Chapter 17
AIDEN
Aiden was in trouble.
He’d been in deep before, but now things were starting to collide. It felt like he was on a runaway stagecoach with no way to stop the dang thing. The horses were out of control, and every option ahead looked painful.
The throbbing in his head from a sleepless night made the ache in his chest ten times worse. He rubbed at his temples as he sat hunched over on the break room couch.
He wasn’t proud of it, but he’d avoided Lily yesterday on the one day off he’d had this week. He’d made excuses about Parker needing him, but his brother had been busy with the church.
Aiden had spent the day hiding from the one person who deserved the truth most.
Now he knew.
Lily wouldn’t easily forgive him for keeping his friendship with Reese a secret. She’d said it was messy. Too messy because what if he couldn’t help comparing what Lily offered him to what she’d offered her ex? Too messy because what if Reese decided one day he wanted to fight for Lily?
They had a past, after all. They had something that had survived their breakup. It wasn’t too far-fetched that Lily might choose him.
Reese had never lied to her.
That thought had kept Aiden awake more than anything else. He leaned forward and pressed his palms against his eyes.
Other than occasionally saying grace before dinner, he hadn’t prayed in months. But sitting there with Lily’s trust slipping through his hands, he wished he remembered how to ask God for courage without sounding like a man begging to escape consequences he’d created himself.
The cushion at his side dipped.
A tray of food was placed on the coffee table in front of him and another beside it. Aiden didn’t have to look up to know Mathew was there.
His friend.
The one he’d always been able to count on—except, apparently, in matters of the heart.
Mathew was a good man. He was committed. He’d never been tempted to date around simply so he wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of getting too close to a woman only for everything to crumble in front of him.
Maybe he’d been right to make the stupid rule in the first place.
“You look like you’ve been hit by a bus,” Mathew grunted as he reached for his water and cracked it open. He took a sip, glancing at Aiden out of the corner of his eye. “Have you taken any breaks today? Besides this one, I mean?”
He hadn’t. And his shift was just about over. He didn’t eat yet today because he was too worried about the hole he’d dug for himself.
Aiden stared at the offering and inwardly grimaced. Would Mathew be this kind to him if he knew what Aiden had been keeping from him?
Probably not.
Mathew bowed his head briefly before taking another drink, a quiet habit Aiden had seen often enough to recognize as him saying grace. Aiden looked down at his own untouched tray. For some reason, that small act made the guilt press harder.
“So, you want to talk about it, or…” Mathew drawled after swallowing another gulp of water.
Aiden scowled at the tray of food as if it had personally offended him. Then he cracked his neck, ticking it from side to side. “Remember when I told you about a friend who was dating a friend’s ex?”
Mathew grunted. “Turns out you weren’t talking about you and Victoria.”
Aiden snorted a laugh. “No. Not Victoria.”
“What about it?”
Too much energy flowed through Aiden’s body. He couldn’t keep sitting still.
He shot to his feet and walked around to the other side of the coffee table, pacing with his hands laced behind his head. “Turns out there’s more to the story. She’s not just a friend’s ex. She’s related to another friend.”
Mathew’s head slowly lifted, and his eyes narrowed. “Okay.”
That single word held far too much power.
Aiden wanted to run out of the room and never look back. Pretend he’d never brought it up.
Instead, he stopped and faced Mathew. “He’s keeping the relationship a secret because he doesn’t want to destroy a friendship. Even though it’s putting a strain on him, he can’t see a way out of it. And he’s only confided in one person…”
“Are you talking about Parker?”
Aiden’s blood ran cold.
He hadn’t expected Mathew to bring up his brother. If anything, he’d figured Mathew would finally connect the dots.
He couldn’t bring himself to confirm or deny Mathew’s assumption.
His friend leaned back on the couch and dragged a hand down his face.
“I don’t know, man. After dealing with all the drama between Penny and Royce, I’m burned out.
” He shook his head. “If I were your brother and I felt this much guilt over dating someone I shouldn’t, then I’d stop sneaking around and make a decision.
He’s going to have to figure out what matters more—the friendship he’s had for years or a relationship he only just started. ”
Mathew rubbed at his jaw, frustration pulling at his features.
“Because if it’s already causing this much trouble,” he added, “he needs to ask himself whether the girl is worth all the fallout.”
Fury like Aiden had never experienced burst to life in his chest.
Lily wasn’t just some girl.
She was kind and sweet. Forgiving and patient. She looked past the issues he’d had and stayed even though she could have easily walked away. She had every right to be fed up with him, and yet she was still giving him a chance.
Heat flared beneath Aiden’s skin, and he stalked toward Mathew. “You don’t know anything,” he snapped. “She is worth it.”
Mathew’s brows shot up, and his irritation faded into surprise. “You?”
Aiden didn’t have time to backtrack. At this point, he didn’t care. He’d spent too long hiding.
“Yeah, me.” He pressed a fist against his chest as he continued to glare at his friend. “And Lily is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Mathew’s eyes rounded even further, and he sat up straighter. “Lily? As in my cousin Lily?”
His voice was unnervingly quiet.
He wasn’t looking at Aiden anymore, but rather at a spot on the floor, though based on his stare, it was clear he wasn’t focused on anything at all.
“The very same,” Aiden muttered. “I knew from the moment I saw her across the arena that she was something special. I knew she might have the ability to get to my heart, and I went for it anyway.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know she was your cousin. And frankly, I don’t know that it would have stopped me.”
He was all too aware that he was rambling, yet he couldn’t stop.
“I’m in love with her, Matt. So, so in love with her. The way she makes me feel…” His voice softened. “Her smile. The way she sees something in me that I’ve never been able to see for myself. She makes me want to be better.”
His breathing had gone heavy by the time he finished. As much as he wanted Mathew to be okay with this, he needed Lily more.
“I’m sorry if I’m not good enough in your eyes,” he murmured.
Mathew’s sharp gaze shot to his, pinning him in place.
“But this is happening whether you like it or not.” Aiden swallowed. “I love her, and I’m not walking away simply because you don’t approve.”
Mathew jolted to his feet, his hands curling into fists at his sides. His eyes flashed with annoyance. Or fury. Perhaps a little of both. Aiden expected him to lash out. To throw a punch, something Aiden was fully aware he might deserve after everything he’d kept from him.
He flinched when Mathew took a step forward. But his friend merely brushed past him and left the break room without a word.
Aiden exhaled, the breath whooshing out of his chest.
There. He’d done it. He’d told his best friend.
And now what?
Aiden pulled up to Lily’s home. It was the middle of the day. Anyone could see him and know exactly who he was there for. For once, he didn’t park far away.
He sent Lily a quick text telling her to come outside. He’d stopped at home to shower, but he was all too aware that water couldn’t wash the strain from his features.
That reality hit home even more when Lily burst from the house with a smile on her face, only for it to fade when she got a good look at him. The second she reached him, she placed her palms on either side of his face. “What’s wrong?”
He turned into her right palm and kissed it. “Mathew knows.”
Her eyes widened.
He could see the flicker of excitement in their blue depths, but it died as she connected his expression to the news. The light in her face dimmed, and he hated that he was responsible for it.
“What happened?” Her voice was small and nervous. “Was he mad?”
Aiden swallowed hard, unable to relay the whole conversation.
Her grip on him tightened. “Don’t worry about him. Mathew isn’t so pigheaded that he’d let this ruin your friendship. That’s just not who he is.”
Aiden shook his head. “You don’t know him the way I do. He doesn’t—or didn’t—approve of my dating lifestyle before I met you.”
“But you’ve changed.”
He nodded. He had changed. He’d gone from avoiding commitment and dating around to wanting one woman to choose him back. He’d do almost anything for the girl standing in front of him.
But love wasn’t supposed to mean burning down every friendship in his life and asking Lily to stand in the ashes with him. It was supposed to make him brave enough to tell the truth.
And there was still one more person he had to face.
Reese.
When it was only Reese he had to contend with, he might have been capable of taking care of the issue today. But after the conversation he’d had with Lily about how messy relationships could be, he wasn’t sure she wouldn’t walk away.
She was right.
They all were.
He’d made a mess of everything, and part of him couldn’t stop wondering how different this might have been if he’d come clean in the beginning.
“Hey.”
Lily’s soft, sweet voice pulled him back from the shadows of his fear. “It’s going to be okay. Mathew will come to terms with everything. You’re a good man.” She offered him a small, amused smile. “Maybe a little too worried about what other people think, but still a good man.”
Aiden looked at her. He wanted to tell her. The truth pressed hard against the back of his teeth.
Reese and I used to be best friends.
But after Mathew’s reaction, Aiden’s courage felt scraped raw.
“I don’t deserve you,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and breathed in deeply.
He’d have to focus on enjoying what he had for now.
Because eventually, Reese would find out.
If there was a chance that he could get his friend to see his side of things, then perhaps there would be a chance to salvage his friendships and his relationship with Lily.
“Don’t talk like that,” Lily whispered. “You’re just as worthy of love as anyone else. No more self-deprecating thoughts, alright?”
He nodded but couldn’t bring himself to verbalize anything. She was his rock, his anchor. Lily was what he needed to remind himself that he was allowed to chase after what made him happy even if there were people in his life who didn’t think he was worthy of any of it.
She did, though.
Lily thought he was worthy and that would have to be enough.