Chapter 12
LILY
This couldn’t be happening.
Why was this happening?
Had she done something in a previous life to deserve being blindsided like this? Lily didn’t think so.
There wasn’t one big event that had made forgiveness difficult for her. Holding grudges was something she’d learned to do over time. A lot of little hurts that had taught her people couldn’t always be trusted.
One lie was all it took to make her question everything else.
That little seven-year-old best friend who stole her favorite pencil box at school? Enemies for life.
That first boy who kissed her under the mistletoe at her ninth-grade dance? She’d found out the hard way that he had a long-distance girlfriend. It didn’t matter that he thought they were on a break. He should have told Lily the truth before they locked lips.
Lily refused to be made a fool of when it came to the way she wanted to live her life.
And that was exactly what Aiden had done.
He’d let her believe something that wasn’t true because it suited him.
She sped down the sidewalk, barely noticing the people or shops around her. Her eyes burned as she replayed the conversation with Christopher—no, Aiden’s brother.
A truck had pulled up in front of the store just as she was walking past, but a cart blocked the way. She’d pushed it aside so the truck could get by and offered the man behind the wheel a small smile. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place him.
He climbed out of the truck and headed right for her. It nearly startled her when he held out his hand. “Thanks for the assist. I’m Parker.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she had a boyfriend, but then she reminded herself that not every man who approached her wanted something. She accepted his hand.
“Lily.” Then she tilted her head. “You must be new.”
He chuckled. “Is it that obvious?”
She smiled, liking the sound of his laugh. People needed to laugh more. To go out into the world and share their joy. This guy had a certain warmth about him. Outgoing and friendly.
Maybe she should introduce him to Jasmine.
Parker gripped the back of his neck, his eyes twinkling. It must have been nice to seem that genuinely happy.
Then again, what did she know? People wore all kinds of masks.
“I’m staying with my brother,” he said. “Maybe you know him? He works at the hospital. Total whiz, but don’t tell him I said so.”
She grinned. “Your secret’s safe with me. Unfortunately, I don’t know many people who work at the hospital. But my cousin does. Maybe he knows your brother?”
“That would make—”
Lily sensed him before she saw him. She turned, and a smile burst across her face when Christopher came into view.
Parker must have noticed the shift because he turned, too. “His ears must have been burning.”
She stiffened. She didn’t have to ask what Parker meant because he was an open book.
“There’s my brother, Aiden.” Parker shifted a little. “Everything okay?”
Lily hadn’t realized she’d stopped walking.
Her head pounded, and she felt dizzy. She leaned against a light post and drew in a few deep breaths.
Aiden.
Not Christopher.
He’d been lying. But why? For what possible reason would he let her believe his name was something else?
She knew everyone in the rodeo circuit called him Christopher. Maybe his brother called him Aiden because that was the name he’d grown up using. People had a right to go by different names.
Perhaps this wasn’t about lying.
She shook her head.
No.
She’d seen the guilt on his face. He knew he’d deceived her. He’d known long before she found out. Except the thought of exiling him from her life made her sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to consider what her days would feel like without him in them.
That frightened her almost as much as the lie.
What was she going to do?
“Lily.”
Aiden’s voice was breathless. She didn’t move from her spot. She didn’t lift her head or focus on his face. When he shifted into view, she turned away.
“I don’t think we should talk right now.” Her voice trembled, which only made her angrier. “I’m too upset.”
“I know,” he whispered. “But I need to explain.”
She huffed out a humorless laugh and finally met his gaze. “There’s no logical reason for you to lie about who you were.”
“I didn’t lie. Not exactly.”
Lily glowered at him. “That’s where you’re going to take this?”
He grimaced immediately. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Let me try again.”
Some of the fight went out of her, though not much.
Aiden gripped his hair with both hands and paced a few steps in front of her. “When we met that night, you called me Christopher, and I didn’t correct you. It’s my middle name. It’s what I go by at the rodeo. I figured there wasn’t any harm in it at the time.”
“But it’s been weeks! Don’t you think you should have told me by now?”
“Yes.” His face tightened. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you, and the longer I let it go, the harder it got to find the right time.”
The honesty of that answer stopped her.
He looked down at the sidewalk. “I don’t usually date anyone for long.”
Aiden sighed. “I overheard you talking to your sister about dating a guy your dad would approve of. I knew you wouldn’t give me even a chance if I told you what I did for a living, so I just went with what you assumed.
I figured there wasn’t any harm in letting you think what you already thought because I didn’t expect this to go anywhere. ”
“You didn’t expect us to go anywhere?” The question came out quieter than she meant it to.
Aiden closed his eyes briefly. “No.”
The answer hurt worse than she expected. He must have seen it on her face because he took a step toward her, then stopped himself.
“Lily, I’m not saying that because you weren’t worth more. I’m saying it because I wasn’t looking for more. I didn’t know what this would become.”
“But it did become something.”
“Yes,” he whispered. “It did.”
Her racing heart slowed at his confession, but the ache remained.
“Still,” she said, forcing herself not to be softened by the way his closeness and his words were affecting her, “you knew how I felt about lying. About being deceived. I told you that.”
“I know.”
“And you kept letting me call you Christopher. You let me believe you were a cowboy.”
His jaw tightened. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.”
Lily folded her arms, needing the barrier between them. “Then don’t stand there and act like this was one harmless misunderstanding.”
“I’m not.” His voice roughened. “I made a choice every time I didn’t correct you. A bad choice at that.”
That was closer to what she needed from him. Not enough. But closer.
Aiden swallowed hard. “There’s more.”
She stiffened, waiting for the final shoe to drop.
“Mathew is my best friend.”
She blinked. “What?”
He swallowed hard and inched closer to her. “I didn’t know you were his cousin when we met. But Mathew and I work together at the hospital.”
“And?”
Aiden closed his eyes like what he was about to say would be difficult. “He has rules. He doesn’t want me dating anyone in his family.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. Then she barked out a laugh. “What?”
Aiden’s face turned an adorable shade of red.
“I guess he doesn’t think I’m good enough…
or maybe he just doesn’t want the drama being brought to work.
I don’t know. I used to joke that I’d get Penny to date me one day.
It was fun joking around with him until…
” He closed his eyes briefly. Then, when he opened them, he closed the distance between them and reached for her hands.
“Until there was someone worth breaking all the rules for.”
She sucked in a surprised breath.
“Lily, I found out you were his cousin, and the guilt tore into me. I knew I needed to cut things off with you. Or tell Mathew. I needed to do something, but I couldn’t find a way that wouldn’t end up causing pain.
” His voice was hoarse, full of so much emotion that it nearly brought tears to her eyes.
“Even though it was early, I knew I couldn’t lose you. ”
Lily looked away, pressing her lips together. “Mathew can be a real idiot sometimes. I’m going to give him a piece of my—”
Panic flooded Aiden’s eyes, and his fingers tightened around hers before he seemed to catch himself. “Don’t say anything, please. I think he was coming from a good place when he made those rules.”
Her frown deepened. “How can you say that? You’re a good man. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”
He offered her a pained smile. “At the time, I wasn’t exactly interested in settling down with one girl. Remember what I said? I didn’t normally do relationships. It made sense for Mathew to tell me to steer clear of you—or anyone he cared about, for that matter. He knew what I was like.”
“But… you’re not like that anymore,” Lily hedged.
She immediately wished she hadn’t said it quite that way. She believed Aiden cared for her. She believed he wanted this relationship to continue. But she had also believed she knew his name.
There was no one else for her. She felt certain of that. Still, her certainty felt more fragile than it had an hour ago.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to be like that anymore. Not with you.”
Her heart softened, though the hurt didn’t disappear.
Aiden blew out a sigh. “So that’s why I try to avoid town when I’m with you. I didn’t want any news to get to Mathew. And as for keeping you away from my brother?” He flushed a deep crimson color—one that almost made her laugh. “Well, you saw him. He’s just so…”
“Charismatic?”
“That’s one word for it,” he grumbled. “See? Not even you were immune to his charm.”
Lily reached up and placed a hand to his cheek. “I’m not interested in Parker.”
He flinched at the sound of his brother’s name.
“I told you once we didn’t get along. The whole story is that I thought he stole my girlfriend.
Turns out she wasn’t a very good person, and she was trying to manipulate us both.
But until recently, I always believed he had.
” He set his pained eyes on her. “There’s always been a small part of me that worried he’d do it again. ”
“That wasn’t fair to him,” Lily said gently.
“No,” Aiden admitted. “Or to you.”
Her heart ached for him. Sounds like Aiden had been dealing with a lot since they’d started seeing each other. His fear made more sense now, even if it didn’t erase what he had done.
Lily sighed, her instinct to break things off because of the deception warring with the empathetic side of her. Her feelings ran far too deep for an easy decision.
She didn’t want to lose him. But she didn’t want to ignore the fact that he had chosen fear over honesty, either.
Could she understand why he’d been afraid to tell her?
Yes.
Did that mean he should have hidden it?
No.
She’d told Jasmine she needed to find a farmer or rancher to date. Maybe she wouldn’t have given Aiden a fair chance if she’d known everything at the start.
Now, she didn’t care what he did for a living.
Because the only person she wanted was standing in front of her.
Fixing him with a hard stare, she demanded, “Is there anything else?”
“Anything else?” he hedged, his anxiety returning.
“Anything else you think I need to know so we can get past this hurdle.”
He cleared his throat and stared at his feet.
The pause stretched long enough to make her uneasy.
“Aiden?”
His gaze lifted to hers. “There are things about my past you don’t know yet. But nothing else like this.”
It wasn’t quite the reassurance she’d been hoping for.
Still, she was too emotionally wrung out to pull apart every word on the sidewalk.
“Does this mean you’re willing to give me another chance?” he asked.
Lily sighed, drawing his attention to her again. “I’ve said my issue with holding grudges is a weakness, right? Well, maybe this is my opportunity to grow a little.”
Hope flickered to life in his eyes. It was the first time she’d seen that shine since she found out who he was. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” She took both of his hands again. “But that doesn’t mean what happened didn’t hurt.”
His expression sobered. “I know.”
“And it doesn’t mean everything goes back to normal right away.”
“Okay…I understand.”
She searched his face for a moment before continuing. “I guess this means we don’t have to hide our relationship anymore? I know you like your privacy, but if it was based on your friendship with Mathew—”
The panic in his eyes returned. “No.”
“No?”
He cleared his throat again and shifted where he stood. “Can we just… would you mind if we kept this our secret for the time being?”
“Why?” she demanded. “I don’t care what Mathew thinks—”
“But I do. He’s my closest friend. I don’t want him to…
” He swallowed hard, then moistened his lips.
“I think I need to be the one to tell him. I don’t want it to get to him through the gossip mill.
And I don’t want you to be the one who has to deal with his frustration.
I have to figure out the right time and place and the best way to say it. ”
The pleading in his tone tugged at her heart, but she didn’t want to agree too quickly.
“How long?”
Aiden hesitated. “A few days.”
Lily studied him. “I’m serious. I don’t want this becoming another secret that keeps getting harder to tell.”
His face tightened. “I know. A few days. I promise.”
She sighed, her thoughts shifting to Penny and Royce. “There’s a lot going on with my family’s drama right now. And Mathew has had his hands full with Penny.”
Aiden chuckled. “That’s just what I was thinking.”
They both laughed. Then Lily sobered.
“Okay. We’ll keep this under wraps for now—from my family. But can we at least start hanging out with your brother? Reese, maybe?”
He flinched.
The reaction was small, but she noticed it.
“Only if you’re comfortable,” she added, watching him closely.
Aiden nodded. “I’ll talk to Parker and see what he’s up for. I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance.”
She gave a faint giggle at his sarcasm, though the uneasiness didn’t fully leave her.
“Good.”
Then she pulled him into a hug.
Aiden held her carefully, almost like he understood that the embrace didn’t mean everything had been repaired.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For giving me a chance to do better.”