
Even though Christopher was still holding back, it was nearly impossible to blame him for all of it. She liked the quiet moments she had with him. Heck, she wanted to keep her relationship with him private from her family for her own reasons.
She’d only hoped he would be up for meeting Reese because it felt like the reasonable next step. One day, she hoped the two of them would become close friends so they could all spend time together.
There was a possibility that would never happen, though.
Christopher didn’t appear to enjoy the company of others. Besides his brother, he didn’t talk much about having friends. That didn’t mean he was hiding something. But it did make her wonder how much of his life he was keeping to himself.
Lily reached for her bag and pulled out the snacks she’d brought with her. Grapes, crackers, and little cubes of cheese. She nibbled on a cracker as she considered the best way to satisfy her curiosity without shattering the peace they’d just found.
“I can practically hear your brain screaming,” Christopher mused.
His eyes were closed, but he wore a smile as he basked in the rays of the sun.
She took another bite of her cracker and dusted off her fingers. “Are you going to introduce me to your friends one day? When you’re ready?”
She watched him intently. She wanted to see if he tensed or showed any indication that he was hiding something. For a second, nothing. Then something flickered across his face so quickly she might have missed it if she hadn’t been looking.
Christopher opened one eye and peeked at her. “One day, when we’re both ready, I’m going to show you off to everyone.”
Why did that single sentence have so much bearing on her heart?
Flutters. Warmth. Peace.
Just knowing he planned for their relationship to continue long enough for that to happen made her want to wait. But as she turned her face back toward the sun, the small question in the back of her mind stayed right where it was.